To be stressing out over my unfortunate post - marriage name??

[Shande80]

DP and I are getting married in May 2016. The combination of my first name and his second name gives the same name as an undesirable soap opera character. I've already had sniggers and jokes and one person (who wasn't aware of my situation) joked "hey wouldn't it be funny if you married someone with the surname *** oh how awful would that be!" .

The was I see it I have three options ...

1. Grin and bear it ... For years ... And years ... And years ...
   
2. Not change my second name which would be a shame as I'd like us to have the same name and this option would not go down well with his family. Plus his ex wife still has his surname which would make it seem even worse that I didn't iykwim??
   
3. Change my first name. I've always hated the fucker anyway but I can imagine it being a right faff on trying to get everyone on board.
   

It's stressing me out and I don't even watch the bloody program.

[Pipbin]

Why would someone do that to a child? It's not like it was something that was invented in recent years.

[MrSheen]

I've just looked mine on my old club website to see if she has changed her name in the past 20 years and I'm wrong!

She's called Wendy Howes. I guess I've never seen it written down before.

It's still ridiculous. It's literally the only name that doesn't go with Howes.

[ShesARumUn]

I know a Wendy House too! Not sure if she was born with the surname or it was a result of marriage though.

[Ineedsleepplease]

I kept my name. In-laws and some others call me Mrs Hisname and I don't mind or correct them. Everyone else calls me by by own name. I don't feel any less married for keeping my name. I like my surname and didn't like his. Kids have both names but we always say they can choose to use either or both, we won't mind.

[Andrewofgg]

Mine was definitely House!

[Zebrasinpyjamas]

My bro has the same name as a famous but embarrassing singer (as prolific as Madonna) but with some high profile legal prosecutions. He used to get sick of the jokes about his name as a teenager but just shrugs it off now. Once he stop caring, any jokes fell rather flat if people made them.

If you don't want to change your name then don't do it. However, I was initially a bit resistant to changing my name when I married ( it felt a bit archaic) but it was important to my DH so I did. Now I really like it as I feel it binds us together somehow, especially with the dc. I would do it again even if I ended up with a combination where I got comments from strangers.

Minor upside is at least you won't spend ages spelling your name when making bookings etc unhelpful

[FryOneFatManic]

I'm legally Mrs Hisname

No, you're not. Taking a husband's surname is a social convention in the UK, nothing more. Your legal name is the name you were before getting married, whether that's a birth name or a name changed by deed poll.

It's accepted in the UK that women change their names on marriage but actually the marriage does not confer any legal rights in using the name. The marriage ceremony, and marriage certificate, does not at any time refer to women changing their names

You are simply known as Mrs HisName. A courtesy title.

[Bellerina2]

Don't worry Zebra, Cliff isn't his real name - its Harry Webb!

[RufusTheReindeer]

fry

I'm really confused (not difficult )

I though that the marriage certificate was a legal document through which you could change your name legally

So you change the name on your passport (legal document) using your marriage certificate (legal document)

Haven't really thought about it before but it's interesting what you say

[Anydrinkwilldo]

Well it could be worse, my names first name married name rhyme. I had to spell my first name always and now I have to spell them both. Double barrelling wasn't an option for me I just sucked it up and changed it, it was what I wanted (to share the family name - not to have a rhyming name lol)

[Pipbin]

So you change the name on your passport (legal document) using your marriage certificate (legal document)

I used my marriage certificate to change my passport. My marriage certificate is not in English and does not show my married name as the name I use, it follows the local name convention. My passport is in the name that I use which follows English convention.
My bank account, mortgage, qualifications, driving licence etc are all in the name I use, which is not the name on my marriage certificate.

[nickeljrismybabesitter]

FryOne
You are legally whatever name you choose to use as your name.
Uk law is that you are the name you use.
So, if a person says they are legally mrs hisname, that's true if that person uses that name as their name.
if they don't use that name as their name, but accept it as a name their relatives call her, then that's not her legal name, that's just a nickname she accepts.

[kennyp]

i've never watched coronation street and have never heard of tracy barlow. although i have heard of ken and deidre.

helpful

[nickeljrismybabesitter]

Rufus you're right.
Uk law doesn't even require proof - it's rather useful to have a paper trail, but if I decided tomorrow that my name was going to be talullah umbridge, all I have to do by law is tell people and start using it.

[kennyp]

i worked with a man years ago called bob gibson (not his real name)
his girlfriend was called shirley gibson
so when he proposed to shirley gibson, shirley didn't have to change her passport etc etc.

even more helpful

[nickeljrismybabesitter]

Pipbin but presumably it shows the name you've decided to use (ie your husband's surname). All it is is a document that backs you up - "I've decided to change my name. I've chosen this name and this is why"

[Ohfourfoxache]

My parents had planned to call me Samantha but changed their minds when they met me.

I'm bloody thankful they did - my married surname is Fox!

sorry op not helpful

[CassieBearRawr]

So don't change it. If he gets angry about it you have bigger problems than a name. If his family get angry about it they're a bit stuffed - because it's nothing to do with them.

I always liked the idea of my husband changing his name to mine but then of course I shacked up with someone who goes by his surname So we just use our own names and always will.

[Boiing]

1. Have the same surname as your husband, it's nice and less confusing for family. If there is an easy way to combine your names (I knew a Mr East and as Ms Woods who both became the Eastwoods) you could do that, or pick something new together. If not, change your first name given that you don't like it. Just make sure that you end up with a name you like. Do you have a middle name you could use?
   

1. The marriage certificate absolutely is a legal document and can change your name, but it doesn't have to. The way it works is, after you've got married, you tell people whether you are using your husband's name or not. If you are using his name, you show the marriage certificate to banks, utility providers etc and tell them that you are now using your husband's name. They then change their records. (The person who said it's just a courtesy title is wrong). If you decide to keep your old name, you don't have to do anything, just carry on using it. If you decide to use any other name, you have to change it by deed poll. I researched all this when I got married. By the way ask the church/council for several duplicates of the marriage certificate as these will be useful later.
   

Anyway congratulations! Have a great wedding and marriage! Don't worry about it all too much!

xxx

[Pipbin]

Nickel. It has DH's full name on it and my unmarried name. It then says that my surname will be different to DH's in line with local custom. (Local custom is to feminise the surname with a suffix)

[Hakluyt]

1. Have the same surname as your husband, it's nice and less confusing for family"
   

Why would it be "confusing" for the family if she keeps her name??

[drbadbride]

It would be confusing to anyone who was exceptionally thick. No-one else will have a problem with it.

[PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom]

Do you want to share a name with your DH. If so, I would double barrell or come up with a new family name. Otherwise just keep yours.

[EmilyGilmore]

Why do women still feel the need to change their name upon marriage? Just keep your own. You are still that person.

[YonicSleighdriver]

Keep your name and double barrell your kids.