to be annoyed that we haven't been given presents in return?

[LeFrenchDilemma]

Dropped Christmas presents off at SILs today. Bought for her, her boyfriend, her ex husband (who this time last year was still with her so is still involved in family), her 3 kids (our niece/nephews) and the baby she is 5 months pregnant with.

We won't be seeing her again before Christmas and the only thing we got in return was a Christmas card. Nothing was mentioned about presents. She has plenty of money, in fact they just sold their home for a whacking profit. And I noticed she has bought for her new boyfriends nieces and nephews.

We still don't have Christmas presents from last year - apparently they were in her shed and she 'just needed to dig them out' - considering she's cleared out the shed since then for a house move I'm guessing the presents 'got lost'. BIL and his kids managed to get presents from her though and she had the nerve to complain the gifts she got from him return only cost a couple of quid despite the fact he'd just lost his job.

I know you don't give you receive, and I'm not fussed about getting a present myself, neither is DH, however our DD has gone another year without a gift from her aunty. her children are 2, 10 and 13 and we have bought decent gifts every year since they were born. My DD is almost 2 and whilst she won't know any different it still irks me to think she's thought so little of.

AIBU to be pissed off that our DD has missed out on yet another Christmas gift and we have just got a card?

Just say "we didn't get any presents from you this year, like last year, are we not doing presents any more?"

If she doesn't get your child presents, don't get hers presents one year and if they ask why, say "we've stopped doing them"

Ring them after Christmas and ask if the gifts were okay. Maybe there was a genuine oversight and she will have remembered. Otherwise ask her ahead of time next Christmas 'Shall we just get presents for each others kids this year?' She's clearly not into buying for adults, so it's a good way to get the idea in her head. If you get no gift for another year though, you need to have question her about it!

TooHasty From what the OP has said, it sounds as if she has bought presents for every other child in her life except OP's dd.

We gave DN and DN £75 each as they are teens, and know what fashion they like! As we do every year.
BIL and SIL have plenty of money, rental property etc.
We got a tin of biscuits in the shape of a dog from Sainsburys. Between two of us. They are apx £5.
Next year they will be getting something similar in return.
Some people are so tight they squeak when they walk!

Not RTFT

This is your partners family, right?

So he can sort it out. Talk to his brother or whatever he sees fit.

You seem to be in a situation where one man has had presents brought for his brother by his wife, meanwhile the brother's wife is buying (or not) the presents for her bloke's family.

Just say DP they're your family I can't be fucked with all this. You sort your family out next year and I'll do mine and then you wont' have all this sort of crap.

Just read a bit more of the backstory.

So this is your ex SIL and her new partner and your neices/nephews.

Still reckon your DP can sort it out.

Who to buy/ not to buy for is always tricky. Personally I find it a bit overwhelming having to buy for loads of people, so by mutual agreement no longer buy for close friends children. One friend suggested we stop doing so last year and the rest of us were all relieved but hadn't wanted to be the one to suggest it in case looked mean.

Perhaps your SIL thought you would get the hint after she didn't reciprocate the present buying last year, despite her feeble excuses. She may have only bought for the other family members that you saw the tags for because she had already received gifts from them this year before Xmas day so had to give back, but got yours too late to buy some in return?

Perhaps have a casual chat or text next year we'll before Xmas, to enquire whether she would prefer to exchange gifts for all, just kids or no gifts and cards only? Saves any crossed wires.