Help please ... Neighbours from hell

[Elmofan]

First time back on MN in a couple of years , :)

Long story (sorry) we have had 10 years of abuse from next door neighbours ... started off with petty taking over our car parking spot ... went on to them causing damage to our cars & property ... we eventually called the police after the wife crashed into my new car right in front of us with a big grin on the her face ... we did not press charges but just asked the police to give them a warning to back off .
We bought a puppy a year later .. the next morning the man next door put white powder (some sort of acid) all along the joint garden walls The neighbour on their other side called the local council and they came out took samples of this powder & neighbours were given a court order to remove this powder ... We then got a cctv system installed and things settled for a while.
fast forward to two years ago ... once again DH & I pleaded & tried to reason with neighbours to back off after they tried to bully our DS ... They agreed to start afresh , we all shook hands & two minutes later the man from next door knocked into us ... i invited him in for tea thinking things would be OK from now on ... only i was wrong :( .. He came in & threatened us He said & i quote " My wife comes from a very bad area & if her brothers get involved in this , it wont end well for us " he turned and walked out leaving dh & i standing in our hall in shock .. From that day onwards we completely ignored these people . Last night A tall stocky man claiming to be the woman next doors brother knocked into us with another guy standing at the end of our driveway with a hood up covering his face ... saying we have upset his little sister ... he claims he has been in prison for the last 10 years & only came out this Christmas and is hearing all sorts from neighbours .... he claims that be did his "homework" and knows where my DC'S go to school , who their friends with etc ... I took this as a threat and went inside to get my phone to record the conversation from that point unbeknownst to them ... this brother made several threats that if "we" don't stop upsetting his little sister then the rest of her family will get involved and this guys claims he is Santa clause compared to the rest of the clan .
Once again we will try sell our house (we had it up for sale 5 years ago but the woman next door intimidated any viewers we got & our estate agent told us he could not sell the house while our neighbours acted this way )
This guy warned us not to go to the police last night as he would be back with more family members if we did :(
It all ended with us shaking hands "once again" & agreeing to a fresh start which is all we've ever wanted .. should i report last nights events to the police ? Dh & I can not eat or sleep ... It's my DD's birthday today so i will try pop back later to reply ...
thank you for taking the time to read this

as as well as police obvs.

Go to the police, this will not stop unless you do.

Your brothers advice is really fucking stupid.

By not going to the police you are sending the clear message that you will allow them to intimidate you.

I can't believe you haven't already called the police, are you insane? They threatened your DC! Call the police immediately!

As everyone says - police and ofsted. We have nightmare neighbours at the moment, so I feel or you, OP. Once your kids are threatened, you have no choice. If they have children of their own I would also be calling Children's Services as they need to be monitored.

These people will be known to the police.

Something I'm not sure anyone else has mentioned but if you have an ongoing dispute with neighbours, you are supposed to mention it when selling the house - or you could be sued, later. I am not a homeowner so don't know the ins and outs of this, but I think it is a possibility.

I'd be tempted to rent it out and move ASAP. But this is a criminal act - harassment - and you have to act to protect your kids. It might be bluster and empty threats - but you can't gamble on this. They want you compliant (hence the handshakes) - you need to draw a line in the sand but also put your safety first. I'd get the hell out but rent it out maybe for a while, whilst you find out where you stand re. having to declare a neighbour dispute if you sell.

Sorry but ofsted?? To say what?

She's a childminder who has made threats regarding children. OFSTED / local authority should be notified as she should not pass DBS checks.

The wife is a childminder. She will be registered with OFSTED.

And her husband thinks it's funny to pour acid powder along the walls where children play.

Did the op actually say what the powder was?

sorry i'm only getting back now to this thread , dd has had a birthday party so can post for a few mins now :)
Ok first off we did call the police 5 years ago , they were not very helpful , treated us like we were wasting their time and only advice they gave us was to move .
Forgot to mention we are in Ireland , so not sure if OFSTED is here but im sure there has to be some regulating service
ATM we are considering leaving our house & renting elsewhere till it sells , To say i am heartbroken to leave our home is an understatement it was our dream home and we are in negative equity , but my family's peace of mind & safety comes first .
Other neighbours are also having problems with next door but not on the same level as us :(

Oh and yes we were told the powder on the garden walls was Costic soda .

I had neighbours from hell some years ago and decided to move. We did not tell anyone in the neighbourhood we were moving and did not have a for sale sign put up. the first anyone new we were leaving was when the removal lorry turned up

Call the police about every incident and keep calling them. Keep a diary of events with details with what has happened. Speak to the neighbours the other side and see if they are having any problems.

