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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect him to at least pretend to like his Christmas gift?

20 replies

ballisticfish · 26/12/2014 18:27

I childishly over-reacted, and in tears, walked out of 'D'H's parents' Christmas party. In tears because I overheard him quite openly, to a roomful of people, list reasons why the Christmas gift I got him was rubbish. It's a very popular brand of smartphone, not the latest version as I couldn't afford that, but he didn't say thanks when he opened it, hasn't made any attempt to use it and now he's telling everyone why he doesn't want it. AIBU to expect him to at least be honest with me & say thanks for the gesture but no thanks? I was looking forward to giving him it for months.

OP posts:
insertsomethingwitty · 26/12/2014 18:32

I wouldn't expect him to pretend to like something he didn't. But, I would expect him to tell you politely and quickly that it wasn't what he wanted so it could be returned and not to bleet on about it to everyone else.

HansieLove · 26/12/2014 18:35

He is acting like a jerk and everyone in the room knows it. Can you just leave?

Mammanat222 · 26/12/2014 18:36

What an arsehole! How bloody rude.

I mean fair do's you cannot force yourself to like something you don't BUT you certainly don't take the piss out of it in company / make it common knowledge.

When did this all happen?

Have you spoken since?

HoggleHoggle · 26/12/2014 18:36

Sorry but that is just piss poor behaviour. He sounds bloody cruel, that's a horrible way to behave.

Earlybird · 26/12/2014 18:37

You didn't over-react. You acted completely appropriately for the situation described.

He has done you a huge favour by reacting 'honestly'. You now see him for exactly who he is. Had he pretended to like his gift, it would perhaps have given you a reason to stay with him longer.

But his reaction (and his decision to ridicule you/the gift publicly) shows that he is an awful man, and you really can't stay with him.

Here's to a better 2015 for you. Flowers

SuggestmeaUsername · 26/12/2014 18:43

How rude of him. you didnt overreact

Summerbreezer · 26/12/2014 18:45

It always worries me when people post AIBU like this. Can you possibly think you are being unreasonable? That his behaviour is in any way acceptable?

You did not overreact and you deserve so so so much better.

Is he always like this?

Original poster
ballisticfish · 26/12/2014 18:54

Thanks ladies. I'm at home, wondering what just happened. His parents live very close & I walked home leaving him there with his beer & the DC. TBH part of me knows I didn't over-react but in the time I've been with him, I've felt that if I react upset/annoyed/angry I've always come out of it believing I'm over-reacting or I took it the wrong way - or it's me & it's 'that time of the month' etc etc.

OP posts:
MangoBiscuit · 26/12/2014 18:56

How rude! If I had been another guest there, I would have been completely embarrassed having to listen to him. (I would also think you were a very generous gift giver)

Not an over reaction at all, he was a complete jerk!

HansieLove · 26/12/2014 18:58

You can take the phone back and then he gets nothing.

Topseyt · 26/12/2014 18:58

Absolutely no way did you overreact. He is an arse. What he did was totally disrespectful to you.

Perhaps he has just amply demonstrated what he is really like and given a taste of things to come??!!

fredfredgeorgejnr · 26/12/2014 19:01

His behaviour is completely unacceptable, he shouldn't do you down to anyone else.

You should always be honest with your DP though about not liking gifts though, particularly expensive ones, it's very silly when you share money, to waste it on stuff you don't like. His ideal choice wasn't the lesser model given you couldn't afford the latest, it was nothing. So if he was just complaining to you, I'd say YWBU, however the guy is a complete arse for moaning to other people.

Fanfeckintastic · 26/12/2014 19:01

That's extremely rude, this coming from someone who sprayed perfume DP gave me and apologetically said Oh no I don't think I like it Sad nothing wrong with being politely honest (I ended up loving it though) and he commented this morning about an expensive skin care set I got him "sometimes I'm not sure if this expensive stuff makes my skin worse" again, no offense taken whatsoever as unless you're buying specific items, you're taking a chance buying presents.

Bitching to other people though is terribly rude.

CalleighDoodle · 26/12/2014 19:04

Going to say something different. I want a 6 when i upgrade. If someone got me a 4 it would be wasted on me as i would still get the 6 in march, as thats the one i want.

CalleighDoodle · 26/12/2014 19:06

Id also e posting saying my H has got me the wrong phone despite knowing which one i want and was going to get anyway so what a waste of money.

MaryWestmacott · 26/12/2014 19:10

Either he knows it was rude and was doing it deliberately to insult you or he doesn't and is so lacking in social skills your life with him will be a constant series of embarrassing moments and humiliations

Personally, I couldn't be arsed with that.

Take it back and return it, put the money in your own separate "had enough" fund or if not, treat yourself to a gorgeous handbag that every time you use it you can remember you are worth more than him.

MaryWestmacott · 26/12/2014 19:12

Difference is though calliegh- assume you would quietly thank your DH for it but ask if you could return it, or at least not insult your gift to everyone else at a party.

Notanoldbat · 26/12/2014 19:18

Ffs. What a total arse. Take it back and keep the bloody money. When you have time to yourselves without the DC around tell him exactly what you think of him and seriously look at this marriage.

If this is an isolated incident or part of a pattern look at whether you should just end it. You only have one life and you don't need to be treated like this.

LilMissSunshine9 · 26/12/2014 19:25

Maybe I am naive but I cannot understand why anyone who loves their OH would ever talk badly about them in front of other people (even family!). I think its incredibly disrespectful. You are supposed to love that person so why would you say horrible things. If you have an issue then surely you take it up with them in private and sort it out. I would be mortified if that was my OH so no you are not over reacting he was an arse for his behaviour he could of been 'adult' about it and simply told you privately that he could return it and use the money towards the version he wanted but he appreciated your efforts.

Chin up OP Smile

CakeAndWineAreAFoodGroup · 26/12/2014 19:32

He was so far out of order there. OK it wasn't what he wanted/hoped for but that's when he asks you a few days afterwards for the receipt, can you change it.

Not slag you off to your in-laws.

My lovely MIL wouldn't have stood for that or let me walk home upset. She would have ripped him a new one there and then for being an absolute wanker. I'll bet most people there were Shock as I would have been.

Hope you feel better soon...

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