To think being happy with yourself doesn't make you conceited?

[LokiBear]

Back story to avoid drip feeding:
I'm in my early 30's. Throughout my teens and 20s I've struggled with body image and self esteem. I've overcome an eating disorder that I had for ten years and cost me some of my real teeth. When I got pregnant at 27, I really wanted a boy. The only reason I wanted a boy is because I didn't want to have a little girl who would end up a socially awkward, self loathing, anxious person like me. However, I had a beautiful little girl. I was, and still am, terrified that I might pass on my crazy to her. I never want her to go through what I put myself through. I love her so much, the thought if her suffering is unbearable. So, I resolved that I would fix myself, stop messing around with food and start setting a good example for my little girl. I'm a wobbly size 10-12. My butt is 10 inches bigger than my small waist, making me completely out of proportion meanjng clothes shopping has always been a nightmare. However, after spending a life time 'changing' myself and getting nowhere, I decided to stop. I started dressing to suit myself rather than trying to follow fashion. I now live in black tights and flare from the waist dresses. Not cutting edge fashion but they flatter my figure. I only do exercise that I enjoy. I accept compliments with a 'thank you' rather than make a self deprecating comment. I try and think positively about every aspect of myself. I speak positively about myself in front of my daughter - by which I mean, I ask dh if I look nice rather than if I look fat. After 3 years of sheer determined effort to just like myself, warts and all, I finally do. I am, at last, happy with the imperfect, never going to be a beauty queen, person who stares back at me. I'm a nice person, a good mum, a hard working and professional woman. I'm setting a good example for my dd and I make the best of myself. I'm happy. Genuinely happy with who I am and how I look.

However, at a Christmas party yesterday, I was talking to some other women who asked about New Years resolutions. They all talked about wanting to lose weight/ juice cleanse/hit the gym and I didn't say anything. One of them asked me directly and I said I didn't really have any. One of the other women said 'why, are you that perfect already?' In a jokey way. I laughed and said 'pretty much'. To which another woman, quite shocked, asked if I was serious. I said of course not, I just didn't feel like I wanted to change anything, to which she then said 'ah so you are just too lazy to change then?' Backtracking and a bit embarrassed l told them the 'back story' story above, about my ed and how I wanted to be a good role model for my dd. Only for the juice cleanser girl to say that she could never be 'that conceited'. Surely it isn't conceited to be happy with yourself? I can't believe that I am the only woman who feels like they like themselves, surely?

Agree Karma about the maths. Actually I am average at maths but I can bloody do sums!!!

I think it extends to generally being intelligent. You are supposed to hide your light under a bushell. It's ok for men to brag though! There is a weird pride in being stupid or thick and an anti-intellectualism in some circles. Not all, it depends on the crowd.

Agree with other posters that this is a giant YANBU - and just to add that of course you don't need to justify not feeling bad about yourself to other people by bringing up the backstory -- those mean ladies would have been BU even if they were picking on someone who had never had any body issues in their life. (But the fact that they continued after you explained does make it especially .) to you OP, and congratulations on what you have achieved getting to where you are.

Agree they're totally jealous. Fuck them!

Also agree with your NY resolution being to avoid them like the plague.

They sound like awful bitches.

You sound bloody fantastic.

Yanbu! They are nasty women who will fail on their extreme diet and exercise plans before the end of january. You made life style and thought process changes. In feb when theyve stopped going to the gym and put back on the 3lb they lost in jan, ask if they are too lazy to change properly.

Yanbu at all, its not conceited one little bit to be happy the way you are and to suit yourself instead of following the crowd. Sensible I would think. I feel the same, I am a size 12, would love to be smaller, but that involves loosing about 2 stone, which is unrealistic as I want to enjoy life and food, not to constantly calorie count. I try to keep fit, I exercise about 40-45 mins a day of cardio workouts, and try to watch what I eat. Good on you I say.