wish there was a formula for calculating wedding cash present amount

[twoopsie]

Not sure how much cash to give.

I'm just a normal guest, going on my own as a long drive away. Already spent 400+ on hen weekend and travel there. Know my cost for my meal is 90 odd. Well paid, but with 4 DC so not oodles of disposable income but both me and dh are higher rate tax payers.

Another couple are giving 50, but one of them is a best man, there are two of them going, they have no DC but earn averagly.

Hate cash as gifts. How much would you give?
Is cash anonymous at these things? I hear they have hired a postbox for 60 quid for gifts. Will people just be soting raw notes in?

50 miles to return the postbox... She really thinks she's going to make a killing on it, doesn't she? Shockingly vulgar.

I think the postbox is her fave part of the wedding, I've heard enough about it and they have to drive 50 miles the day after the wedding to return it...

Oh dear, sadly this is beginning to sound very ominous, if somewhat predictable

I sometimes wonder why folk who feel this way don't just sell tickets to their wedding and be done with it ...

Just another opinion here:
If I like the person (meaning that they are a close friend, maybe someone I grew up, a person I'd buy a drink, someone that I'd actually do something with, then I'd give them say £50.

If it was more someone I knew then £20 - £30.
If it was just someone at the periphery of our group of friends -not someone that I'd spend time with usually, then £10 - £20

If you really want a formula then I suppose it'd be the amount of times per year that I'd like to see them expressed in pounds.

I see close friends about once a week, so they'd get £52 (rounded down a bit).

How crass. If it were possible to back out, please do. If not, £20 or £25 at a max since you are travelling and spending quite a bit to go. It is not your fault they chose such an expensive wedding.

OMG I am amazed at those saying you cover the cost. So if you go as a couple you end up giving them a couple of hundred quid? Sod that!

I'm a high earner but would give friends £30, close friends £50 and close family £100. Having said that I think anyone who asks for money is grabby.

For weddings I go to, it's £40 from me and DS if it's in cash, or am prepared to spend more on a present, as occasionally a group of friends have pitched in to get one huge present.

It's a wedding, not a restaurant. Why on Earth would you cover the cost of food you didn't even choose the way you would in a restaurant. The bride and groom chose to host. Do you expect to 'cover your plate' when invited to a dinner party? If I chose to host one, I don't expect them to pay for it! Why is it so different for weddings. Yy, it is grabby to ask for money and slimy to pull that oh we don't want a gift but actually we want your money stunt.

I once saw someone on mumsnet who asked her guests for money for a deposit on a house and she didn't seem to see anything wrong with that .

I'd give £30 - £50, maybe £100 if it was a brother or sister.