To expect a thank you?

[anicesitdownandshutup]

I'm on a facebook group for Mums and one Mum was giving out about ex partner criticising their daughter's clothing. The Mum explained on the group how she didn't have money to buy new clothes. I offered to pass on some of my DDs old clothes as I have nobody to pass them on to. The Mum collected the bag of clothes and thanked me at the time but that was that. I would have expected that once she went through the bag she would have sent me a message to thank me.....I know that you don't give to get but there were some really nice dresses and quality stuff in there. I would think that if she wanted me to send her stuff again in the future that she'd want thank me now.....AIBU?

Thanks Cabrinha. It wasn't really kind if I'm expecting gratitude/validation etc or to hold on to my DD's childhood through someone else's child.
Girls just seem to want to grow up so quickly and be teenagers.
Going to go and drink wine and write thank you cards for all those people who sent thank you cards to my thank you cards.

Yabu - nice to pass on the clothes, you were thanked at the time. Get over it. Passed on a lot of clothing over the years, never thought of discussing the lack of gratitude over the internet!

Maybe she has a lot more going on in her life than worrying about writing thank you messages or cards. Some people have actual problems!

I think the OP is getting a hard time here.

I sort of know what you mean. I would have expected some kind of follow up such as "by the way, the clothes fit dd lovely" or something similar or an acknowledgement that she has at least looked through the clothes.

That made me laugh, you thank you cards for cards

I suppose everyone if different, but I really had a stage of not wanting to give away anything my daughter had ever worn! It really was hard. I was brutal, I think, but I still have 3 cloth nappies that I remember her in. She might be charmed by them for 5 minutes when she's older, but most likely will think "bloody hell mum, it wasn't the 50s, they had pampers you know". They really do grow up too fast.

Just take a deep breath and accept the recipient won't care about the history of the clothes, but that she will care that they've helped her out. You've still shared the love around!

YABU

You gave her some stuff
She said thanks

That's a perfectly reasonable complete exchange surely?

When I've given stuff to people I've got a verbal thanks
When I've been given stuff I've given a verbal thanks

It has literally never occurred to me to either give or expect anything more

Also lol @ pre-loved. My car is "pre-loved" apparently - it means second hand in marketing speak, it's not different.

If op is anything like me she may have had an emotional attachment to the clothes. I found it very hard to part with baby clothes and kept them until my son was 5.
I gave a couple of boys duvets away once and the lady who had one sent me a lovely message thanking me and I was really pleased. Doesn't take much to send a private f.b message.

Perhsps she can give you a certificate and a sticker. Fgs, she has said thank you.

YANBU to admit you were BU.

Credit where due - not many posters admit that.

You did a nice thing - nuff said

Okay, she said thank you to your face, in person, when you handed overthe stuff.

End of.

she doesn't have to follow up with any comment.

The greatest thatnks you can have is that the child wears them and likes them.
But you don't need to know that. At all.

Then, perhaps she'll pass them forward when she's finished with them, so someone else can enjoy them.

Yes, I know what you mean, it'd be nice to know if you got it right, if she actually liekd them or wore any of them, but you don't need to know, you just want to.

Could be worse - I gave some clothes to someone I know for their DS and they chose a few and gave the rest back (which is fine, they were given that option), but when I offered the next size up, they politely declined. They said it was because they'd got loads from a cousin, but secretly, I'm worried that they didn't like what I offered the first time. How about that, then? Does that bat your "she didn't thank me twice"?

Yanbu. I would have followed up with a message - especially after finding that the bag had treats like princess dresses!

YABU when she thanked you face to face
but
a message like 'DD loved the clothes and if you ever have anything else to pass on it is gratefully received'
is a lovely extra and I expect the recipient was gratified

She did thank you.

I would have sent an extra thanks and I would have liked to receive an 'extra' thanks if I had been the OP however I think it's ok not to too.

So, OP, Sorry but yabu but very reasonable to have accepted that you are

(YANBU to ignore the ridiculous posters on this thread though . I love your panto analogy. It's soooo true )