To be pissed off to my friends reaction to my migraines

[RoastingYourChestnutsHurtsAlot]

And consider ditching her?

I have a very severe form of migraine that frequently put me in hospital.

It's meant I have had to cancel many a night out, many a catch up, take days off work etc etc. however I have one 'friend' whose response to these is 'you're over reacting they're only headaches surely they should be under control by now?' Along with 'lets go out and forget we're sick it'll do you good' and the classic 'it's not like they're that bad is it'

This is a person who claims she has migraines but then gets in her car and drives for an hour to a big shopping outlet centre, shops for 4 hours and drives home again during one.

I freely admit I don't know what's possible with a mild migraine so ^ may well be more than possible but to me if she had a genuine migraine, a genuine neurological debilitating life long condition, she wouldn't be so quick to tell me how to manage mine? So AIBU to be pissed off with her?

Yanbu, I suffered migraines as a child I would in bed for a few days with a sick bucket, the pain was awful and teachers and school friends didn't understand why I had to have days off for a "headache" . Thankfully I stopped having them regularly, I'll have one once every few years but it compares nothing to the ones I had as child.

I have full sympathy for you, maybe sit her down and just tell her straight one last time if she doesn't stop it then maybe it is time to ditch.

migranes are horrendous and can last for days! I get stroke like symptoms to start with, numbness and can speak properly. Get tunnel vision.

Then comes a horrible dizzy headache and the next day I get an upset tummy and my head hurts.

Your friend is being unkind about something she's lucky she's never had!

Sometimes I can do things when I have a migraine, sometimes I can't. When you have DC to look after and no-one else to help then you just manage most of the time. I can manage a mild/moderate migraine by taking tablets and napping whenever I can, both which can take the edge off enough for me to look after the DC. I don't like it, it's agony and I end up crying but I can even drive sometimes.

Your friend should understand if she really does get migraines so it doesn't sound like she does. XH used to take himself to bed with migraines but expected me to carry on as normal when I had one and have sex, the wanker so I often think that his migraines can't have been real because if they were he would have understood what I was going through. My DDs get migraines and I pull out all the stops to help them because I know how painful and debilitating they are.

I find the migraines with the pain much harder to deal with than the ones that have caused temporary paralysis.

My migraines have much reduced since the menopause began.

YANBU. I've suffered most of my adult life from them & I'm pretty sure I'm misunderstood because of them - I'm not a very socialable person, however admittedly I guess I do have 'bitchy resting face' or whatever it's called but with daily chronic migraine - it's kind of difficult to walk about with a smile!

I would have thought your friend should be more understanding? As others have said its dibilitating and frustrating as you dread your next attack & can't really plan anything.

I wouldn't worry too much about your friends attitude towards your migraines, she's obviously ignorant - next time she suggests going out or makes a remark, simply explain that what she suffers from is likely to be a 'mild headache' & tell her exactly what it's like for you. How much of a friend is she? One you want to keep in touch with regularly or are you just not bothered about? It's your call! I do hope you find some relief from the migraines & keep pushing at your GP & the Drs @ the hospital for some kind of treatment, I've just had my 2nd bout of Botox for migraines - jury is still out - 1st time my migraines were horrendous! This time not too bad, only I've had the bloody flu since!

Yanbu I get very severe migraines and am violently sick for 12 hours with throbbing pain. Have also had stroke type symptoms. It is in no way anything like a 'normal' headache. There is no way I can get out of bed or even take the kids to school etc.

drbonnieblossman Imigran is what I take and it has also been life-changing for me. The generic name is sumatriptan succinate.

Resurrecting an old thread but found it in search and had a couple of questions.

For those of you who suffer from hemiplegic migraines, how often do you get them and do they swap sides in terms of where the pain is. My only two were only left sided paralysis and right sided head pain. Currently suffering with continuous left sided head pain, slight numbness but nowhere near as blinding as those migraines were. Just hope it's not developing into one, feeling rubbish.

Well I've only ever had three migraines in my life and they are very, very different from your standard headache and each time I thought I might actually die from the pain. And the nausea - oh my God! I couldn't stand up, speak, think or function, never mind go out and enjoy myself! Thankfully they stopped once I'd gone through puberty.

I had heard some chronic sufferers say that they know it's a migraine because of the tunnel vision and blurring but that the nausea and the headache can be low level and manageable sometimes. But just because they experience that doesn't mean everyone does.

I have a migraine now. I didn't realise it was one for a long time: they usually wake me up in the early hours, but this one was very mild when I got up and got steadily worse. The headache is always in exactly the same place. I've taken an Imigran Recovery (exactly the same as my prescription sumatriptan btw despite a post upthread) and now just feel wiped out. The pain had me in tears earlier.

FOFONAR if you have medication you can take, take it now.

No medication, I get bad headaches monthly, but not migraines. Only had two hemiplegic migraines of my own diagnosis but last one was 3 years ago.

Fononar if your on Facebook then there is a really good group called 'UK migraine support group' we hav a number of suffers with hemiplegic migraine. You mite find it useful.

