Back story to avoid drip feeding:
I'm in my early 30's. Throughout my teens and 20s I've struggled with body image and self esteem. I've overcome an eating disorder that I had for ten years and cost me some of my real teeth. When I got pregnant at 27, I really wanted a boy. The only reason I wanted a boy is because I didn't want to have a little girl who would end up a socially awkward, self loathing, anxious person like me. However, I had a beautiful little girl. I was, and still am, terrified that I might pass on my crazy to her. I never want her to go through what I put myself through. I love her so much, the thought if her suffering is unbearable. So, I resolved that I would fix myself, stop messing around with food and start setting a good example for my little girl. I'm a wobbly size 10-12. My butt is 10 inches bigger than my small waist, making me completely out of proportion meanjng clothes shopping has always been a nightmare. However, after spending a life time 'changing' myself and getting nowhere, I decided to stop. I started dressing to suit myself rather than trying to follow fashion. I now live in black tights and flare from the waist dresses. Not cutting edge fashion but they flatter my figure. I only do exercise that I enjoy. I accept compliments with a 'thank you' rather than make a self deprecating comment. I try and think positively about every aspect of myself. I speak positively about myself in front of my daughter - by which I mean, I ask dh if I look nice rather than if I look fat. After 3 years of sheer determined effort to just like myself, warts and all, I finally do. I am, at last, happy with the imperfect, never going to be a beauty queen, person who stares back at me. I'm a nice person, a good mum, a hard working and professional woman. I'm setting a good example for my dd and I make the best of myself. I'm happy. Genuinely happy with who I am and how I look.
However, at a Christmas party yesterday, I was talking to some other women who asked about New Years resolutions. They all talked about wanting to lose weight/ juice cleanse/hit the gym and I didn't say anything. One of them asked me directly and I said I didn't really have any. One of the other women said 'why, are you that perfect already?' In a jokey way. I laughed and said 'pretty much'. To which another woman, quite shocked, asked if I was serious. I said of course not, I just didn't feel like I wanted to change anything, to which she then said 'ah so you are just too lazy to change then?' Backtracking and a bit embarrassed l told them the 'back story' story above, about my ed and how I wanted to be a good role model for my dd. Only for the juice cleanser girl to say that she could never be 'that conceited'. Surely it isn't conceited to be happy with yourself? I can't believe that I am the only woman who feels like they like themselves, surely?