To create a safe space for a silent Christmas scream?

[rainyevening]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggfh, my mother is driving me mad with her crazy passive aggression. Yes, we all think you're fantastic, no, I haven't yet put a picture of the present you got me on Facebook, now will you sit the fuck down and stop doing unnecessary housework to make us all feel bad?

Anyone else need to get anything off their chest?

(And happy Christmas)

Ha! MIL has just cleaned my kitchen and living room. I don't mind though because frankly I couldn't be arsed to do it. Besides she is only doing to be helpful.

My own mother on the other hand! How bloody hard is it to wish your daughter merry Christmas? I called her earlier and my younger sibling answered. All I heard was my M bellowing in the background to call back later as she was serving dinner. Fair enough. I call back two hours later, no answer. Another hour later and still no answer. I've text to ask how her day has been and she hasnt even bothered to reply.

I don't know why I expected anything different. This is the woman that buys Christmas gifts for everyone. she likes to appear nice and generous to others so will buy lots of nice lovely gifts for every single family member and extended family member. except me Just like last year i didn't even get a card. But when I last spoke to her she took great joy in telling me how she has brought all of my SILS sisters and sisters children little gifts even though she has only met them all once.

AAARRRGGGGHHH!

What's wrong with Die Hard? It's very festive. Yippee-kai-ai

I brought very thoughtful gifts for all
My friends Children (as all decided we would buy for just the children) but no one realised that I wouldn't get any gifts from them....

Have just realised that My Grandmother's dementia is getting alot worse then we first thought (at least one of our family pops in nearly everyday but for a short while but as she was here all day we could see how bad it's got)
Found out yesterday my Grandfather has less then 6 months and we haven't watched any Christmas films which I like doing on Christmas Day too! Gothic your day sounds a bit like ours, no nibbles, no Christmas music etc :(

Jesus, I'm miserable. I'm sitting on my bed crying and drinking Baileys while 12 guests are downstairs.

I've had a really tough couple of months and DH promised to help with the cooking, cleaning etc today. He has done a couple of things but not much and he genuinely thinks he's been helpful. My DM has driven me daft in the kitchen and spent the day getting under my feet and trying to boss me about. MIL has been her usual passive aggressive self and people keep opening bottles of wine when there are already several open. I'm sick of finding half empty glasses around the house especially when people are just getting a new one instead of actually looking for the one they've put down.
I just want them all to piss off home but since some are staying overnight it isn't going to happen.

I now need to fix my face and go back downstairs to join in with family board games, kill me now!

Aaaaaaargh

Oh and 3 people I know have announced they are pregnant today. One is due the day my baby should have been due if I hadn't miscarried two weeks ago. I should be happy for them I know. But I would kill to be on the receiving end of such happiness and excitement like that. I should be on the receiving end

I'm starting to really dislike Christmas.

Minor thing but I asked a relative for 100% cotton bedding for my sons as they get really sweaty in the poly cotton stuff and are growing out of the kids cotton stuff that we have already. So what did she buy? Poly cotton duvet covers. I know they're cheaper but it's exactly what I said they didn't want! Gah! She's not the sort of person I can ask for a receipt to change them either.

I won't join the screaming, but I will join in with the criers.

Kids in bed and Now sitting on my own feeling more lonely and defeated than I have for a long time. I have visions of everyone else I know sitting with their husbands or wives and at least having just someone to look at or talk to .

I need to snap out of it because I know there are people with so much less than I have and in far more dire straights, but instead I keep feeling very over dramatic (ie woe is me I'm a poor lonely single mother who has failed at life) and bursting into tears!

At least this thread is making me realise the grass is not always greener.

sarky big ((hugs)) and . I'm sorry to hear that. Be kind to yourself and only do what yiur feeling up to.

whata I did that for 15 years.

Now I have to deal with a mil who detests me because he son is in love with me. I've manages to fend her off today but she will be banging the door down tomoro. Dp is having a food sleep and dd2 is fast asleep. I'm enjoying the quiet.

FIL, BIL and mil will be here tomorrow, all expecting to be waited on. FIL will act quietly stunned that I get to have a say in what's on the tv. (Obvs it's mens work the tv control) mil will be pretending she didn't start a big fight with me last week and I will be pretending I don't want to stab her in the face.

BIL is actually ok.

