Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To create a safe space for a silent Christmas scream?

100 replies

rainyevening · 25/12/2014 17:22

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggfh, my mother is driving me mad with her crazy passive aggression. Yes, we all think you're fantastic, no, I haven't yet put a picture of the present you got me on Facebook, now will you sit the fuck down and stop doing unnecessary housework to make us all feel bad?

Anyone else need to get anything off their chest?

(And happy Christmas)

OP posts:
Original poster
rainyevening · 25/12/2014 21:45

Sympathies all

My mother has reappeared after her tantrum. We had dinner. Now doing competitive passive aggressive clearing up.

Not doing this again.

OP posts:
Original poster
rainyevening · 25/12/2014 21:46

I've really had a lot more alcohol than is good for me.

OP posts:
LetTheRiverAnswer · 25/12/2014 21:48

Just adding my day to the list of woes. I cant even blame anyone else really, since we were mostly just my little family unit, but...
My parents came for Christmas Eve and left this morning. My mum spent all that time talking bout how she made Christmas so magical for us, when we were kids, but also listing all the jobs she had to do and how stressful it all was. So competetive, saying my efforts were not as good as hers and being a martyr to her perfect Christmases too. That really irked.
DS1 and Ds2 (3 and 5) didn't want to get up in the morning, which would have been fine but there was the whole grandparents wanting to see them before they left, so I ended up waking them up, and them being grumpy.
DS2 has been stroppy and temperamental, saying he doesn't like Christmas, doesn't want any presents etc on and off all day.
DS2 refused to eat lunch. DS1 only wanted turkey, no gravy, no stuffing, no veg. DS3 only wanted to be breastfed. He is 18 months old and I am utterly fed up with him screaaming in his high chair only to then claw at me. Not happening.
So by the time I came to eat, I was fed up and my dinner was cold. Didn't even attempt pudding as noone was interested.
DS2 had a massive tantrum when we tried to leave the house for a 10 minute stroll, which pretty much took us until bed time,.when he kicked off over a few other thngs.
It should have been a low key, relaxed Christmas, but it was mostly hard work, lonely and fustrating (even though dh has tried hard to do his fair share and be cheery).
That's long, but i feel better for venting!

youarekiddingme · 25/12/2014 21:49

I've had an amazing day - now freezing my tits off because today of all days my boiler/ thermostat packs up! It's not actual boiler as still have hot water - thanking god for small mercies Xmas Grin

Original poster
rainyevening · 25/12/2014 21:52

Yeah, not really the thread for anyone who's had an amazing day, though sorry about your boiler.

OP posts:
youarekiddingme · 25/12/2014 22:04

Well that's the point! It ain't amazing - sat here freezing cold having had hardly any sleep due to DS with ASD.

littlebillie · 25/12/2014 22:11

Overall not too bad MiL came with her husband who knows we hate UKIP and brought it in every conversation. Mil started to clean up after our meal and asked if I had sorted a cleaner for NY............ Had a small silent scream! but now digging into Pringles in my filthy home Smile

wonderingsoul · 25/12/2014 22:14

Can I join?

I normally lobe christmas, especially the build up.. I do elf on shelve and normally go nuts I love it.

This year, all iv done is wish it away, iv tried to do what I normally would but it's such a struggle to just not cry I haven't got the energy for much else. I feel so guilty for letting my kids down and not giving them the normal christmasy stuff that there used to, though thankfully they havnt mentioned the lack of elf naughtiness or making paper chains etc

This morning, was admitly lovely, kids loved their presents, was thankful and for the first time in months I was genuinely happy.

Now their asleep, and I'm back to feeling exceptionaly lonely fighting back tears at the thought of my friends with their family and ohs and I'm sat here in the cold (boiler went yesterday) majorly woeing and I can't even drink as iv taken some codine for a toothache and earach which isn't even working.
Being single parent sucks sometimes, I just want to be important to some one else.

Oh my that just came rolling out.

Boredshitless · 25/12/2014 22:17

Started off a bit iffy...OH wanted to make love, but couldn't DTD.

This was followed by lovely thoughtful presents, for which I am very grateful.

About to take the dog for a walk and he said oh I forgot my phone, I went back in to pick it up for him and a message arrived, this led to his messages opening, not I intentional but it happened. A text saying you've been charged £££s for three services..... I asked what was this about? Clearly paying for some sort of porn, "specialised porn presumably"

Somehow within 15 minutes this turned to him screaming that I was making out I was upset, that I was pleased to find it and use it against him, that he would tell everyone what I liked in bed and that some of these things were "odd" not sure they are. But I don't want my sex life discussed with my children or family, he threatened to go to bed for the day or just go out. I said fine what would you like me tell my brother and our sons? He then said he would stay but that I had to forgive him immediately, I can't.

I am a victim of sexual abuse. I have asked numerous times for him to not use sex against me, he's done this so many times, I told him the last time it would be the last....he's using sex against me again, it's gonna be a tough start to 2015. I know what I have to do, but as many know it's gonna be tough.

But if I don't this will continue for the rest of my life, I need to find peace with myself, I need to not constantly worry about everything he is doing.

