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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what is the rudest thing a friend or relative has ever done at a meal out?

279 replies

BallsforEarings · 27/12/2014 15:50

When out at a meal with a bunch of friends, my ex-friend (never popular -known for rudeness!) once asked if she could taste my chilli con carne, I said 'of course' and she proceeded to take a huge forkful and then pronounce loudly 'UGGHHH!! That is SHIT'.

I was left to 'enjoy' the rest of my chilli after that!

Anyone got/had a friend/relative with worse manners?

OP posts:
Custardcream14 · 29/12/2014 14:59

When some friends refused (but didn't say, it was seen by one member of the group) to pay the added on tip so we all had to add more to make it up. It was very rude as they didn't admit it, although everyone had added up their portion multiple times.

PIVOT · 29/12/2014 14:59

Used to be friends with someone who would take the cash everyone had put together for the meal including tip and then put it on his card with no tip, thus getting a free meal essentially.

A boss who would reach over to try your dinner without asking and because he was such a bastard, it was hard to reprimand him. I'd be okay with friends/family having a try, I usually offer, but we weren't there yet. The same boss who was a stickler for certain wines.

Was once in a pub with a group of people, I ate not everyone did. People are pinching my leftover chips (fine). One girl picked up my plate and licked the gravy off it. She wasn't pissed and she didn't know me that well.

ZombieApocalypse · 29/12/2014 15:19

Invited a friend and her DH out for lunch. We'd agreed beforehand that they wouldn't bring their three kids so table was booked for four. She called me on the way to the restaurant to say that they were bringing the kids after all plus her SIL to look after them. Frantically tried to call restaurant but it was busy and popular so they couldn't even move us but charmingly agreed to try and accommodate us as best as they could.

Got to restaurant, they arrived clearly having had a domestic in the car as there was An Atmosphere and SIL had a face like a smacked arse. Friend proceeds to unload a HUGE bag of toys at the table which we are all squashed in at and allow the kids, all under 6, to run about the restaurant yelling and throwing toys. The SIL complained about everything that was put in front of her, both to us and to the waiting staff. It was mortifying. Everyone else was glaring at us and friend was totally oblivious.

The icing on the cake was friend's DH refusing to stay for dessert or even coffee, then putting the exact amount they owed on the table minus any allowance for tip. Just awful.

TheLastNameLeft · 29/12/2014 15:29

My Dad and his DW came to stay with us once. My Dh cooked up a gorgeous roast pork with crackling done to perfection. Dad proceeded to nick bits of crackling off other peoples plates during the meal and everyone was too WTF to say anything, he thought it was funny aswell!

This is the man who also went out for an Indian meal with one of his best mates and stabbed him in the hand with his fork when he tried to pinch something off his plate

CatWreathkeith · 29/12/2014 16:10

WyldChyld we were at a gorgeous Spanish restaurant in Southend but I think it's closed down now. :(

WyldChyld · 29/12/2014 16:15

Thanks for this Cat - unfortunately, I'm a northern Wyldling so it's a bit far for a paella (no matter how delicious). Oh well - that's an excuse for a holiday right there!

scortja · 29/12/2014 16:33

Has anyone posted this, the finest tripadvisor review of all time, yet?

its not very goodes”
1 of 5 starsReviewed 14 December 2010
i went ot this restaurant with my frends and the service was discreaseful my frends was drunk and hit her head of your tables and your staff didnt ask if she was allright they then brought use the wrong cake and my frenid was very upset and wet her self

I kind of wish that fishyy and her incontinent friend were my friends or relatives..

Glittery7 · 29/12/2014 17:29

First date. Him suggesting me tried to do a runner after a very pleasant meal.

ZombieApocalypse · 29/12/2014 17:43

I think I may have posted about this before too, but a relative of DH's drank and ate about three times as much as everyone else, stuck him with the bill for a family meal, then tried to steal the tip we left in cash. I spotted him and stopped it, but WTF.

EvenBetter · 29/12/2014 18:43

I've worked in hospitality for 15 years and have had some horrible experiences. People smearing their poo all over the place, homeless men passed out under tables, armed robbery, customers treating you like pure shit, customers being really fucking annoying but the worst is being sexually harassed at work.
Memorable ones include a man who bellowed 'SMILE' across the shop, after clicking his fingers and bellowing I realised it was me he was ordering to perform for him and his cronies and went onto say he knew the owner and would have me out of a job because my smile wasn't up to standard. (I wasn't even serving him, I was walking around, metres away)

Last week a golfy type man (golfer, w.a.s.p. Freemason type) said 'I'll have the chicken, and a SNOG..because those lips of yours look beaut! Ha ha ha.'

If you have someone who likes to demean and sexually intimidate women on minimum wage please keep them in check if you insist on taking the fuckers out in public.

ThereMustAndShallBeTea · 29/12/2014 18:48

Group meal with then kind of boyfriend and his friends (men and wimen). When we got to pudding, all the boys ordered creme caramel then put their hands behind their backs and had a race to see who could finish first without using cutlery. I was fucking mortified.

