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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be offended when SIL said my present would be put in the 'unused items' cupboard?

101 replies

Notanoldbat · 26/12/2014 18:51

SIL and DD buy quite a lot of fizzy drinks in bottles for work and home. Especially in the summer.

So I bought them a soda stream bundle with extra bottles to take to work and a mini selection of about 20 different flavours.

SIL says on opening it to DD, 'we'll you know where that is going'! DD '?'
In the top cupboard.....!!

You need a ladder to get to this cupboard and they put things in it which they rarely use.

He also brought a bottle of lemonade to us for the Boxing Day dinner!

AIBU to be a bit miffed. (Luckily DD said of course they will use it!)

Get in well with SIL most of the time but sensitivity is almost zero.

OP posts:
CalleighDoodle · 26/12/2014 18:55

She might not know how to use it?

Next year get her a few bottles of pop and say you thought they'd end up in a lower cupboard. Rude woman!

DennyDifferent · 26/12/2014 18:55

How rude! I think that sounds like a great gift.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 26/12/2014 19:01

I read that to mean that niece would snaffle and overindulge in lots of sugary drinks as they're desirable, rather than SIL snubbing you. Are you absolutely sure that you have the right end of the stick there?

Original poster
Notanoldbat · 26/12/2014 19:03

Clarification alert! It was son in law!

OP posts:
Fanfeckintastic · 26/12/2014 19:04

That's a really good point lyingwitch

Shakiraschristmasalbum · 26/12/2014 19:04

Rude man, the phrase he should have used was "thank you".

YANBU. Next year get your DD a lovely, personal gift and get him a packet of cheese crackers.

Original poster
Notanoldbat · 26/12/2014 19:07

I thought it would be a good investment especially for the summer and they could have healthier drinks than coke as in mixing the carbonated water with natural fruit juice or elderberry concentrate (gorgeous!)

They do have a small kitchen though but it's a very tall and slimline soda stream and if they would just clear some of the junk (unanswered letters, wallets, iPads, phones etc) of the surfaces there would be more space!. Not that I mention, ever, any of the aforementioned junk!

OP posts:
Original poster
Notanoldbat · 26/12/2014 19:09

They buy tons of bottles of coke and Pepsi and lemonade etc plus cans for work, so it will save money in the end.

OP posts:
chanie44 · 26/12/2014 19:13

It's a lovely gesture, but I can see it being one of those things that will get used a couple of times.

bantamgirl · 26/12/2014 19:17

I think it's a brilliant present!!!

I spend a fortune on bottles of fizzy pop, flavoured water, dilute squash and pepsi max - are soda streams expensive to buy / refill etc etc?

Haffdonga · 26/12/2014 19:18

Very rude but probably true

SukieTuesday · 26/12/2014 19:21

It was rude of your son in law to say that in front of you but it was not so much a present as a criticism was it!

'They buy tons of bottles of coke and Pepsi and lemonade etc plus cans for work'

So they like to buy specific soft drinks and obviously are happy to do so. If you like tea all the time how would you react to someone buying you a coffee maker?

'they could have healthier drinks than coke as in mixing the carbonated water with natural fruit juice or elderberry concentrate (gorgeous!)'

They're not drinking the drinks you want them to so you bought them something to make the drinks you approve of.

'if they would just clear some of the junk (unanswered letters, wallets, iPads, phones etc) of the surfaces there would be more space!'

So they should tidy their kitchen to your standards to make room for your unwanted gift.

Original poster
Notanoldbat · 26/12/2014 19:25

The package I bought was £49.99 in aldi special buy Thursday! They will be all gone now but they were around £80 on amazon, £65 at a smaller online retailer, so bargain! I bought one for myself as I was longing for cold drinks last summer and they are so expensive. I was queuing at 8 am!

I think it's also good for the environment.

SIL has form for being rude and DD looked annoyed with him and was really pleased with it. SIL does have a good heart but is a bit annoying at times. I just ignore it as I know he will be the one using it the most Xmas Grin

OP posts:
starfishmummy · 26/12/2014 19:25

Well I wouldnt want one, but then I don't drink many fizzy drinks.
But you have given me an idea for mil next year who only drinks fizzy stuff

SukieTuesday · 26/12/2014 19:27

I only drink fizzy drinks. Specific fizzy drinks. I also won't buy from a company whose factory is in the occupied territories.

Original poster
Notanoldbat · 26/12/2014 19:27

Su. As I said I never mention the junk in the kitchen although DD does moan about it on a regular basis!

Personally I would like a decent coffee maker, and a tea maker too while you're about it, please, thank you very much, please!

OP posts:
SukieTuesday · 26/12/2014 19:28

If you never drank coffee?

raltheraffe · 26/12/2014 19:29

I think what you have done is transferred your fizzy drink preferences on to them.

I buy lots of Diet Tango Orange cans from the cash and carry. I fully appreciate it is full of aspartame and other crap, but I buy it because I like it.

If someone suggested mixing real fruit juice with carbonated water I would respect the fact it is a healthier option, but would stick to my Tango because I like it.

Original poster
Notanoldbat · 26/12/2014 19:32

For DD the gift was wanted and even if SIL didn't want it it's pretty rude to say that I think.

OP posts:
SukieTuesday · 26/12/2014 19:32

Same here Ral. I would have smiled politely and said thank you. Then I would have put it in the charity shop pile.

AliceinWinterWonderland · 26/12/2014 19:32

And that is why last year I gave DD and her boyfriend/DPP (dear pretentious prat) cash for Christmas as they wanted something specific, and I knew if I chose it and purchased it for them, they'd sniff at it. He comes from money dahling and is quite the snob.

This year was much cheaper - they're not speaking to me because I refused to allow him to be verbally abusive to my 8yo with SNs and I refused to listen to "parenting advice" from him on how to discipline him better (from DPP who doesn't have any children of his own and doesn't recognise children with SNs can't be "disciplined" out of it) - I simply said polite goodbyes and left with my younger dcs.

OP - I think your SIL was rude. Regardless of whether or not they decide to use it, he shouldn't have made the comment.

flowery · 26/12/2014 19:32

"they could have healthier drinks than coke as in mixing the carbonated water with natural fruit juice or elderberry concentrate (gorgeous!)"

Have they actually expressed a desire to reduce their fizzy drink consumption? Bit of a strange assumption if not.

I drink loads of fizzy; Diet Coke, Fanta, Dr Pepper etc and I wouldn't touch a Soda Stream.

However I wouldn't communicate that to the person who bought it, so he was v rude.

CakeAndWineAreAFoodGroup · 26/12/2014 19:36

Soda Stream doesn't taste anything like Coca-Cola.

Very rude though to say it would be un-used. I think I would have said, "I'll take it back then" and gone home with it.

Original poster
Notanoldbat · 26/12/2014 19:37

Su. But they do drink fizzy drinks and they have 2 DC. One who drinks coke. DD hates all the crap her DH eats (crisps, sweets, no fruit or veg, and the endless fizzy drinks). She was happy with it.

It's not getting a present and not liking it or using it that's the issue but being rude to the person who's just handed it to you!

OP posts:
Happy36 · 26/12/2014 19:40

Very rude. Next year give them vouchers or cash or perhaps nothing at all.