To think I REALLY should have been told/asked

[haphazardbystarlight]

DH has bought a dog.

It's gorgeous but I know it's ALL going to land on me.

I'm not being U, am I?

Ok - it's done now.

Think practicalities. Please tell me he's got suitable food? A sudden change if diet can mean a very poorly pooch.
A crate or playpen? Is your garden suitably fenced?

It's a given that it won't be from a health checked/screened litter - only responsible breeders do that, and they won't sell a puppy as an unexpected gift. So your pup may well have hidden health problems that could cost you dearly.

So your DH needs to arrange pet insurance. Today, online. He'll need to research the different options, get quotes and pay for it.

His attitude and commitment to these issues will give you a clear idea of whether he's thought this through or bought it on a whim, and how much effort he'll be willing to put in.

I'd be furious.

I don't have it in me andrew which DH knows full well!

It's not just DS. He's lying next to me with soulful eyes ...

It's the principle of it. I wouldn't actually have said 'no' if he'd asked; I would have said 'wait.' Just until dd is a tiny bit older.

This is so typical DH though so typical. I'm sure he thinks I'm a figment of his imagination half the time.

Well yes its manipulative and out of line and you shouldnt give dogs as gifts at Xmas. So .. if you want to keep him make it on your terms. DH does half the walkies (he should do the early morning one as you will have kids to sort and .. DH deserves it ) and DS does the feeding and grooming. And DH does the vets visits. And spaniels are lunatics btw so good job he is cross breed!

A puppy and an 8 month old are a really really bad combination OP. I know he is cute but it won't be cute if he starts play fighting with her or your DD starts winding him up. It would be a safety issue. I am amazed at your calmness, I would definitely have castrated DH by this point. Wtf was he thinking with a baby in the house? And like others have said, who would sell him a dog without asking about children and where it was going?

I don't think you can compare a puppy to having a baby unexpectedly, their needs are very different.

Peruvian - pup came from people in our village. Luckily (ha ha ha) we live remotely so the pup can charge around to his hearts content in the garden and fields.

He has food and insurance and he has a collar. With a Santa attached to it

I hate saying this, but if I we're you I'd send it back. My sister once turned up home with a puppy, and swore to God that she would look after him. Except that she also liked going out, and she didn't like paying vet bills. After a couple of months my parents gave up and the poor pup had to be rehomed. It was heart breaking

Altered I know, I know - but I am a VERY soft touch where furry things/ babies/old folk are concerned and I just know I can't return the pup. I'm not comparing them I'm just trying to explain why my heart is well and truly lost to this dog while at the same time I could kill DH with my bare hands.

So......

Although you don't want the dog you are not prepared to do anything about it and so will end up keeping it and so doing all the work involved for it?

If you are not prepared to send it back or insist AND enforce the agreement that DH takes 100% responsibility for it, then he knows exactly what he was doing when he brought it.

Sorry to sound harsh but my DH respects my input to major life changing decisions and not being a doormat I stand up for myself and tell him if I am not happy!

OP You've said yourself, if you'd been given the choice, you'd have asked your DH to wait so your household was capable of meeting a pups needs.

It may be cute and cuddly, but you have to make a decision with your head not your heart - if you can't offer this pup the home it needs right now, then neither you or your DH are being responsible.

He's gone to work now anyway.

Leaving you to sort out the dog........

Bloody irresponsible behaviour and I don't even like animals!

I have to admit it's a while since I've seen DS so happy and animated.

I have been really, seriously thinking I will leave DH this hear and if I do I think DS will hate me - the dog will be another 'look what your mother did' thing. So I can't give any more ammunition in this respect.

If you aren't sending it back get a pen and paper now and write down all the jobs involved. Fill in what you are prepared to do (if any) then tell DH thd rest are his or he fills the gap somehow eg. Dog walker.

That then lives on the fridge/kitchen notice board/ by the beer cupboard where every one can see it and is clear about what is happening.

What's the point of this thread, really?

Oh none GoodKing I should never post unless I do exactly what I'm told I suppose.

The point of this thread is the OP is that the OP is venting Quiet - something you and I have both done on MN before.

Thank you sugar :)

'I have been really, seriously thinking I will leave DH this hear and if I do I think DS will hate me - the dog will be another 'look what your mother did' thing. So I can't give any more ammunition in this respect.'

Meanwhile, just let him continue to have no regard for you at all and leave you to pick up the shit, literally.

Dogs are fab..but do take up a lot of time and money. Keep the puppy..get training lessons as a family... insure it. Now. Today. From experience get the best you can afford.. . petplan if possible. They pay direct to the vet. Crate train...it will save destruction. Don't regardless of how gorgeous he is spoil him. Get your son involved in looking after him. And enjoy him. Dogs are mans best friend....they truly are....and I say that after one of mine has eaten the Christmas ham.... :-)

lol petra

I'll ignore that snarky comment oswell as it didn't really help anything or anybody, did it? But maybe it made you feel good.

It's amusing when posters with utter twats for spouses get all riled up at posters on the internet rather than someone who treats them with no regard in real life.

OP, Think it through - you're planning on being a single parent of two under 5's and still think you can adequately care for a young dog?

What if the DCs are ill? What if you are? What if the dog is?

I had two dogs when exDH and I split. It was a nightmare. And DD was 8, so old enough to help, and they were middle aged so capable of missing a walk or two. It's hard work, expensive and an additional responsibility you can avoid.

Call the people who bred the pup, be honest with them and say you hadn't been involved in the decision and explain to your DC that the puppy misses his mum so went home to her.

OMG! It get's better! So as well as you now having a dog that you don't want, you are planning on separating anyway!!

Who do you think will be lumbered with it when you part?

FFS!!

Haphazard, I didn't see your post about leaving him when I first posted. To be honest that does put a different slant on things .

You've obviously got some difficult decisions to make this year - how would you feel about asking MNHQ to move this thread into the Relationships section which is a little more supportive than AIBU?

My DS isn't under 5.