This is garbled I am tired, sorry.

X

StilleNachtCarolling · 25/12/2014 22:26

Big hugs to all those having a shit Christmas...or indeed a shit time in general Sad

reddaisy · 25/12/2014 22:26

Bored, that sounds awful and you would probably get better advice on the Relationships board but just wanted to give you Flowers

LostyTheSnowman · 25/12/2014 22:30

Everything sucks, lovely LOVELY family member who made Christmas every year had an awful accident 18 months ago and will be in hospital forever. Lost my fabulous Mil because she's moved to look after him. It HURTS to miss them so much. Worked my arse off and got in debt (I know OK!) last year to make our first non extended family Christmas amazing (my dad had cancer and was mid treatment so we couldn't go to them or they to us). DH got so drunk he ended up ruining everything and spent Boxing Day in A&E. He is now to be STBexH but I invited him to stay for Christmas for the sake of our boys and so he didn't miss out on Christmas morning. I'm ill, take morphine daily for pain but still managed a full Christmas meal for everyone, even though, well they don't give you morphine on a repeat prescription for a slightly sore bit. My mum sniped and criticised and actually at one point got packaging out of the recycling to confer with exH about cooking times. I'm 40 and a bloody good cook, also insanely organised so there was no need. They left with a 'well imagine how hard it was for me all the years I did it'. Oh and I got my letter through yesterday to say I can apply for my decree nisi in Jan, shouldn't there be a law about sending post like that so it comes Christmas eve?

I only hid upstairs and cried once in the loo so I'm really proud of that.

Merry Fucking Christmas and if yours was worse, I am so SO sorry for you.

Original poster
rainyevening · 25/12/2014 22:32

Bored that's incredibly tough. Hope things get sorted out in 2015 for you.

Wondering it sounds like you gave your kids a lovely time. Really sorry that you're lonely Wine Flowers You'll feel better when you're not in pain.

youarekiddingme'sorry, I was being flippant

OP posts:
Original poster
rainyevening · 25/12/2014 22:34

Fuck Losty have some Flowers Wine

There should indeed be a law against that kind of post at Christmas

OP posts:
AWholeLottaNosy · 25/12/2014 22:40

Hugs to everyone having a difficult and sad time this Christmas. I've been on my own this year as my mum died in Feb and my dad's gone into a care home.

My 82 year old dad has dementia and is now blind. I looked after him for a year but it was so hard, it brought me to the edge of a nervous breakdown. He's been in a home now for a year but it's not been plain sailing. Went to visit him yesterday and it's just so upsetting. He's a broken man, calling out for help and no one was there, being served disgusting food, beans and corned beef hash. Slop, prison food, no socks on his feet, his nose dripping into his food, his commode not having been emptied, eating his food with his hands as he can't see. And when we told him it was Christmas the next day he was really distressed that he hadn't sent any cards or got presents. We weren't close when I was growing up but god I feel so sad for him he's so pathetic ( in the sense of pitiful). There's nothing I can do for him but I'm sitting here in tears thinking about how sad his life is. And tbh terrified that I will end up like him one day. Feel so helpless.

LostyTheSnowman · 25/12/2014 22:40

I'm glad you agree! Sod the flowers just keep pouring the wine Grin.

Boredshitless · 25/12/2014 22:43

Awholelotta my heart bleeds for you honestly.....I'm so sorry you and your father are going through this awful time.

Hugs to you both, life it total shite at times.

Xxxx

furcoatbigknickers · 25/12/2014 22:44

Had a lovely present open this morning, wonderful dinner, went to
Pub with friends.

But the dcs driving me a bit potty, moaning, meltdowns about it being a rubbish xmas when things not going their way. Crimbo may ne cancelled next year. Hmm

furcoatbigknickers · 25/12/2014 22:49

Oh and the boiler broke down this morning

Trollsworth · 25/12/2014 22:54

Awholelottanosy, please ring the social services and report the nursing home your dad is in. There is NO NEED for anyone to be treated that way.

kissmasfairy · 25/12/2014 22:55

For the last 3 hours or so I have been doubled over with period pain and feeling incredibly sorry for myself, and almost posted without rtft. After reading some of your posts I need to woman up and be bloody grateful for the day I've had. FlowersWine and hugs to all of you having a shitty day.

knackered69 · 25/12/2014 23:00

Had a good day really - ex dh came over last night, kipped on sofa bed, then today we had a laugh with the kids, played charades, ate goose, watched crap telly etc

He's just gone home which is fine - but am suddenly overcome. My mum died in September and I suddenly feel overwhelmed with grief. Im never going to see her again am I...

Original poster
rainyevening · 25/12/2014 23:10

Oh, knackered, I'm so sorry for your loss. A first Christmas without your mum must be really tough

OP posts:
LetTheRiverAnswer · 25/12/2014 23:11

kissmass fairy you're right. My day was fustrating and disappointing but nothing more than my 3 yo being in a very difficult phase really. Sorry to hear so many really awful situations and days.Flowers

SirRaymondClench · 25/12/2014 23:15

Just for once I would like to feel like my step son loves me rather than hates me. It feels miserable. Sad