Help please ... Neighbours from hell

[Elmofan]

First time back on MN in a couple of years , :)

Long story (sorry) we have had 10 years of abuse from next door neighbours ... started off with petty taking over our car parking spot ... went on to them causing damage to our cars & property ... we eventually called the police after the wife crashed into my new car right in front of us with a big grin on the her face ... we did not press charges but just asked the police to give them a warning to back off .
We bought a puppy a year later .. the next morning the man next door put white powder (some sort of acid) all along the joint garden walls The neighbour on their other side called the local council and they came out took samples of this powder & neighbours were given a court order to remove this powder ... We then got a cctv system installed and things settled for a while.
fast forward to two years ago ... once again DH & I pleaded & tried to reason with neighbours to back off after they tried to bully our DS ... They agreed to start afresh , we all shook hands & two minutes later the man from next door knocked into us ... i invited him in for tea thinking things would be OK from now on ... only i was wrong :( .. He came in & threatened us He said & i quote " My wife comes from a very bad area & if her brothers get involved in this , it wont end well for us " he turned and walked out leaving dh & i standing in our hall in shock .. From that day onwards we completely ignored these people . Last night A tall stocky man claiming to be the woman next doors brother knocked into us with another guy standing at the end of our driveway with a hood up covering his face ... saying we have upset his little sister ... he claims he has been in prison for the last 10 years & only came out this Christmas and is hearing all sorts from neighbours .... he claims that be did his "homework" and knows where my DC'S go to school , who their friends with etc ... I took this as a threat and went inside to get my phone to record the conversation from that point unbeknownst to them ... this brother made several threats that if "we" don't stop upsetting his little sister then the rest of her family will get involved and this guys claims he is Santa clause compared to the rest of the clan .
Once again we will try sell our house (we had it up for sale 5 years ago but the woman next door intimidated any viewers we got & our estate agent told us he could not sell the house while our neighbours acted this way )
This guy warned us not to go to the police last night as he would be back with more family members if we did :(
It all ended with us shaking hands "once again" & agreeing to a fresh start which is all we've ever wanted .. should i report last nights events to the police ? Dh & I can not eat or sleep ... It's my DD's birthday today so i will try pop back later to reply ...
thank you for taking the time to read this

Lol that's what I thought too....

Jesus bloody christ they are threatening your children! ! Please go to the police asap and then go stay with friends or family and get an injunction put it place. If anyone threatened my child it be the last thing they did... Please go to the police and tell them you are concerned for your family's safety. Reading your post made my stomach churn how dare they threaten your children!

I was in a similar situation almost ten years ago. The police were utterly hopeless despite mountains of evidence and the appalling things that our neighbours did to us.

They too stopped us selling our house on a number of occasions and in the end we had to trade it in to a builder of a new house.

It was a terrible time as your home should be somewhere you feel safe. I can't even begin to explain how bad it was and the effect that it had on us.

I learnt that you can't 'win' against lunatics like these people as they don't think in the same way as the rest of us.

The only way is to move.

Savoy, did you also involve a solicitor?

The reason I ask is that police/ guards are sometimes reluctant to handle injunctions and protective orders.

My solicitor essentially forced the police to act (and they did) but could equally have sought protective measures in a civil hearing, should the police have continued to refuse.

They tried to refuse on the grounds that it is a civil matter, when actually it can be dealt with as either criminal or civil. Where there is enough evidence to satisfy the CPS, it should be moved forward as a criminal matter but for some reason, the police will try to avoid dealing with it. Ridiculous!

It did go to the CPS but they said they couldn't proceed due to lack of evidence. There was evidence for what it's worth. Our neighbours had a party in their front garden to celebrate.

We had a solicitor. That helped psychologically I think. Having someone who believed us.

Before this happened, I had a child like view of the police I suppose. If someone commits a crime, you go to the police and they will help you. Now I don't think that this is the case at all and we realised that we had to get ourselves out of the situation. Nobody was going to do it for us.

Well she has a recording of the conversation right? And from a man who is just out of jail from a 10 year stretch?

I mean, just seriously, just the fact that a man who is just out of jail for what was (apparently) a serious offence is spending time in the house where these children are should be concerning right? It must be at least drugs/murder/manslaughter/rape for a sentence like that?

