to tell SIL that I am exchanging her gift, and why?

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

SIL bought be a set of pjs for Christmas. They are huge. She said "I always buy my pjs a size up so they are comfy so Ive done the same for you". They are a size 18, and I am a 12.

I will exchange them (though they are christmas themed so they may not have any left in my size in that pattern - will swap for a different set if needs be), but do I tell her? And do I tell her why?

She probably wont see me in pjs so I dont have to tell her, but fgs I seriously do not look like a size 16. And if I dont mention the size, what if she then continues to buy extra large pjs? The bottoms fell down as soon as I let go of them!

[BatteryPoweredHen]

A uk size 18, for example has a 36" waist.

According to the NHS guidelines (that your waist should be less than half your height) this is unhealthy for anybody under 6".

[usualsuspect333]

Who cares if your PJs are a bit baggy.

Jeez.

[XiCi]

My MIL used to do this. I was a size 8 and she would buy me size 12-14 clothes for Xmas. Then inexplicably when I'd just had my dd and was still carrying alot of baby weight she bought me pj's size 6-8.
I never felt the need to say anything though, just said thank you and gave them away/exchanged

[ArcheryAnnie]

You do know, Battery, that "figure" and "fitness" are not synonyms, yes?

And it's pretty insulting to say that people who are a size 16 don't "work hard" or "bother" about themselves.

But if, as you say, you make yourself a priority, I suppose you can't be expected to care about other people's feelings, or consider the reality of other people's lives.

[BatteryPoweredHen]

Look, you can straw man my point all you wish. Being so overweight that you need to wear a size 16/18 is not something we (society) should normalise.

For a person to insinuate (through the purchase of too-large clothing) that another person is so overweight that they are damaging their own health is insulting.

The reasons behind obesity are not relevant here, OP is not obese, that is the whole point of the thread.

[BallsforEarings]

I remember many years ago a friend bought me a multi-pack of thongs, bit strange but no matter except that she knew I was a 10 and they were 14-16, she said the same thing 'knickers should be bigger to be comfy'.

My theory was that they were an unwanted pressie for HER that she had recycled to me, as she was more a size 14 and I knew she didn't like to wear thongs!

[FunkyBoldRibena]

It is passive aggressive to get clothes far too big - like they are making a point that you are fat even though you aren't.

Just change them.

[Mintyy]

I'm really hate being a size 16 but if someone bought me a pair of size 20 pyjamas I absolutely would put them in the picture about the wrong size! I can't see what's wrong with your text Hacked. Send that, its perfectly fine.

[usualsuspect333]

Posters on MN find PA things about everything.

You know that perfume or Smelly set you got? It's because the giver thinks you stink.

[Yoskylar]

I'd just change them and move on. Who cares what anyone else thinks! Battery seems to be in the mood for goading me thinks....

[FunkyBoldRibena]

Posters on MN find PA things about everything.

Not everything - just things that are actually passive aggressive.

[usualsuspect333]

You can anything passive aggressive if you try hard enough.


Seems to be the in thing on here, just lately.

[usualsuspect333]

missing find*

[lljkk]

Can't you just laugh about it? "Hey I may look like I'm a hippo but it's only a cunning disguise. These were way too big so I'll have to exchange. Size 12 or 14 next time if you're similarly inspired. Thx!"

[pommedeterre]

You know that smelly set you got?

The giver could not be arsed to think of anything else.

[usualsuspect333]

What about that cook book? It's because the giver thinks you are a lousy cook.

I could find a PA reason for every gift anyone ever received.

[HoHonutty]

MIL got me some foot deodorant. I thought she just liked the packaging. Now I'm thinking she has a hidden agenda.

[usualsuspect333]

Shes telling you your feet stink HoHo.

[mynewpassion]

Agree with the posters who said why cause drama when you can exchange without telling her.

Some people just have to have drama in a simple action.

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

I would feel really bad if I got someone the wrong sized clothes and would want to know the correct size to get in future

[flowery]

I don't understand why people think you shouldn't tell her. I'd want to know if I had bought a family member the wrong size.

My MIL usually buys me a jumper or PJs for Christmas. A few years ago she bought me a size 14. I told her nicely and said I hope she wouldn't mind if I swapped it for the right size. She was fine about it. Now she buys me a 10 and there's no need for any exchanging.

It didn't occur to me to be offended at her buying a 14 and I'm quite sure she wasn't offended by me telling her my actual size.

[Toooldtobearsed]

Oh God, this could have been me....... I am a size 10 bottoms and 12 top. I wear PJ's a size up, for slouchy comfort
My DiL bought me size 16 for Christmas, but the sizes were obviously 10/12 14/16 18/20, so she did exactly the right thing!

Are they REALLY too big to wear? Mine all have little ties on the waist to tighten them. it means you can eat copious amounts of chocolate and no one can see the fat belly

[Mintyy]

Honestly, people, would you really not care if someone who knows you quite well over-estimated your dress size by 3 sizes?

I rather admire your ability to be quite so nonchalant about that!

[maddening]

Could you swap your pjs with them netter who has received tops that are too small?