To be stressing out over my unfortunate post - marriage name??

[Shande80]

DP and I are getting married in May 2016. The combination of my first name and his second name gives the same name as an undesirable soap opera character. I've already had sniggers and jokes and one person (who wasn't aware of my situation) joked "hey wouldn't it be funny if you married someone with the surname *** oh how awful would that be!" .

The was I see it I have three options ...

1. Grin and bear it ... For years ... And years ... And years ...
2. Not change my second name which would be a shame as I'd like us to have the same name and this option would not go down well with his family. Plus his ex wife still has his surname which would make it seem even worse that I didn't iykwim??
3. Change my first name. I've always hated the fucker anyway but I can imagine it being a right faff on trying to get everyone on board.

It's stressing me out and I don't even watch the bloody program.

Choose a different surname and both change them?

ditto, Pearlgirl

Just don't change your name, why should you anyway.

I feel left out that I don't know a Wendy House.

I like the idea of a new name for both of you. Make it something glamourous like Santiago or De La Rochefoucauld.

Don't change your name.
You are getting married to make a lifelong commitment to him. What your name is doesn't make any difference to how married you are, or how much you live him.
It's quite common to keep your own name these days.
Or could you double barrel it but keep that just for paperwork. By which I mean you both become Mr and Mrs Smith-Barlow but you introduce yourself as Tracy Smith and he does as John Barlow. You only use your full name when filling out forms, on passports, driving licenses etc.
I have done much the same. The name I use everyday is different to the one on my marriage certificate. I don't think anyone other than very close family know my name on my marriage certificate. In fact my passport etc are in my 'everyday' name.

Princess conswala bannanahammock

I vote don't change it

OR

Change your first name (or add one on as a hyphen, i.e. Rose becomes Rose-Marie or something)

OR

get him to change (so what if it's a bit usual)

OR

double barrel (he can do it too, so you both have the same surname)

... don't just change it and bear it. i worked with a woman a few years ago whose first name and married name were a "joke" combination (think "Mary Christmas"-type combo, hard to miss), and it was embarassing. this was head of department in a senior position and in the end she started introducing herself as Margaret instead, esp on conference calls, basically changing it albeit not via a formal deed poll. i felt sorry for her.

If you hated your first name enough to change it you would have done so by now, surely? If your in laws think TB is a brilliant name, let them change their names to it. I'd leave your name as it is. I'd only change to match a spouse if I had an awful name and they had an amazing one.

I kept my maiden name and DH and I have kind of, never drawn his parents attention to it. They send letters addressed to Mr and Mrs DH and it doesn't matter because I never say anything. Once they sent a cheque to us both but DH just said could they rewrite it in his name because we don't have a joint account (true). We seem to have got away with it for quite a long time yet work, friends and the bank etc. know me as my maiden name.

I think it's do-able without making a big deal of it assuming your DH would be okay with it. I'm happy to be Mrs DH when it suits so long as it's an occasion that doesn't require sight of my passport!

If my married name had the potential to have been amusing, I wouldn't have changed it.

As an aside, his ex wife doesn't still have "his" surname, it is hers.

If you hate your first name anyway, change that.

Why bother changing your name?

You say not changing your name would not go down well with the inlaws, but it's nothing to do with them.

You say you'd like you and your DP to have the same name. I've never changed my name in 28 years and it's never bothered anyone, even my DCs, in the slightest that I don't have the same name as the rest of the family.

And if he doesn't want to change his name, then why should you?

I don't understand why you are not considering just adding his surname to the end of yours, so you become (avoiding real names ) Mavis Johnson Riley.

Just don't change your name.

You don't have to.
I haven't

Don't change your name

Or

Double barrell your surname.

I took DH's name but always wish I had just stuck with my name. I used to hate my surname and loved the change for about a month, but then got fed up with having to spell out both forename and surname all the time. At least people had spelt my maiden name correctly.

I want to change it back but DH gets a major case of the sulks whenever I mention it.

If your DH won't change his name or double barrell it, he has no right to complain if you just keep your current name.

I really can't see the problem with being called Tracy Barlow. She is a fictional TV character.

I could understand it if you were called Rosemary and your future surname was West.

My married name is amusing , but people remember you

Anyway you will get the best tables in restaurants < helpful >

Just out of interest has his first wife kept his name because they have DC?

I've never heard of Tracy Barlow and so not everyne has.
Even if the character is very famous I doubt she will be for ever.

Whilst the character is semi 'well known' now she won't always be?

I don't see a big deal although not wanting to change your surname is something quite different and perfectly reasonable

Hopping. I haven't watched 'Corrie' in 25 years but I know who she is granted then she 'went upstairs to play her tapes' and didn't come back down for 3 years.

Hopping I am a soap hater and only know characters from the era of my first marriage to a soap addict 15 years ago. Sad to say, Tracey Barlow seems to have longevity.