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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to open Christmas presents on Christmas Day?

29 replies

lemoncurd20 · 20/12/2014 11:19

I'm guessing people will say I am.

I find it really, really uncomfortable to open presents/them to open presents I've given in front of the person who has given it to me, unless it is immediate family, boyfriend or best friend. I'd go as far as saying I hate it.

I'm not seeing one set of family until the 29th (though I saw them last week and gave them their presents) and they aren't giving the presents until then because they like to see us opening them, they know I hate it.

Does anyone else feel like this? I also think Christmas presents should be opened on Christmas day...!

OP posts:
ilovepowerhoop · 20/12/2014 11:23

The main presents should but there will always be some to open on different dates e.g. I will see my mum on Boxing Day and will take presents over then so I can see them being opened. I think you are a bit U.

ShakesBootyFlabWobbles · 20/12/2014 11:26

My aunt is exactly the same. I may have seen her open a present once in my life.

I would like to see her open them but I am happy that she does what is comfortable, it is her Christmas how she likes it, so YANBU.

JennyBlueWren · 20/12/2014 11:29

If I knew you only liked to open presents on Christmas Day then I'd try my best to get them to you for then. But then if you know your mum enjoys seeing you open them then you need to consider that.

We're much more lax about present giving in my family. We're scattered across the country and my brother is often travelling at Christmas so sometimes we post presents and sometimes we wait to see each other. I've had Christmas presents at Easter (along with my birthday but in appropriate wrapping). This year we're going to in-laws but won't be able to take all our presents up and back down again so need to decide what to take and whether it's better to open the rest beforehand (Christmas Eve) or wait till we get home on the 27th.

Hobby2014 · 20/12/2014 11:30

Oh god I hate opening presents in front people!
But IABU because I love to see other people open theirsConfused

Original poster
lemoncurd20 · 20/12/2014 11:30

@ilovepowerhoop we never open gifts on other days, these are the only people that do it. Thanks @ShakesBootyFlatWobbles I find it stressful and not at all enjoyable, like I say it's fine if it's immediate family but I find it awkward if it's not.

The same family does the same with their children, so children don't get gifts on Christmas day either. I don't understand it.

OP posts:
madsadbad · 20/12/2014 11:32

No I don't think you are being unreasonable, I dislike opening things in front of others but can just about bear it.
I do enjoying seeing presents being opened however if someone finds it excruciating I would have no issue at all, if that person is important to me to buy something then I obviously care about them and would want them to feel comfortable, that is more important than me being a bit selfish and putting my needs/wants/expectations above theirs.
Do the people know how you feel, I know you have said they know but do they really know how horrible you find it?

livegoldrings · 20/12/2014 11:35

My dd(10) has just been giving me the exact opposite aibu as she has some presents from relatives under the tree she is desperate to open and has already felt them many times! Also she has not been well and is looking very sorry for herself, I felt a bit mean saying she has to wait.

LineRunner · 20/12/2014 11:39

Poking presents under the tree is a rite of passage Xmas Smile

Original poster
lemoncurd20 · 20/12/2014 11:39

@madbadsad Yes they do, they do it every year and I always say please would it be ok if I opened them later (or preferably earlier but I don't want to be rude) and they always force me to open them then...

@livegoldrings bless her, I do enjoy opening presents - of course I do - but just not when being watched and worse, judged on my reaction!

OP posts:
Deux · 20/12/2014 11:44

YANBU. I feel the same. But then again, I also don't agree with the, oh it's the thought that counts sentiment, either. Some gifts are just plain thoughtless and are all about satisfying some need in the giver, same as the need to watch the recipient open them.

livegoldrings · 20/12/2014 11:45

About the OP I think maybe the relatives don't "get" it being a real problem that she doesn't like opening the gifts in front of people and just can't imagine it being a problem as they are quite outgoing people themselves.

dexter73 · 20/12/2014 11:45

What is it you hate about opening presents in front of people?

SwedishEdith · 20/12/2014 11:47

I get you OP. I used to find it extremely uncomfortable opening presents - that whole weight of expectation. I've found it easier if I just assume it'll be awful so anything better is a bonus and I can respond accordingly.

BathshebaDarkstone · 20/12/2014 11:47

YANBU. Christmas day is the only day to open Christmas presents IMO. Xmas Smile

Mydelilah · 20/12/2014 11:51

I do think you are being U. Part of the joy of presents is in the giving and thinking of things to give tgat the receiver will appreciate. This is what I teach my children, and its kind of the whole point of Christmas in my opinion...If someone loves you and wants to give you a gift then don't deny them the pleasure of seeing you open it if thats what they want.

Of course if these people give you awful tat or things that are completely inappropriate for you then I understand it could be awkward to put on a 'I love it' face (as I regularly have to with MIL). But then you're not going to enjoy opening them anymore on Christmas day either are you!

GahLinDah · 20/12/2014 11:53

I understand op, and also very much agree with Edith I think the whole weight of expectation has a lot to do with it.
I'm fine with immediate family but am very uncomfortable in front of others, I recently left work to go to a new job, everybody gathered in the office to give and watch me open my present - so lovely of them but I hate being centre of attention at the best of times.

Original poster
lemoncurd20 · 20/12/2014 11:57

I'm glad I'm not the only one!! - @Mydelilah they do often give me things I would never use, in fact they're the only people that do this so perhaps that's part of it.

Completely agree with Edith and GahLinDah.

OP posts:
SwedishEdith · 20/12/2014 11:57

Oh opening presents in the office is excruciating. Just need to have a lot of stock "ooh that's interesting /unusual /thoughtful " type responses ready

HappyYoni · 20/12/2014 13:05

I've told everyone at work, friends etc that I have a phobia of wrapping paper, so when they give me gifts they are never wrapped up and I find that makes it much easier. I don't mind being handed something and going 'ahh, that's lovely' I just can't bear the unwrapping!

Pantone363 · 20/12/2014 13:10

OP I feel you!

Ever since I was a child I've HATED opening gifts in front of other people. I can just about manage it in front of the DC.

It's excruciating. We're going to DPs family on Xmas day and he said there's about 10 presents under the tree for me. I know people will say it's ridiculous but I'm dreading it.

Would be so much happier taking my presents away on my own and opening them.

Original poster
lemoncurd20 · 20/12/2014 17:21

Pantone363 - I completely understand! My partner doesn't understand it at all and thinks I'm just making a fuss over nothing (note this fuss consisted of me asking him about it)... Excruciating is exactly the right word!

OP posts:
ElizabethHoover · 20/12/2014 17:23

op you are an adult

get over it

ClashCityRocker · 20/12/2014 17:34

I was thinking about starting a similar thread, but didn't have the balls.

I really dislike opening presents in front of people. I do really, really appreciate the gifts and am fortunate enough to have family that tend to buy me really nice, thoughtful gifts.

But I worry about coming across as really false or saying the wrong thing.

Plus, even if you are an adult, a collection of various presents under the tree when you come down on christmas morning is still exciting and always seems so much more full of potential rather than dribs and drabs of presents.

I'm not fussed at seeing other people open their presents, either.

MinceSpy · 20/12/2014 17:39

Lemoncurd you are a fully functioning adult, just say no. Put the gifts to one side and take them home.

PicaK · 20/12/2014 17:50

Oh gosh - I have a friend who's always been a bit funny about opening presents. I've always assumed it was just a hang up about it not bbeing the right day. I've egged her on in the past etc. And I'm a pretty empathetic person normally. Never going to push her again. Stand up for yourself and say no.

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