You can also use a new power called the community trigger which means that if you report 3 or more incidents of antisocial behaviour that the statutory agencies have to consider what they do about it.

Yes, well if it is the Garda, unless something has improved, they are bloody hopeless.

But I'm not sure if you have to tell future purchasers about bad neighbours either in Ireland.

Sounds like their full of shit and are just trying to intimidate, the people who are really nasty don't come and knock on your door and tell you, they just do whatever it is their going to do. If she's a child minder ruin her business, phone the authorities all the time about her. Phone the police and let them listen to the tapes and tell them she's a child minder, they will close her down the same day. Instead of backing down you need to fight fire with fire if you don't they will always walk over you.

Elmo my DBro exwife was having problems with neighbours which she wanted him to sort out He went to the Gardai and informed them of the threats made against his DC
, they visited his exwife in an unmarked car in plain clothes, they log every incident on both sides, she is as bad as the neighbours Ex SIL was reported to Dept of Ed here and lost her nursery school, the Gardai assisted my DBro eith statements and he got temp custody of the DC while it was being sorted as SIL refused to move house incase DB moved back in, neighbours threatened to murder them in their beds
Report report and report, take the log number from the Gardai and write out a history and document every incident and after reporting to the Gardai give eberything in a file to a solicitor to hold and add to it as necessary.

The wife has not threatened anyone.. There is no proof of any threats as op won't go to the police to formalise it

Ofsted won't work on gossip/unfounded allegations, get real everyone!

Go to the police! Every single time they threaten, knock into you or even look at you sideways, have it logged with the police.
Very soon, they will have enough evidence to apply for an injunction.
Also speak with a solicitor. A solicitor may be able to seek a protective order in civil law, without the same weight of evidence that the cps require.

I agree with 26point. WTF do people expect Ofsted (or the CFA, the Irish equivalent for preschool) to do at this stage? There is no proof that the childminder had any knowledge of the threats her brother made. There is, in fact, no proof that her brother did make threats against the OP's DC, as the OP wasn't recording at that stage. The CFA can't start chucking people out of their jobs because of unsubstantiated reports of bad behaviour by their siblings.

Mumsnetters tend to have a semi-mystical belief in the power of The Authorities. OP, if you do want to take this further, you have to get the police to log every incident - only then can the CFA or any other body act.

Sell it to one of those buy any house companies - yes you lose on market cost but you will have to declare the trouble with next door anyway and that will put a lot of buyers off - or part ex?

Report to the police and get in touch with your local member of government and complain to them as well.Find out who you complain to ie the fact that the house is used for child minding yet the occupants are violent and that the husband placed a dangerous substance where the children in the wife's care could have got to it.

Do not back down!That's what they've been wanting you to do all along.How do you know that this hasn't all been a plow to get you to knock the price of your house right down whilst trying to sell it so that they can buy it or another member of they're family can buy it?

I can't believe you didn't report the wife for crashing into your car on purpose I'd have had her arrested there and then.

Contact the Police now and tell them about the recent threats and the fact that you've recorded it and tell them you expect someone to come and deal with it now!You must stand your ground OP.They're bullies therefore they're banking on you not standing up to them.Call the idiots bluffs.

26point you are absolutely wrong.

our old CM was closed down because of an unproven allegation made against her husband, they closed her down same day and visited all the parents of kids who they looked after and told them they could never go back. They said there was little to no danger to the kids and they believed the incident was completely unfounded and didnt believe it would come to anything but they were taking no chances when it comes to other people's kids. The husband was out all day and only seen kids during his holidays when he wasn't working.

Studs you only got one version of events.... The chosen 'tell the parents' one

Can you imagine if this was true and a cm could get closed merely on gossip?? Get real

our old CM was closed down because of an unproven allegation made against her husband, they closed her down same day and visited all the parents of kids who they looked after and told them they could never go back. They said there was little to no danger to the kids and they believed the incident was completely unfounded and didnt believe it would come to anything but they were taking no chances when it comes to other people's kids.

Sounds incredibly unlikely. What's your source of information? Ofsted won't have been able to disclose the full details of any allegation against the husband and the CM was hardly likely to tell you the full story. I do a lot of safeguarding work, admittedly with the NHS rather than Ofsted, and there is no way that you could close down a service or sack an employee on such flimsy evidence. You'd be in front of an employment tribunal faster than you can say "unsubstantiated allegation".

Try ringing Ofsted to report that the brother of your next-door neighbour, (with whom you have a long-running dispute, so cannot be considered an impartial witness) made some threats against your kids to which you have no witnesses, let alone any proof that your neighbour had any knowledge of the threats and ask them to close down her CM business. Good luck with that.