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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to tell SIL that I am exchanging her gift, and why?

95 replies

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 27/12/2014 13:12

SIL bought be a set of pjs for Christmas. They are huge. She said "I always buy my pjs a size up so they are comfy so Ive done the same for you". They are a size 18, and I am a 12.

I will exchange them (though they are christmas themed so they may not have any left in my size in that pattern - will swap for a different set if needs be), but do I tell her? And do I tell her why?

She probably wont see me in pjs so I dont have to tell her, but fgs I seriously do not look like a size 16. And if I dont mention the size, what if she then continues to buy extra large pjs? The bottoms fell down as soon as I let go of them!

OP posts:

Original poster

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 27/12/2014 18:36

Nope, no waist ties. They are a fleece material with elasticated waist so crotch sweatingly I would have to fold over the waistband twice or so.

OP posts:

LadySlatternlysHoover · 27/12/2014 18:45

There's a possibility she did her Xmas shopping very early (when you were still pregnant) and got a bigger size to be on the safe side.

I would casually mention that you exchanged them as they were too big.

Muddlewitch · 27/12/2014 19:00

You say she is about the same size as you, and she said she buys them for herself in bigger sizes, so presumably she bought them the same size as she buys for herself? So not nasty I don't think.

As mentioned upthread, PJs are often sold in size ranges so it could be that the next one down is 12-14 and she genuinely thought she was getting the next size up.

If she is the same size as you and has said she buys them big for herself I can't see how she would be being horrible, perhaps she gets hers from somewhere the sizes come up small and so automatically bought the same size she usually buys herself for you, but they have come up big from wherever she got them.

Flangeshrub · 27/12/2014 19:02

I'm a 12 and buy myself pjs in an 18 for comfort, I probably would for someone else too.

I must be such a bitch because being an 18 is the worst possible thing a woman can be...

Annietheacrobat · 27/12/2014 19:06

DP's family always send him large clothing. He is quite trim and obviously not a large. It's such a waste as they send it all the way from Australia and it ends up in the charity shop. I don't think there is any hidden agenda though.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 27/12/2014 19:17

I'd rather be a size 16 than a mahoosive dick.

Not talking about OP here.

nooka · 27/12/2014 19:18

Not sure why this is such a huge deal. Swop the jammies for a smaller size and let the SIL know. Sizing is always a risk with clothes. I'd not be offended to get something in the wrong size, just a bit sad that it didn't fit., and a bit surprised if it was wildly wrong. Likewise if I bought something for a family member, I'd rather they changed it and let me know than gave it away and never told me.

This year I bought ds jammies in two sizes because I wasn't sure which ones he fit. I don't think he was offended by the ones that were too small, we're just going to swop them. Really no big deal.

YesIDidMeanToBeSoRudeActually · 27/12/2014 19:26

Usual, everyone knows the way to work out if a gift is actually a passive aggressive little dig instead, is if it came from the in laws

hehehahahoho · 27/12/2014 19:26

OP, the text that you suggested down thread is perfect. It's polite and friendly. I'd send it (or similar) andnot worry about it.

Mehitabel6 · 27/12/2014 19:29

No big deal- just swap- why would you need to mention it?

Trills · 27/12/2014 19:36

I don't see why it is a big deal to say

I've exchanged those pyjamas because they didn't fit

and even

They didn't have the same style left so I got blue ones instead.

If she really thought that was the best size for you, it's a reasonable and polite response.

If she was deliberately insulting you by buying much-too-big pyjamas, being reasonable and polite is still the best policy.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 27/12/2014 19:49

I wouldn't bother telling her tbh. Does she buy you many clothes?
Not even sure I cba to exchange.

kali110 · 27/12/2014 19:57

Agree with you there fanjo!

Stripyhoglets · 27/12/2014 19:58

Just exchange and say nothing, but mention nearer Chritstmas next time that you exchanged them for a smaller size so if she buys PJs again could she get you a size 12 or 14 (whichever size you like your pjs to be) my mil bought mine too small as she bough my actual size so I had to ask her to buy bigger!

divingoffthebalcony · 27/12/2014 20:00

I can see why you'd WANT to tell her (cheeky cah!) but it's probably best to exchange them and say nothing.

Bulbasaur · 27/12/2014 20:23

This is why I give gift cards when it comes to clothes. I am crap at guessing sizes and sometimes people lie about what size they are.

timetoplay · 27/12/2014 20:52

I wouldn't mention unless she asks, which if she is snipy she may well. Then I'd just smile and say, 'yes I exchanged them, I'm a 12 so they were too big.'

EddieStobbart · 27/12/2014 20:54

Sorry, in a rush and haven't read through the thread but my DM does this and it pisses me right off. She's always done it and I think it's part of the reason I have a tendency to think I am chunkier than I actually am.

EddieStobbart · 27/12/2014 20:59

I do tell her though - it makes sweet FA difference. If she bought me random crap that I wouldn't wear anyway I wouldn't mind so much (except for her wasting her money) but she sometimes buys me something nice and she's obviously given it some thought so it seems a real shame not to be able to wear because it's masseevo.

AlwaysHoldingOnToStars · 27/12/2014 21:02

My bloody DH did this to me one Christmas!

I was size 14 at the time - he got me size 20-22. Because I liked them big! Not that big, they did the same as yours OP, fell down!

I took them back and exchanged them. And he's lucky I found it amusing rather than upsetting.

I'm a size 16 now and he bought me size 14/16 this year. That's better!

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