WeeFreeKings · 29/12/2014 19:03

Bogey thank you! I think I finally understand the difference. She does actually drink Martini rather than martinis so why doesn't she ask for Martini vermouth?? I think she accidentally gets gin which is why my FIL ends up drinking it sometimes as he likes gin. I also think she just likes to play the martyr. Thank you though Flowers

trowelmonkey1 · 29/12/2014 19:16

Many years ago we were on a family holiday with my grandparents in Portugal. We were having a lovely dinner when a German couple came in. My grandfather starts making being loud and obnoxious about people from Germany and then refers to the German couple as "Nazis". We were mortified!

May09Bump · 29/12/2014 19:27

My ex-friend started playing a Chinese person - talking in fake accent, pulling eyes into a slant. It was my Birthday and in a Chinese restaurant. She had never been racist before, so total shock. Restaurant owners were Chinese and friends of ours. I called her on her racist behaviour and she stomped out with another friend, we apologised to the owners and asked them whether we should leave. They were unbelievably great about it and joined our party for a drink.

I never talked to her again, I was quite heavily pregnant at the time and I wouldn't want our family in contact with someone like her.

BoyFromTheBigBadCity · 29/12/2014 21:01

I worked in a cheap and cheerful pub for many years. The shit you get is incredible. My (sadly late) manager was incredible though - if she clocked a man being sexist or anything she would not allow you to serve him, and if she saw it or thought it was beyond the pale she'd send in our assistant manager, who was a marine and while was lovely could give you a thousand yard stare.

I'd like to just add, there are may people who are LOVELY. I have had guests apologise for the behaviour of others in their group, and it makes a difference. I've had people be kind when you're clearly stressed. I've had people jut be genuinely grateful for your service. We have several regular who treat the staff like family - buy the whole team (including the kitchen, who you never see since they're upstairs) a little Christmas gift etc.

Leela5 · 30/12/2014 09:15

I worked in hospitality for years. I've seen everything from a girl crouching to have a wee in the restaurant to a man throwing a steak at me because the replacement steak I'd served him (for the one he'd said wasn't done the way he liked it) 'came out far too fast to be new so you must have washed the sauce off the old one and given me it again'. Tried to explain about the way a professional busy kitchen works and that we'd simply given him the next medium steak that was ready, but he told me to fuck off.

His friend later apologised and slipped me £50

bachsingingmum · 30/12/2014 10:58

Our young trainee organised our group Christmas meal. Based on previous experience I'd advised her to make sure she got the money from everyone (including tip) for the pre-ordered meal beforehand. She paid the 10 a head deposit then collected it from everyone, except one quite senior member of staff, who has a reputation for never carrying cash, buying a round etc etc. After asking several times she put a PS at the bottom of a group email naming and shaming. This resulted in one boss telling him off in private about being cheap at the expense of someone paid so much less than him, and another boss paying his 10 and in answer to the email copied to everyone, saying he was charging interest at 1 a day. Said individual was the first to pay his balance.

Bogeyface · 30/12/2014 12:40

weefree Vermouth and tonic sounds rank!

You can now cheerfully tell her that if she orders Martini and Tonic and gets gin in it then the bar staff are correct and that she should order Vermouth and Tonic next time. Is she aspirational middle class by any chance? Could be a nice PA dig if she is, and thinks of herself as better than the staff serving her, she wont like that they know more than she does :o

Although reading not so between the lines, she seems to prefer it when they get it wrong so she can act all injured about it!

Littledragon13 · 30/12/2014 12:54

weefree your MIL sounds exactly like my SIL when we go out. DP and I won't go out for meals with her anyone because she is so bloody rude to staff. How my brother bites his tongue I do not know, he isn't one to mince his words and would quickly tell anyone else to pipe down!

Idontseeanysontarans · 30/12/2014 13:05

Working as a restaurant manager in a local pub we once had some arrogant tosser showing off to his female companion by being as rude as possible to the waitress. He tried to summon her by clicking his fingers in the air so I stood directly in his eyeline so he could see me preventing her from waiting his table. He got no service whatsoever until he remembered his manners and asked politely for the bill.
Unprofessional maybe but waiting staff get treated like shit far too much.

StrawberryCheese · 30/12/2014 13:10

The first time I met DH's mum and sister, their family friend sprinkled pepper onto my ice cream Confused

Gruntfuttock · 30/12/2014 14:03

Leela5 "I've seen everything from a girl crouching to have a wee in the restaurant"

WTF? What did you do when you saw this and how old was she?

Gruntfuttock · 30/12/2014 14:04

StrawberryCheese Did the friend think this was funny? What did you do?

Bogeyface · 30/12/2014 14:06

grunt I have seen a guy piss under the table in a bar, just asked H who used to be a relief manager in pubs and he says it happens far more often than you would think.

Some people are just utterly disgusting.

Leela5 · 30/12/2014 14:07

grunt she was in her 20s, very glam dressed but pissed and had no idea where she was - it was also a bar so she thought she'd found a quiet corner to do her business. Unfortunately it was an area of restaurant tables with cctv camera pointing straight at her. She was swiftly escorted from the restaurant!