Another mil one..

[VixxenPlusAllTheOtherReindeers]

I just wanted some feedback on whether I am being unreasonable and petty or not.

I invited the in laws over for nye for food and drinks. They agreed.

Backstory is mil is passive aggressive I think she likes me then she will say a comment such as something derogatory or something to imply I am not good enough for her son.

Sunday she turned up and said that her husband didn't want to come he wants to go to his mums but before that shes going to her brothers for dinner and I am invited.

I declined and dp said I thought she invited you here? mil said oh fil doesn't want to go.

Dp says that he would appreciate it we all go to his uncles and nans. I feel his parents are ruined. I have bought food etc and it was the expectation I should stop what ive planned without any questions.

I know this is a first world problem but the family annoy me sometimes. Am I being petty and should I just go to save an argument?

They accepted an invite, then not only changed their minds with short notice, but they expect you to change your plans too, to suit them. Very rude of them. I might be being petty too, but I would rather stay home on my own, than be forced to spend it with people who had just been so damn rude to me, and have to smile and play nice.

That's pretty darn rude! So, they are ditching your invite for something else? Your DH needs to explain to them that this is out of order.

Sorry, should also have said, if your DP thinks his DMs behaviour is fine, and you should just suck it up so he can have a quiet life, then you have bigger issues than your MIL. If my parents did this to DH and I, I would be politely telling them it wasn't on, and following DHs lead on where he wanted to spend NYE.

I'd stay home and invite friends over who would appreciate my food and company frankly.

Yanbu that is so rude of them! And why is your DH asking you to go along with them.

He said he knows they are rude but I shouldn't blame him because its nothing to do with him.
I said il stay at home alone, cue him saying he would really appreciate it if I came. How we could spend all the other nights together and how nye isn't every night.

Really know this will be an argument if I stay at home!

Let him go and invite friends over to enjoy the food and company

It has everything to do with your DH ecause he's expecting you to pander to their bad behaviour and he's not calling them on it. You do have bigger issues then just MIL if his attitude is to pander, ignore and enable her behaviour.

I'd invite friends over and tell him it's his choice. He can tell them to come to yours and join the fun or join them- you're sick of pandering to people like tat and you would appreciate it if he actually stood by his family sometimes, not just his parents.

I agree with apl comments just didn't know if I was being unreasonable.

She just came to my work and said that she should have asked the husband if he had any plans before agreeing and I should just come.

Fair enough she sould her asked her husband, that's her problem not yours. IF this was a one off and DH didn't pander to PA behaviour I'd say write it off but it sounds like it is, especially now she's trying to convince you to come.

It is just another example of me compromising for the family! Thanks everyone for your opinions.

Staying at home on your own just makes you look sulky and 'difficult'.

Yes, they were rude and thoughtless. But it doesn't sound as if it was personal. Just disorganised.

You've made your point. Give in with good grace.