To think I REALLY should have been told/asked

[haphazardbystarlight]

DH has bought a dog.

It's gorgeous but I know it's ALL going to land on me.

I'm not being U, am I?

[MultipleMama]

I'm a puppy trainer well handler and dog behaviourist spealising in puppies & security and honestly most of what I teach/advice can be found on most websites regarding puppies. Training (i.e by professional) is only really needed if your puppy is out of hand or you want obdience classes and certain "fun" classes for those puppies with high energy (like yours may be ). Every puppy learns differently, you can do it your way if you do it early enough and consitantly :)

[haphazardbystarlight]

Thanks

[airforsharon]

Hi OP, my spaniel cross (he's mainly cocker with a bit of springer thrown in) is now 10 months old, he's generally very good - in some respects he's been far better/easier than the puppy books led me to expect, in some ways a bit harder - but anyway, as i'm still really in the puppy/junior stage with him if you've any questions i'm happy for you to PM me.

[BigChocFrenzy]

OK, you wouldn't have chosen a pup, but he's already snuggled his way into your heart.
You sound like you would be a good, responsible dog-owner, so the puppy would have a great life with you.
He is naturally adorable and he will love you with all his might in return. Dogs are loyal for life.
Your "D"H sounds nasty, disrepectful and wouldn't recognise loyalty if it bit his bum.

Yes, you are logical to keep the lovely one and boot out the nasty one.

[haphazardbystarlight]

Haha BigChoc I think you're right.

[MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig]

Can we have a pic please op?

[MidniteScribbler]

I blame the idiot breeders. Although I wouldn't use the term 'breeders' with any idiot that crosses a spaniel and a pointer anyway, I have a different word for them. You don't sell a puppy to someone unless the whole family is on board, ever. They obviously couldn't care less about the dogs they bring in to the world.

[Cubee]

My "d"h (now exdh!) did this to me, but with a pair of kittens. Just turned up with them one day. He worked away a lot. I was a SAHM. Actually, far worse - I was a childminder at the time. Then became a SAHM after he convinced me it would be great for our family. 6 weeks later, he walked out. He just left! No warning. No discussion. Left me with 2 children under 5, 2 kittens and no job. He said "I can't take the kittens. I'm renting now. They are your responsibility".
And "I would have respected you more if you worked". kills him

Good luck OP. Being single is far better than being married to men like this.

[Topseyt]

Multiplemama is giving you good advice.

Please don't leave the dog with your husband if /when you separate. It really sounds as though you would offer the best and most caring home. He wouldn't think things through, as he hasn't so far.

[haphazardbystarlight]

I didn't say she wasn't!

I'll try to add a picture to my profile at some point

[Topseyt]

Err, I didn't say you did.

[CheeseBuster]

Would take the pup to the vets ASAP and get it checked over. Responsible breeders don't let aim for pups ready for Xmas and don't let them get bought as Christmas pressies. And irresponsible breeders can lead to all sorts of puppy health problems.

[RedSoloCup]

Good luck OP whatever you decide, I wouldn't be without our nearly 2yo puppy but I did make OH wait until baby was 2.5.

[Adarajames]

I have a pointer x spaniel, a rescue from Spain; she's now 3 1/2 and just starting to calm down, so you'd best get training, crate training and dog proofing the house pronto!!

I also work in rescue, and I hope he won't be another of the March influx of puppies that are dumped on us as they are still shitting everywhere / biting / chewing because so many impulse buyers seem to think they come ready or self trained!

[GoodKingQuintless]

I x posted with your post below mine.

So the point of posting is more to do with another nail in your marriages coffin, then the dog. Totally get it now.

Good luck with dog and getting rid of thoughtless husband.

[Scuttlebutter]

OP, while I fully accept this puppy is utterly adorable now, I'd like you to fast forward to say ten or eleven months in the future. Your pup will be at the "teenage" stage, your DH will be a distant memory, and you'll have a toddler plus another child. It's a cold wet night, the toddler's teething and you're trying to juggle all teh domestic responsibilities and walk the stroppy teenage dog whose recall has just gone out the window.

I'm involved in rescue, and there are a number of risk factors for dogs to be relinquished. Unfortunately, your scenario pretty much completes the "perfect storm" checklist:- puppy at the teenage stage, young child under 2 in the house, adults in the house not in agreement about buying the dog, marriage breakdown, breed which is high-energy. The only factor missing is the financial one - please think through how you might be able to afford this dog if DH leaves - think about insurance, vet bills, worming, grooming etc. You mentioned you don't drive, how will you get DDog to vet appointments, training, grooming etc.?

Any breeder with a shred of integrity or decency would have this pup back tonight - it will be easy to rehome at this stage. Unfortunately, as others have said, rescues regularly get a bulge of abandoned pups every spring, and there's another point when dogs become teenagers and are not so fun anymore and the cuteness wears off. Yes, your DS would be upset if the dog goes now, but not nearly as upset as he will be if the dog has to go in a year's time.

Please, please think through how you would be able to give this breed/type of dog the energy and attention it needs along with your young DC (can you really, honestly commit to at least two hours a day of exercise once it's fully grown and it's bones have developed?). If you are going to be a single parent, would owning the dog for the next 15 years impact on any plans to return to work? You can't leave a high energy young dog all day if you do, and do you have easy access to doggy daycare/kennels/dog walkers where you are? Can you afford this?

Dog ownership with young children can work very successfully, but it needs a lot of commitment plus time and money. You've been landed in a horrible position by your numpty DH - I'm really sorry about that. I'd just like to ask you to please, please think through the issues I've mentioned and there is nothing wrong with being honest and not wanting to deal with them. For the pup's sake, and it's long term welfare, returning to its breeder may be the best choice to make tonight.

If you do decide to keep it, I wish you every success, but I would strongly advise you do take up training classes - they will help enormously and have been proven to have a protective effect against dog relinquishment, especially with a high energy spaniel.

Once again, I'm sorry you've been put in this position, and it won't be an easy choice.

[ChippingInLovesChristmasLights]

haphazzard. Having owned one of these nut jobs (dog not DH) I totally agree with Scuttle (and all the others) that keeping it, no matter how cute, might really, really not be for the best. The are very very energetic and a fecking nightmare if they don't get enough very energetic exercise...a couple of gentle school run walks is definitely not enough. I understand how hard it would be to send it back today, but it might be the best for DS and the dog in the long run. You will struggle to look after it if it stays with you and it doesn't sound like H would bother if it went with him.

[haphazardbystarlight]

I guess I'd better stay with DH then.

[GoodKingQuintless]

And now you can perhaps guess the real reason why your husband got a dog, to make leaving harder.