To create a safe space for a silent Christmas scream?

[rainyevening]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggfh, my mother is driving me mad with her crazy passive aggression. Yes, we all think you're fantastic, no, I haven't yet put a picture of the present you got me on Facebook, now will you sit the fuck down and stop doing unnecessary housework to make us all feel bad?

Anyone else need to get anything off their chest?

(And happy Christmas)

Oh knackered it's such very early days for you ....it's tough xxx

I thought I was ok? I can be fine for days, then it's like being clubbed over the head - really shocking sadness and wanting her back... Thanks for your thoughts - I have had a cry and think there is some vodka somewhere x

I was coming on the thread to moan about the fact that I've been poorly for about 4 weeks now, DH went to bed at 7pm tonight because he was feeling grim and has since been vomiting copiously (sickness bug, not vino-related!) and I imagine it will probably go round the 4 dcs and myself over the next couple of days.

Oh, and the fact that at the in-laws this afternoon, my kids and DH were given a whole bagful of pressies each while I was given, with great ceremony, a set of 6 bloody pencils.

Anyway, having read the thread, am feeling I don't have too much to moan about. After all, the pencils do have built-in erasers... Happy Christmas one and all! May next year's be fabulous for you.

After everyone left about 8-30, I was in bed at 9-15! I was so exhausted, I couldn't speak. I'm the sort of person who goes to bed after midnight! I was even shivering in bed and the room was 23. I've been really I'll and I'm getting better I hope.
It's just been hectic . There was a dozen of us but felt like more! 5 of them were 11 and under.
It's taken me till now to calm down and we actually had a good day.

Love to you all whose days were ruined with one thing or another. it's only one day thank goodness.

knackered69 My beautiful Mum died in September too, well done for just getting through the day. I've done my damnedest to make her proud today, for my Dad, DS's and DH.

Bellabelly...strange choice of present !

NC because I'll feel bad about posting this as soon as I hit post.

Had Christmas dinner at my house on Tuesday night. My mother doesn't like to drive in the dark so DH picked her up. (It's a 35 minute drive from hers to ours.) Had dinner (the full Xmas monty) then I took her home. Went around today for tea, I told her I would bring leftovers and we could just have sandwiches, mainly because she moans about cooking and would live on soup if she could. She provided the bread, I took ham, turkey and roast pork. Also cake, mince pies and champagne and Christmas crackers. She liked her gifts, a couple of small things and a 100 quid voucher from her favourite craft store.

Her gift to me? Well, that would sfa. Not a thing. Ditto for DH. Not so much as a bar of bloody chocolate. I haven't said anything out loud to anyone because I sound like a child, but I'm so fucking pissed off.

Alwayswashing well done to you too! Its tough isnt it?

Dowser, I suspect that it just happened to be lying around the house. It's the only explanation that makes any sense!

I did say to DH when we got home that I'd be re-gifting it to MIL next xmas. He laughed cos he thought I was joking, sweet naive man... [yes I really am that petty and vindictive]

to everyone who needs them :)

My mother had a passive aggressive sulk because dh asked mil to help with the gravy and not her then forcefully insisted on washing up everything even though we have a dishwasher. She never thanked me for her present but when I showed mil the handbag dh got me for Christmas she moaned that no-one ever buys her a bag!!!

Constantlyconfused - that is appalling behavior on your sister's part! Do you think she did it deliberately?

Had a lovely quiet Christmas with DH and DS2, and really have nothing to complain about.

'D'M messaged me to say that she and her DP would like to come up this weekend, so, after much huffing and puffing, I managed to book the weekend off, only for her to text and say she was dropping presents round on Monday (when she knew no one would be in). I told her that was impossible, but we were looking forward to seeing her this weekend. She's not coming. DBro offered her something better and more expensive. So she's going there. No phone calls, no messages, nothing. Nothing from DSM or DSSis's either. Sent emails to them all.

I'd sort of hoped that the real prospect of not seeing me and DS2 might galvanise 'd'M a bit (we've moved away and are planning to emigrate at some point in the next few years) , but no. It really is just us against the world, isn't it?

Stupid thing is, I know I won't lose hope that, at some point, she might actually realise that she has a daughter.

goth mummy yes I do.I can't even be bothered to mention it.In future I shall get what I can afford not whats requested.She is under the illusion christmas is for her and her DCs no one elses matter.I'm not fussed about christmas presents but they could have got DD something she'd like!

Im really sorry that you have such a selfish sister, constantlyconfused :(

She has always been selfish she has some kind of odd jealousy that my DD was the first grandchild.If mum or dad give DD an ounce of attention she jumps in with something about "oh look at DC he can play the piano so well hes only 6" .
Oh well won't have to see her till next christmas (i hope) When she shall receive a variety pack

Bloody MIL. As I was pouring maple syrup over my French toast she looked at my plate and said 'Oh my god'... You do not know how close I was to telling her to get fucked.

She was probably surprised because I had also just eaten bacon, sausages and eggs, but that's beside the sodding point. It's my house, my breakfast and Boxing Day so I'll eat what the hell I please.

My FIL at xmas lunch got a bit drunk and the conversation (I was sat next to him) was almost unbearable. Gems included:

• talking about one of my best friends, who is also an acquaintance of FIL and he proceeded to tell me how he always fancied her and had really hoped that DH would have married her (erm, thanks a lot!)
• talking about my best friend's DD who FIL recently saw at my DD's nativity, FIL called her 'that fat, clumsy child, is she retarded?'. I am very fond of this girl and it made me rather tearful.

We were then all commanded to sit in silence for the queen's speech and I had to practically suffocate my DD in order to maintain the silence. Hey, it's only one day of the year, huh?

I'm late to this party.

awholelotta please report the home to Social Services/the CQC. The way they are treating your father is utterly inhumane.

My beloved grandfather was too ill to come for Christmas. I missed him. My father, an alcoholic whom I'd hoped was recovering, arrived half an hour late for lunch and absolutely hammered. He drank another bottle of wine at lunch and then announced that 'real men don't wash up'. He ruined everyone's day. I don't think I can go through that again but don't want to abandon my DM or DS.

Oh no, that's really tough. Such a difficult time of the year for families of problem drinkers.

Just wanted to say I'm thinking of all you people having a rubbish time. This thread has really got to me somehow.

AWholeLottaNosy that is absolutely not acceptable for your father to be in those conditions. You must ring SS tomorrow and make a huge fuss.
He should be clean, warm, with a decent dinner, and comfortable surroundings. Please raise hell with the "home".
The home my husband's grandad was in helped him to write Christmas cards. We obviously provided address lists and the cards but still, its their job to be carers and help. Your poor dad.