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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Help please ... Neighbours from hell

94 replies

Elmofan · 31/12/2014 14:10

First time back on MN in a couple of years , :)

Long story (sorry) we have had 10 years of abuse from next door neighbours ... started off with petty taking over our car parking spot ... went on to them causing damage to our cars & property ... we eventually called the police after the wife crashed into my new car right in front of us with a big grin on the her face ... we did not press charges but just asked the police to give them a warning to back off .
We bought a puppy a year later .. the next morning the man next door put white powder (some sort of acid) all along the joint garden walls The neighbour on their other side called the local council and they came out took samples of this powder & neighbours were given a court order to remove this powder ... We then got a cctv system installed and things settled for a while.
fast forward to two years ago ... once again DH & I pleaded & tried to reason with neighbours to back off after they tried to bully our DS ... They agreed to start afresh , we all shook hands & two minutes later the man from next door knocked into us ... i invited him in for tea thinking things would be OK from now on ... only i was wrong :( .. He came in & threatened us He said & i quote " My wife comes from a very bad area & if her brothers get involved in this , it wont end well for us " he turned and walked out leaving dh & i standing in our hall in shock .. From that day onwards we completely ignored these people . Last night A tall stocky man claiming to be the woman next doors brother knocked into us with another guy standing at the end of our driveway with a hood up covering his face ... saying we have upset his little sister ... he claims he has been in prison for the last 10 years & only came out this Christmas and is hearing all sorts from neighbours .... he claims that be did his "homework" and knows where my DC'S go to school , who their friends with etc ... I took this as a threat and went inside to get my phone to record the conversation from that point unbeknownst to them ... this brother made several threats that if "we" don't stop upsetting his little sister then the rest of her family will get involved and this guys claims he is Santa clause compared to the rest of the clan .
Once again we will try sell our house (we had it up for sale 5 years ago but the woman next door intimidated any viewers we got & our estate agent told us he could not sell the house while our neighbours acted this way )
This guy warned us not to go to the police last night as he would be back with more family members if we did :(
It all ended with us shaking hands "once again" & agreeing to a fresh start which is all we've ever wanted .. should i report last nights events to the police ? Dh & I can not eat or sleep ... It's my DD's birthday today so i will try pop back later to reply ...
thank you for taking the time to read this

OP posts:

afreshstartplease · 31/12/2014 14:32

Don't you all wish she was your dcs childminder....

SolidGoldBrass · 31/12/2014 14:33

YOu have a recording of the threats? Then go to the police. You can get court orders to prevent these people from speaking to you - and to bar the ex-con brother from the area as he doesn't live there. If they break the orders they will go to prison. Threats against children, especially, will be taken very seriously.
Good luck.

Original poster

Elmofan · 31/12/2014 14:55

Thanks everyone , Yes i have a recording of last nights whole conversation bar the threat against my dc's ... as it was straight after that i went inside to get my phone to record the rest of the conversation .

OP posts:

Petallic · 31/12/2014 15:02

Go to the police - they may or may not tell you directly (some officers are more indiscreet than others), but their reaction will tell you whether this family is a known family to them and how much of the family's bullshit is actually true. I sympathise a lot - I had significant trouble with a local "bad family" and it was horribly stressful. Also agree with pp - a 10 year prison sentence in my experience means a long and restrictive license period after they are released and the police/probation will want to know.

Petallic · 31/12/2014 15:04

Also, when I had my issues the police offered to visit in unmarked cars/non uniform - you could always request this if you are concerned initially about having the neighbours spotting that the police are visiting you.

mommy2ash · 31/12/2014 15:17

report them to the police every single time.

is there some sort of mad back story here. they bought the house off your sister? was there some sort of problem with the sale. do any other neighbours have problems with them

borisgudanov · 31/12/2014 15:19

Obnoxious filth.

I'd be putting up a twatcam above my front door and sending all interesting footage to the police and, since they have a childminding business (for the time being), OFSTED. I'm pretty sure I'd be getting a solicitor involved as well.

MammaTJ · 31/12/2014 15:23

I can't get past their totally stupidity! You actually went inside to get your phone, a device well known for recording ability and he continued making threats!

I think you have all the power here, if you use it correctly and do not actually go to the police at this point.

Use it.

Or go to the police and hope they protect you.

LegoSuperstar · 31/12/2014 15:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pipbin · 31/12/2014 15:40

What is their actual problem with you? Is there one of do they just like pissing you off?
If she is a childminder then I would be in contact with OFSTED straight away.

Bulbasaur · 31/12/2014 15:48

Sorry, if someone ever threatened my family, I would go out of my way to utterly ruin them.

Call the police and press charges, inform OFSTED of her antics, get your child's school involved in case they do show up.

If nothing else, you need to inform the police and protect your children. If they do hurt your son, it's your fault for allowing it to happen. Do you want you child to be hurt? Do you want him to disappear? They know where he goes to school they were bold enough to threaten you in your own yard. They will be bold enough to intimidate your son at school.