From my own experience I can say that head pain can persist and then later develop into a full blown migraine. I also suffer numbness down one side but have never have paralysis.

l can function to a degree with a migraine if I take the right drugs at the right time. if not I'd spend half my life in bed.

Thanks Migril, I'll take a look. It's a frightening experience but I'm almost hoping this is another one as atleadt I'd know what this continuous pain is. It's been on and off for a week now.

? How do you know they are just headaches, many people with migraine go undiagnosed. As people don't always realise what the symptoms are.

What you have describe hear, left sided head pain and numbness could easily be classed as migraine. Not all will be the same pain level, sometimes the aura is worse then the pain some people even get aura and no pain. It's very common also to get more then one type of migraine or for them to differ. You should really get these all checked out by a doctor by the way.

Tbh I assumed a migraine would be the blinding pain I've experienced before, I can type and function through this though I've been exhausted this week.

Yanbu she sounds very unsympathetic

I suffer from migraines, had my first aged 8 and I'm 33 now. They are horrendous and I end up in a dark room in agony for at least 24 hrs. The disturbed vision, pain, numbness and weakness in face, tongue, arms and legs, vomiting and inability to think or speak is awful. I hate them.

I think that's why a lot of people don't often realise they have migraine. I know as I have a history but my pain level can vary a lot from one to another. It's migraine baised on the other systums you get with the one sided pain not the actual level of pain. Hope that helps.

It does thank you.

Sounds like my family and collegues reactions! Iv suffered since i was young.
The migraines vary in intensity.
They got so bad a year ago in pain and how many days they lasted that im now on daily medication.
Iv tried loads of different migraine tablets, also find cocodamol useful to take along side them for the pain.
Work were never very helpful.
I had to work with mine except for the one time it effected my eyesight as if id taken time off everytime i had a migraine id have been off every week!
I think unless people have them themselves they can't understand.
People have always said to me that they've suffered with headaches before but they've just gone out etc
Soon as id finished work id go home straight to bed! Even if it was 5pm! The pain was so intense it took everything out of me it was a struggle just to be at work.

Your friend is no friend. I get relatively mild migraines and as long as I take medication as soon as I feel the early stages i can just about manage and usually cope until DH comes home from work.
However, I have had full blown migraines where I've crawled into bed and I worked with a friend who had horrific migraines. I might be able to manage with my milder migraines but certainly wouldn't want to go shopping/driving or anything that I didn't have to do - want I want to do is go to bed!
Your friend has no empathy.

FOFONAR I get hemiplegic migraines. For me it's a horrific pain in left side of head, & a lot of other symptoms on left side too - muscle pain, shooting nerve pain, my face droops, eye closes, my teeth ache, I can't move or fully feel my arm/leg etc. I can't get any words out. I generally don't vomit but have occasionally. I have sound & textural aura but no visual aura. Sometimes it feels like I have a cold patch of water sloshing about inside my head. Oddly, I get a facial twitch on the right side of my face. I also have a definite difference in temperature between the left & right side of my head - DH can feel when I have a migraine as the left side of my head is much warmer.

I'm on Topiramate for my migraines, probably will be for life. It's crap - they cause side effects including birth defects. I started with my migraines due to going on the pill for a month, over a decade ago. The medication doesn't make them go away but it means I can usually function when I have one, more or less. Without the medication I was in a terrible state, they lasted days with very few breaks in between.

FOFO

I was told by my doctor that the easy way to tell the difference between a headache and the myriad symptoms of migraine was to take a triptan (immigran etc) the triptans are NOT painkillers and will do nothing for a headache. But will act on a migraine, if taken early enough.

As for sides- mine are nearly always right sided, intense headache, like my skull is about to shatter accompanied by Alice in Wonderland style sensory hallucinations, nausea, dizziness and other fun stuff. Those ones usually last 3 to 5 days, and never less than 2 days. I can usually function through most of it, feel shit, but I can drag myself around. About 1 in 20 are left sided, there the head pain is much less, just a sensation of pressure rather than a splitting pain, but all the other symptoms are much worse, to the point I find them much more debilitating than the right sided ones. I often have to give up and go to bed with the left siders.

Telephone i take those too. Im sad that ill never be able to conceive while im on these, and its looking like ill be on these for the rest of my life also ?? feels awful that i have to decide between having a baby or not having searing pain everyday.
My head also goes extremely hot. I wear cold compresses on my head and tight band for the tension.

I've never had an actual migraine (well, not what I'm imagine to be one) but I do occasionally get really bad sinus headaches that are totally debilitating.

I can't sleep, it's worse if I lie down and they usually last two days. I feel totally wiped out once they are gone, electric lights seem to make them worse. Cold and sinus pills help, as does cutting out pasta

Anyone that says headaches are not that bad has obviously never had one.

YANBU. People don't understand invisible illness/disability in general... but this woman sounds completely ignorant and insensitive as you have obviously explained the situation to her already.

A fair weather friend, ditch her.

I've been suffering from migraines since I was 12. I was diagnosed with migraine by my GP over 20 years later when the headache had lasted over 48 hours and was the worst I'd ever had. That diagnosis and Sumatriptan have changed my life.