If you want to chat PM me. Ve done the lonely xmases, fab family Christmases only exists on facebook x

My childless sister gave my brother's kids £40 each but gave my DD a crappy gift from the Boots 3 for 2 range. It's genuinely not about the money but the way she treats my gorgeous DD like a third rate niece.

Having said that, the three of us are having a wonderful Christmas.

Been keeping a smile on my face all week as I'm so anxious about work and stressed and unhappy. It being Christmas means that everyone expects you to be happy and relaxed and nobody wants to hear that you're not ... particularly my DH who can actually be quite unhelpful in these situations ("Oh God ... you're not still thinking about that ffs"). This just makes it harder.

I feel horrid for saying it, because it's magical for the little children, but I'll be glad in a few days when it really will be all over. And yet it should be the happiest family time of the year ... aghhh

Herrena oh no what a shit day! Hugs, and to you.

Thanks Allin, normally I'm fine all alone in the evenings, I think it's just all the annoying family photo cards and online posts and messages and tv/film 'family' emphasis etc that get to me at Christmas.
I do have two amazing DD's though.

Arrrrrggggghhhhh !!!!
my kids need to work on their 'that's not quite what I expected but thank you, you're very kind ' instead of 3 outbursts that made me want to crawl under a rock. I could feel the judgey pants being hoiked telepathically. why have a manners bypass today of all days????

I'm listening. ((hugs)) to everyone having a shitty day.

winnie sorry about your Grandparents. It's never nice to find these things out, but it seems worse over Xmas.

I avoided my family after a shitty day last year (I was at home alone on xmas evening cleaning my bathroom this time last year), just me and the dc's instead this time.

Im having a arghhhhhh. My selfish sister requested expensive gifts from me for niece and nephew i stupidly brought and they got me and DD a joint selection pack. As bratty as that sounds they are MUCH better off than us and sat boasting how they'd spent 1,200 on each of their kids
I know you don't give to receive but FFS don't send me orders then give us a shared selection pack of choc . I specifically asked if we could tone down this year as i've had a few money worries she replied "ohhh I've already got yours" then proceeded to give me her wishlist.

feel like shit so im coming to join in. Came to DM house for dinner. due between 4 and 5. served at gone 7 with 2 types of veg I've never eaten. because it was 2 hours late being served ds was being a pain because he was starving. get some foor for him and bring him to try and get him to sleep. dh came up to ask if i wanted some dinner. no sorry dh i don't want dry turkey with a couple of potatoes and the 2 types of veg that were the only two available which I've never eaten. really reinforces the fact that I feel completely and utterly forgotten about of late by most and im now really fresking hungry but have a sleeping ds on me. i was expecting us to be home an hour ago because i had been assured so many times over the past few weeks that it was going to be a mid afternoon dinner.
I'm so so annoyed and i know it's a complete first world problem but ut matters to me.

for all of you having a shitty day

Almighty family row in our house. Don't want to say too much as family members know I MN but there was shouting and dinner was ruined.

We had such a lovely morning but now everyone is feeling a bit tearful and somewhat angry which is a shame since we all spoiled each other and had a really cozy day up until then

strangely comforting to hear others are having stressy days. All the endless joy on tv just serves to make me feel even more resentful!

Just got better. dp came to say car was packed and we were ready to move sleeping ds. oh by the way we didn't save you any of the three puddings you made. merry fucking christmas

Well I've had a drunken cry and am fumbling around for comedy on the I player. I feel a bit better.

I seriously need to figure out how to invest my emotional energy wisely in future.

All is not lost, there are navy things to be thankful for.
Dd.
my warm, safe home
My dog
The ridiculous amount if food in this house that means I shouldn't need to shop till new year.
I have a really good bed with lovely covers and an electric blanket.
I bought myself a good bottle of whiskey for christmas.

I'm sorry you're all feeling sad too, I suddenly understand why sine people start doing christmas cruises/holidays. Genius!

Baby D's teething with bronchiolitis and keeps vomiting when he coughs.

Dd2 post surgery screaming in pain, refusing to eat and take medication on time hence more screaming. Two hour long screaming tantrums today. Currently still up and screaming again.

DH spent until 4pm vomiting and writhing in pain from a stomach ulcer.

Didn't even bother with Christmas dinner, couldn't have juggled the kids and cooked anyway.