But that's your Mumsnet for you. Baulk at sending your kid somewhere where there isn't organic quinoa picked by the tooth fairy but if poor people expect their kids to be cared for in an environment where there are no serious offenders then they're obviously complete discrimatory bastards

Do not threaten them back. Call 101 and report the threats that have been made. Call 999 if these men ever turn up again. You will have to be vigilant and keep phones on you at all times, doors locked etc. The police will be able to help with safeguarding if needed. Going forwards you will have to keep a record of all incidents and report them to the police each time. You do not have to put up with this. I haven't read all 4 pages, I take it they own their house and the council cannot get involved and attempt eviction (this takes a looong time). Some of what you describe is rightly dealt with by the council but the threats you are receiving are something the police can and will deal with. Unfortunately neighbourhood disputes are difficult for the police to resolve, quite often there are counter allegations and no witnesses, it comes down to one word against another and no evidence to prove it either way however if the police can build up a record of what's going on it will help them understand the truth so report everything. You have cctv aswell which is great- make sure it's working. Good luck. X

Savoy, that's awful! I agree that the police can't always be trusted to act appropriately. In a completely unrelated matter, I recently called them for advice. I found myself quoting current legislation to them - they had to go off to do some research (which confirmed the law as I'd stated it!), before we could continue the discussion . I found it quite worrying, that they weren't even aware of a law they're meant to uphold.

Am I the only one thinking the brother is full of shit? I doubt he's done a 10 year stretch,think it's all bloody nonsense. They threaten you because you because they can. If someone made a comment about harming my child,they wouldn't be saying it a second time.

What would you do icelolly, to stop them saying it the second time? Attacked them with a golf club? Burned their house down? What?

The wife works as a childminder in the house so is home all day and her dh works part time

You mean other peoples children are in the care of these people???? WTF?

Can you speak to a solicitor I know they are hideously and prohibitively and wickedly expensive.....

However......I was told in the past it might be worth investing in one session and one letter....to put frighteners on them.

with your recordings etc....

perhaps they you could spell out what legal action may mean for them...ie loss of earnings as CM and so on....criminal records....

put the power back in your court.

I am horrified they look after peoples children, horrified.

• Baulk at sending your kid somewhere where there isn't organic quinoa picked by the tooth fairy but if poor people expect their kids to be cared for in an environment where there are no serious offenders then they're obviously complete discrimatory bastards

YY

Before this happened, I had a child like view of the police I suppose. If someone commits a crime, you go to the police and they will help you. Now I don't think that this is the case at all and we realised that we had to get ourselves out of the situation. Nobody was going to do it for us.

I agree same here, until you need the system and if you have no money to sit back and let people handle it for you , you have no idea how utterly crap and useless the reality actually is.

I wouldn't have a for sale sign put up, just list the house online and hopefully neighbours won't see. Don't tell them its for sale! Selling is your only way out, as awful as that is, you have no choice.

I love turquoise's resolution, renting her house to a 'hard' family who then chased out the nightmare family - well done!

If this continues, call the police. Let neighbours know that plain clothed officers will be visiting regularly - hopefully they will mistake viewers for police and so leave them alone [clutches at straws]

Good luck op.

Anyone and 26poimt. The police and SS called and came around to our house to tell us, they wouldn't discuss it over the phone. they didn't tell us what the allegations were but said if they were true we would likely see the outcome in the local newspapers due to the nature of allegations. There is lots more to the story but I'm not prepared to go into it here.

Needless to say what happened is 100% true, I have no need to lie about this especially on the Internet.

Oh Elmo, oh honey. :( We've missed you! Sorry you're back for this.

I would keep phone on you at all times, record and/or photograph EVERY SINGLE INCIDENT. Call the police every time, present them with the proof, and tell them you will go to the papers if they do not act. Call your DCs schools and tell them. Call the child minding licensing board (PR whatever it is there) and complain that she has caustic powder around (there must be a record of this) and an ex con at her home. Complain loudly and bitterly to everyone you can. Squeaky wheel.gets the grease, always. Do not open your door to them, call the police if they step foot on your property.

And I'll send you my taser if you like.

No, I won't, that's illegal and all, but I'd really like to.

Oh Elmo I am SO sorry this is happening again. Bad MN etiquette but I haven't time to read all the replies right now but wanted to post. My advice will likely be different anyway.

You can't win. You need to give up. Starting fresh will not work with these people, they have crossed the line too many times. In mentioning your DC's school, they are so far over the line it defies description. It is wrong, but it is more important to be safe and peaceful in your own home You need to move. I know how hard it is to sell with that going on but if that doesn't happen you need to move and rent until it can be sold. Losing money is way better than losing your sanity. I know this.

Also, we both know you can expect the police to be useless and of little help. But you still need to call them now. With the threat against your DCs you have no choice anymore. Document, record, and call the police. Once you've crossed over that line, be prepared to call them Every Single Incident after. Keep that CCTV on and keep your own notes, including what you report to police.

Just my opinion of course. Whatever you do know that we are here to support you. This stuff is horrendous, absolutely horrendous mentally. When you need to talk, you will always have support. I am so sorry this is happening. x

Waves a big hello to Cheerful & gomummy x

sorry i never got back to this thread sooner but our dog (Oscar) became really sick & sadly died on Friday :(
here is the link to a thread explaining his death x www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_doghouse/2285152-first-night-without-Oscar?