You not wanting to cause an upset is not worth your children ending up sexually abused or murdered.

Bulbasaur · 31/12/2014 15:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

NotMyName123 · 31/12/2014 16:03

If you sell, won't you have to let the buyers know you've had problems with the neighbours?

Chillyegg · 31/12/2014 16:06

Like others have said;
Call the police
Call ofstead

I lived in a really really really rough area when at Uni and we got all sorts the best thing you can do is not show your scared! Call the police and if they come round threatening you be cool calm and collected. Don't engage. Call the police. And if they are the kind of weirdos who aren't scared of the police call whoever you know will upset them. Ie of they dump more crazy powder call the council and ofstead because children should surely not be playing with that! Don't let them intimidate you because it will just get worse!

Ubik1 · 31/12/2014 16:08

Why the fuck haven't you phoned the police?

AcrossthePond55 · 31/12/2014 16:21

Phone the police. Get CCTV. Start a diary of every single incident, even if it's as innocuous as watching you from a window.

And weren't there recently two brothers (homeowners not renters) who were banned from their house for a period of time under ASBO rules? I know it was rather stupid as I think the council just 'rehomed' them elsewhere for the period, but I'd think it would put a big dent in her childminding business if she were banned from her property.

Even if you do list your house again, won't you have to declare these people as 'nuisance neighbours'? Is there some way you could approach them with "Look, you don't like us, we don't like you. Fine. We'd like to sell our house then you won't have to see or deal with us anymore".

SuperFlyHigh · 31/12/2014 16:38

I work for a solicitors who personally would be my last resort unless police got involved and didn't do much.

For gods sake go to the police! Report childminder to ofsted etc. Do not engage but do not let yourself be bullied (ie take a stand). Also please don't naively feel you can deal with this as you can't and they've upped it to another level.

From my own familys dealings with nasty threatening pieces of work we generally got solicitors involved and/or ignored the violence. Most of it is hot air but in this case you don't know. That's why it's vital police, probation are involved. I've temped a long time ago for probation and trust me if the jailbird is breaking his conditions he could soon find himself inside again.

As others say make their lives difficult but plan it and record everything.

And ultimately if they don't move you should (they may sell) why the fuck should you sell if you're happy there?! Get the blighters on asbos etc and they may want to sell and annoy some other people

Pipbin · 31/12/2014 16:44

Check with your household insurance if you have any legal cover.
I'm not sure what you can do about it legally but a letter from a solicitor saying 'fuck the fuck off' in solicitor speak might help.

AnyoneforTurps · 31/12/2014 17:02

Your children could end up raped and dead, and you're shaking hands

Yep, that's the sort of calm assessment of the situation that will really help the OP make a rational decision. Genius

newyearsresolutionsnotforme · 31/12/2014 17:19

Go to the Police, they are the only ones who can help now. If they get enough on them, they may even evict them so it will work in selling favour. You can see this is getting worse, it's never going to get better. You need to log everything and call the Police.

Tell the Police everything, get a crime reference number and if they even come close you need to call the Police right away and tell them what's happened.

Bulbasaur · 31/12/2014 17:22

Yep, that's the sort of calm assessment of the situation that will really help the OP make a rational decision.

They showed up at her house and threatened her. They told her they knew where her children went to school and threatened them. One of the men threatening her is an ex-con, which means he might have no trouble breaking the law again.

What other rational decision is there to make aside from calling the police to protect her family?

They've already crossed the line and upped the stakes. She has let this escalate from a park space squabble to this. They have made it clear that they will continue to escalate. She can not say she is 100% certain that they will not target her children, and that is more than enough to get the law involved and come down hard on them.

Are you suggesting she wait until something even more serious happens? Because the next step up is going to be someone actually getting hurt.

JellyDiamond · 31/12/2014 17:31

Is there some kind of backstory to this that your not telling us OP? Not that I don't believe you, I do, but I just cannot believe your neighbours are behaving like this for no apparent reason. You say it all started over them "taking over" your parking space, have you antagonised them in some way? And as others have said, why haven't you been to the police yet?

Shakey1500 · 31/12/2014 17:32

I would go all out to ruin them, with as litte trail leading back to me. As well as going to the police ASAP. Do not let yourself be intimidated

Turquoisetamborine · 31/12/2014 17:35

We had dreadful harrassment from our neighbours. We cut our losses and rented our house out as couldn't sell. Yes we are not in the world's best financial position because of this but we are safe and happy in our new rented home (which we will be buying soon).
We made sure that we put the roughest tenants possible in our house and she freaked and moved out within 6 months saying how dreadful our tenants were! Gave her a taste of her own medicine and we still have the house rented out now with minimal hassle.

cerealqueen · 31/12/2014 17:38

She works as a childminder and is threatening your children? Tell OFSTED.

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