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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed that I've had no time to do anything over christmas?

75 replies

Whowillsaveyoursoul · 31/12/2014 08:32

This christmas I have had literally zero time to do anything without ds (5). Usually dh takes him to pil on a Sunday but ds was ill the first Sunday of the holidays and dh was ill the second Sunday of the holidays so he didn't take him.

Dh in contrast has played four full days of golf since ds broke up. Four. I'm desperate to go and get myself some new shoes and a few work clothes before going back on Monday so thought I'd go this Sunday when dh goes to pil. Arranged to meet friend too. Then yesterday dh announces we are going out for lunch with mil on Sunday and he wants to take her out for the day too.
So I've had to cancel my plans and won't have any chance to go and get my shoes etc. oh and dh off again today to do golf.

Aibu to be pissed off? I love having ds with me but he won't tolerate me going round the shops! I only wanted half a day. It shouldn't be too much to ask should it?

OP posts:
FunkyBoldRibena · 31/12/2014 08:35

Can you go out Friday or Saturday and leave him with his child?

Original poster
Whowillsaveyoursoul · 31/12/2014 08:36

We've booked do to something together on Friday and Saturday dh will be at...wait for it...golf.

OP posts:
redexpat · 31/12/2014 08:37

no it shouldnt. Does dh know that you had plans? Does he know you need shoes?

And what was your response to his announcement? Did you say that you already had plans?

BrieAndChilli · 31/12/2014 08:39

I would tell him to cancel golf on sat.

Original poster
Whowillsaveyoursoul · 31/12/2014 08:39

Yes I told him I had plans. In fairness he didn't know I'd made them but since he'd told me he was taking ds to pil I figured I'd be safe to go.
He just assumed I would cancel my plans.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 31/12/2014 08:40

How does he get to change the plans on your 'day off' (Sunday) but you have to respect his Saturdays for golf? I'd just say that since Sunday has been his choice, Saturday is yours (shopping)

Humansatnav · 31/12/2014 08:41

Erm, tell him to cancel golf and look after his son while you have some time to yourself.

Original poster
Whowillsaveyoursoul · 31/12/2014 08:41

I can't go the following weekend either as dh will be golfing on the Saturday and ds has a party on the Sunday. Right in the middle of the day.

OP posts:
Pipbin · 31/12/2014 08:41

Tell him that you need him to have DS because you have stuff to do. Not even hobby type stuff like playing golf.
He's just going to have to suck it up for one afternoon.

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/12/2014 08:43

Golfing isn't brain surgery or fighting a war. It's a hobby. It's not written in stone.

306235388 · 31/12/2014 08:43

Go on Sunday. End of.

Ifyourawizardwhydouwearglasses · 31/12/2014 08:43

Tell him to cancel golf!

Ifyourawizardwhydouwearglasses · 31/12/2014 08:44

Or let him take his own mother out and go on Sunday.

Pipbin · 31/12/2014 08:44

The way I'm reading this he gets to PLAY all the sodding time whenever he wants regardless of the needs of the rest of his family.
He needs to understand that we would all like to go and play games whenever we fancied it but someone has to get shit done and sometimes that someone should be him.

MargotLovedTom · 31/12/2014 08:47

Don't cancel your plans. Tell him to cancel golf or take your son along when he sees his mother.

Humansatnav · 31/12/2014 08:47

What would happen if you told him to cancel golf?

MargotLovedTom · 31/12/2014 08:48

Meaning you do your thing while he sees his mother with ds in tow.

FunkyBoldRibena · 31/12/2014 08:49

Saturday dh will be at...wait for it...golf.

What would happen if you went out before he left to go to golf?

Hulababy · 31/12/2014 08:50

Your dh needs to stop being selfish and cut back the golf.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 31/12/2014 08:51

He presumed you would cancel, and you have. Stand up fot yourself woman!

"DH I cant make lunch Sunday as I have plans, so you and DS will have tO go without me. If its necessary for me to come then you will have to cancel Golf Saturday so I can do my stuff then"

Dont just roll over and let him do this.

Viviennemary · 31/12/2014 08:56

I'd just say can we postpone lunch to another week as I have made plans to meet a friend. Why should it always be you having to cancel things to suit him. There has to be some give and take otherwise it's all a complete waste of time.

Mouthfulofquiz · 31/12/2014 08:56

This level of golfing is not fair or sustainable. That is family life I'm afraid - and he needs to suck it up a bit! Have you chatted to him about it?

LiegeAndLief · 31/12/2014 08:56

I'm struggling to understand why you had to cancel your plans. Or why ds having a party in the middle of the day is a problem when your dh would be looking after him anyway.

ChasedByBees · 31/12/2014 08:57

So he gets 5 days playing golf and you get no time off? Tell him to cancel golf or take his mum out by himself. He's being really selfish.

Longtalljosie · 31/12/2014 08:58

Give him a choice - either he goes to the lunch with DS and without you, or chooses which golfing day to cancel. Is he a twat or are you being a bit of a martyr?