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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I an evil mother?

98 replies

Tutteredboast · 29/12/2014 11:54

Sitting in a plane waiting to take off. DD and DH are sitting together. I am one extra seat away by the window. It's not busy, so the seat in between is vacant. Have just had two stewardesses with arms folded looking pityingly at DD saying, you can move, we just thought you may prefer to sit with your child.
Am I evil to want to look out of the window and sip wine today?

OP posts:
Quitethewoodsman · 29/12/2014 14:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bigbluestars · 29/12/2014 14:14

"and quite frankly to get a grip. I loathe the clingy stage kids go through."

Charming.

AmIthatHot · 29/12/2014 14:14

Definitely not BU

Can't believe a pp thinks you're being "rude".

minitoot · 29/12/2014 14:15

You are not an evilmother. These stewardesses clearly don't have children :)

Quitethewoodsman · 29/12/2014 14:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 29/12/2014 14:19

Tell them it's your Birthday and hope they move you to First Class.

It's a seat away, not a different destination...though....

Lweji · 29/12/2014 14:20

She is in good company with her dad and you are having some nice you time.
If you feel the need for company you can always go to the cramped space between the two.
In their place I'd want the extra space too.

I bet they wouldn't looking disapprovingly at your OH if he was sitting in your place.

Number3cometome · 29/12/2014 14:23

NickiFury I wouldn't say critical, more that your post comes across as being quite saracastic:

'I wouldn't do it but I do actually like being with my kids especially on special occasions'

Yeah we all like spending time with our kids, we just don't want to be attached to them all of the time.

PowderMum · 29/12/2014 14:23

OP you haven't said how old your DD is, not that it is really relevant and I am sure if it was the other way around the pressure wouldn't be on your DH to sit in the empty seat.
I have 2 DC and always let them sit with daddy whilst I sat across the aisle or elsewhere on the plane.
My DC are regular flyers and actually prefer to sit away from their parents now, in fact I remember a few years ago when DD2 was under 10 on a transatlantic flight that DH didn't make so there was a spare seat (2 by window) and she chose these seats, DD1 and I were a couple of rows infront. I had to explain to the aircrew that she was with me before they were happy.

Number3cometome · 29/12/2014 14:23

saracastic - sarcastic obviously haha

Aeroflotgirl · 29/12/2014 14:25

Op is on the same blooming row as her dd, not in a different part of the aircraft Hmm. There is just a seat in the middle free, that can be used for spare magazines and items. enjoy it op, your fine Xmas Smile

NickiFury · 29/12/2014 14:26

Not sarcastic. Just truthful.

BitOutOfPractice · 29/12/2014 14:29

OP how very dare you think of yourself as a separate sensient being from your children. How dare you think you might enjoy yourself being three feet away from the fruit of your loins. Selfish selfish mother*

*the exact opposite of what I think

Enjoy your flight (I LOVE flying alone! Makes me feel very gown up!) and happy birthday Thanks

Carrierpenguin · 29/12/2014 14:32

You're not evil but I do find it a bit odd.

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 29/12/2014 14:34

This is such a non issue that I'm surprised that a) the stewardess commented and b) you've started a thread about it. One seat away?? We flew to Spain when DD was 10 months old and had a seat spare between us. She started the journey off on my knee then I passed her over to DH half way through while I had a rest. Would have been very surprised if anyone had thought to comment on there being a vacant seat in the middle of us.

TotallySociallyInept · 29/12/2014 14:41

You evil poor excuse for a mother! A whole seat away? Get a grip and move to the empty seat before you scare and traumatise your poor poor dd. So the rest of her life she will have to go to counselling. Because you yes you OP abandoned her to sit with the other unworthy members of your family, and don't for Gods sake think that your DD should have to move to that empty vast expanse of seat to be nearer you if she so feels like it. You must and should move to her. I really don't know how you could contemplate not moving. You should hang your head in shame.

(disclaimer. Completely )

PhaedraIsMyName · 29/12/2014 14:41

Planes can be cold, they are sometimes nervous, or like to hold my hand with excitement.
We like to look out of the window together and talk about what we can see.
It's all part of enjoying family time on a holiday

Or like my son who quickly became blasé about flying and plugged in earphones/went to sleep.

As for talking about what you can see out of the window, there is a limit to what one can say about clouds.

As for being nervous/cold presumably OP's daughter isn't and her husband is equally capable of dealing with it.

fredfredgeorgejnr · 29/12/2014 14:53

I do think it's bad to say you'd never do it, it's rude to the other parent, suggesting they are not good enough (in the nervous / cold scenario's), or it's pointlessly cramping everyone up if everyone needs to be cuddling up in a crowd.

Lweji · 29/12/2014 15:00

This is such a non issue that I'm surprised that a) the stewardess commented and b) you've started a thread about it.

The OP clearly had some unwarranted extra time on her hands due to abandoning her child to her useless dad before being forced to switch off contact with the outside world.

andsmileimontherightpath · 29/12/2014 15:05

Clearly they think that your DH is incapable of looking after your DD and that as the female you should be doing all the parenting.

Its pathetic really if you applied that principle of never being more than a few feet away from your child we'd all be humping them around on our shoulders to toilet/shops/work etc. I personally have been to the gym today aways from my two - they were fine with their DF while I was gone.

When we went on a transatlantic flight we sat int he middle aisle of four seats DH and I on outside. My DD say next to me and DS was on the other side next to DH. He was fine being one seat away from me.

Get a grip of that wine a drink it woman.

ihearttc · 29/12/2014 15:28

I must be a really really bad mum then...I left my 2 year old in Economy with DH on his first ever flight and went upstairs to Business Class with DS1 for a 7 hour flight.

And do you know what it was absolute bliss-I watched a film, chatted to DS1 who was 8 and had some champagne!

Viviennemary · 29/12/2014 15:32

Are you sitting in the seat you have booked. If not then YABU.

ConfusedInBath · 29/12/2014 15:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

woowoo22 · 29/12/2014 15:40

Eh? Surely you are further away when (eg) making dinner and they are playing in the living room?

Did the folk really comment?

bigbluestars · 29/12/2014 15:44

"Have just had two stewardesses with arms folded looking pityingly at DD saying, you can move, we just thought you may prefer to sit with your child. "

I don't believe it. Two "stewards with arms folded looking pityingly"

Yeah right. I'd switch to a soft drink OP.