to tell SIL that I am exchanging her gift, and why?

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

SIL bought be a set of pjs for Christmas. They are huge. She said "I always buy my pjs a size up so they are comfy so Ive done the same for you". They are a size 18, and I am a 12.

I will exchange them (though they are christmas themed so they may not have any left in my size in that pattern - will swap for a different set if needs be), but do I tell her? And do I tell her why?

She probably wont see me in pjs so I dont have to tell her, but fgs I seriously do not look like a size 16. And if I dont mention the size, what if she then continues to buy extra large pjs? The bottoms fell down as soon as I let go of them!

[CrohnicChristmas]

glorious did she get confused and think they were children's age 18 rather than adult size 18?

[glorious]

Good thought but I doubt it because I was about 13 at the time (and short).

[LapsedTwentysomething]

I get where you're coming from OP. My aunts are all very proud of their slim figures (8-10) and as a size 12 early 20-something I always used to feel judged. One aunt would insist on giving me stuff in size L which I found pretty offensive. These days I'm a 16 so it would fit! Couldn't exchange as they were old stock.

Same person also bought size 20 for someone of size 14. This person makes a point of saying how lucky she is to be slim as it's always the larger sizes that go first in the sales.

I imagine it's a PA dig at you but I wouldn't rise to it as it could easily be passed off as a mistake. Just change them.

[BatteryPoweredHen]

YANBU, I have a relative who does this. She buys me clothing three sizes too big, but the real kicker was when she bought me what was effectively an 'idiot's guide to' book for the thing that my company does. That'll be the company I started from scratch and now regularly win awards for

Nobody can be expected to get gift giving right all the time, but I find the trick to determining whether it is a PA dig or not is to see how the 'errors' are distributed. So in this case, if she sometimes bought you things too big, sometimes too small, then that could be a case of just getting it wrong. With my relative, it is always wrong on the side that makes me out to be fatter, worse at my job and never 'positively' wrong, if that makes sense?

[maddy68]

Just do it. Why bother telling her unless you want to add to the bad feeling?
I also buy my pjs bigger. I'm a size 8 but would always buy a 12 in pjs

[usualsuspect333]

Why does everyone think there is a hidden agenda in every gift given on MN.

Just exchange them, no heed to create a bloody drama.

[GlitzAndGigglesx]

I'm a size 10-12 and my nan sometimes sends me size 16 pj's. She doesn't do it to be rude I think she finds stuff in all the sales and if it's too small for her she sends it to me. At least I'll have stuff to wear when my bump grows

[LokiBear]

If it makes you feel better, my mum did the same to me x

[ArcheryAnnie]

I'd get over yourself. It isn't the end of the world if someone thinks you might be a size 16.

[ChristmasSplit]

Archery but Id believe that someone who was a size 16 would be pissed off if they were bought a size 20.....

Its not about anything being wrong about size 16.

Its about a family member buying someone clothes 3 sizes too big.

I knew someone would do a cats arse mouth over the mention of bing a size 16.

[Greencurtain]

I have a family member who every Christmas buys me clothing 3 sizes too small (and aimed at someone a few decades older than me). I just put it in the charity shop. I don't know whether she thinks I am actually that size or she thinks I should slim to be that size.

[ArcheryAnnie]

It certainly sounds like the OP thinks there's something wrong and awful in being taken for a size 16.

It's a pair of PJs. If you don't like them, or if they don't fit, change them. Don't use them as a way to parade how outraged you are that your SIL takes you for bigger than you are.

[usualsuspect333]

The SIL probably held them up and thought they looked small. I bet it wasn't a PA dig, no matter how much you want it to be.

[Jollyjingles]

I wouldn't bother telling her as she's not likely to see you in them. If she asks then say 'they were hugely too big so I swapped them for a 10, which are a size up and as you say, so much more comfy'.

Then wait for the reaction!

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

Jewel unless some little imp is replacing the tags inside my clothes to "size 12" ones then I am a 12.

Tbh I am heavier than I should be, as for my height Id be better off in a 10 (and maybe an 8 on top), however I had a baby two months ago so am giving myself til 1st Jan to go back to my excercise class and SW.

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

And I dont think there is anything wrong with being a size 16 or 18, and if I were either of those sizes, the pjs would fit and I wouldnt think anything of it. I fully expected that after having two dcs close together I may end up a good few dress sizes bigger than pre dcs, however I havent. Some,but not lots.

[manchestermummy]

My FIL got me something in a size 16 and I was irritated. I won't be exchanging it as a bloody hate the item. I was irritated because even if you aren't sure of sizes,most normal people hold up the item and consider whether or not it will fit the recipient. I'm about the size of his wife: I do wonder if she would have been happy with something that size.

So OP, I would just exchange it if you can and not make any sort of song and dance. If she does it again maybe mention it. Like I had to with MIL when she persisted in buying me size 3 slippers on the grounds I am short.

[Quitelikely]

I don't understand why posters are getting defensive about being a size 16! Fgs that's got nothing to do with the post. If you want to debate that create another thread!

OP If I was in your shoes I would text her and ask if she still has the receipt stating politely that they are 3 sizes too big.

[TheReluctantCountess]

I don't think you need to tell her. She'll never see you in your pjs.

[ArcheryAnnie]

Nobody is getting defensive about being a size 16, Quitelikely, I'm pointing out that the original post was written as if the OP was outraged at being taken for a size 16. So what if she was taken for a size 16 when she isn't? It isn't the end of the world, and certainly not something to get offended about.

[FindoGask]

Not sure why you'd feel the need to tell her this unless you wanted to subtly have a go. Exchange them by all means but don't be a twat about it.

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

I am not outraged at being seen as a size 16. I am a little bit annoyed at being assumed a good few clothes sizes bigger than I actually am.

The actual numbers arr irrelevent.

[FindoGask]

You're annoyed because she doesn't know exactly what your dress size is, but you're not annoyed that she thought you were a 16? Rrrriiight.

[ArcheryAnnie]

Why? What does it matter if someone sees you as a bit heavier than you actually are?

[BatteryPoweredHen]

I'd be very offended to be taken for a size 16/18! I make taking care of myself a priority in life and work hard/make sacrifices to maintain my figure/fitness.

Insinuating that I might as well not have bothered as I still look obese would be really quite insulting.