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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think there's absolutely nothing wring with a womsn having a bubble bath with her five year old ds?

93 replies

NatJon · 24/12/2014 17:46

A group of friends were out for lunch earlier today to catch up before the holidays. There are four of us and we were just chatting about what we were getting up to tonight.

Friend A tells us her and her ds (aged 5) always have a lovely bubble bath together on Christmas eve, get into their new pjs, watch a Christmas movie and leave out milk and cookies and a carrot before going to bed.

Friend B pulls a face and says "is he not a bit old to be seeing his mum's tits?" and "some people might think its a bit dodgy having a bath with a child as old as your ds"

Friend A was quite upset as she has done this every year since her ds was a baby. I told her to pay no attention to B and asked him what he thought he was playing at. He just shrugged and said "well I think its weird"

Poor A.:( she's had such a hard time of it lately and is very sensitive at the moment. Aibu to think B was being a knob and there's nothing wrong with this? He has upset her unnecessarily.

OP posts:

LapsedTwentysomething · 24/12/2014 19:28

I remember bathing with my mum until I was at least 7. We didn't waste water.

DD is nearly 5 and often asks me to bath with her.

PlantsAndFlowers · 24/12/2014 19:28

I often have a bath with DD and she is 6. She likes it. I will stop when she wants to. Friend B is weird.

Mouthfulofquiz · 24/12/2014 21:24

A work colleague of mine was a bit surprised that I had a bath with my then 18 month old!! I was a bit

CMOTDibbler · 24/12/2014 21:29

My ds is 8, and has a bath with me most weeks at his request. We have a large bath, and its a lovely quiet time for us.

Purpleflamingos · 24/12/2014 21:29

I have multiple baths every week with a 5 yr old ds and 3yr old dd. there's no chance of getting in by myself unless it's a weekend when DH is home.

sykadelic · 24/12/2014 21:31

I doubt I'd bathe with a child that age myself (I don't have children that age so no experience with it), and yes I'd probably think it was weird (as I do other posts here, again probably because I don't do it myself) but B was still rude when honestly it's not his business.

BathshebaDarkstone · 24/12/2014 21:32

I shower with DD and she's 7. I think the time to stop is when one of them starts to feel uncomfortable with it.

bellybuttonfairy · 24/12/2014 21:33

Surely its ok??? Dh has a bath in the evening after work and is usually joined with dd1 (nearly 8) dd2 (5) and ds1 (3)

Dd1 is starting to go to the shower but only because there isnt a lot of room!!

emms1981 · 24/12/2014 21:35

My sons are 5 and 7, we don't bath together but I have no problem with walking round naked in front of them, they might have a giggle and say I can see your boobies but no big deal is made out of it.

joanne1947 · 24/12/2014 21:36

What an idiot, nothing wrong at all. It is good that mum and son enjoy a bath together.

Roomsdoom · 24/12/2014 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TattiePants · 24/12/2014 21:38

I dream of the day that my two are too old to want to share a bath with me. DS(8) & DD(4) just have to hear the taps turn and they run through the house shedding clothes!

Aherdofmims · 24/12/2014 21:44

Out of interest, how old do you think is too old for a dad to still bath with kids? Different for ds and dd? Different for mums and dads?

Just wondering what people think.

Mehitabel6 · 24/12/2014 21:55

It ends naturally when the children want privacy.

WinterFire · 24/12/2014 22:02

Well, I was in a jacuzzi with strangers at the swimming pool a few months back. The men only had trunks on...

Which is weirder? That or bathing with children? I know which I think is weirder... And it's not the bath.

GazpachoSoup · 24/12/2014 22:02

I think it's weird.

forago · 24/12/2014 22:08

well i walk around naked so i dont think it is in the slightest bit weird. As others have said, its stops when they feel its weird.

Sparklingbrook · 24/12/2014 22:11

I don't walk around naked in front of the DC who are 13 and 15. It was never discussed as such and I don't know exactly when I stopped. I think I felt weird perhaps.

TravellingToad · 24/12/2014 22:12

Not weird at all! what a horrible thing for them to say. As long as both of them are happy that's fine.

haphazardbystarlight · 24/12/2014 22:30

I don't think there's anything sexual in it but it's come as a surprise how many of you have children of 7/8/9 who bath with them. My DS is 8 in March and no way would he come in a bath with me. I wouldn't feel comfortable if he did to be honest.

Lucyccfc · 24/12/2014 23:25

My DS, who is 9, still loves to have a bath with me. He doesn't particular bother about my boobs or lady garden, but does moan if I haven't shaved my legs lol. We have had discussions about 'private' parts of our bodies and he is now quite insistent that he washes his own 'bits'.

We had a bath tonight and he loved washing my hair for me and he loves having his back and legs massaged with soap. He says it relaxes him before bed.

We don't do it all the time (maybe once a fortnight) but he likes to have a bath together when there is something he wants to chat about or he is tired.

It's not weird at all, but I am sure there will come a time when he doesn't want to or feel the need to do it.

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 25/12/2014 00:37

I can remember bathing with my dad, about 45 years ago. I loved it, the bathwater was sooo deep!

I can understand why people have stopped at different ages, though. My eldest DS got uncomfortable with me seeing him naked at around 7. My other two DSs still don't care at 15 and 12. It can be down to the child's personality as much as the parent's.

RandomNPC · 25/12/2014 00:39

My two daughters used to bathe with me until they were about five or so; it was impossible to stop them! The worst thing was them pooing in my bath when they were much younger, and me not realising until it was starting to dissolve.

TheMightyMing · 25/12/2014 00:53

My son is 16- we are past the stage of baths together ( sad) but neither of us or DH would be remotely bothered I'd he saw us in the nude. Don't parade it- but aren't desperately modest either!!!

TinselHalo · 25/12/2014 01:02

My eldest is 5yo and is starting to grow out of bathing with me. It used to be the case that as soon as he heard the water he'd try climb in, now he sometimes wants to and sometimes wants to bath on his own. I think in another few months he'll be bathing entirely on his own. My 3yo still asks for me to get in every single bath with her though. And I still bath with the baby who often uses the bare skin and cuddles as a way of squeezing in an extra BF.

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