AIBU to not want my husband to bake my son's birthday cake

[sandfish]

I like baking cakes and enjoy making special birthday cakes for my children. However, with my Son's birthday in 5 days time, I'm struggling with horrible morning (all day) sickness and can't bring myself to open the fridge to look for eggs most of the time let alone bake. I'd feel sad for my son if he didn't have a special cake for his party, so have found a recommended local cake making lady who might be able to make for me, for a fee naturally. Was about to book it, when mentioned the plan to my husband and he suddenly expressed a desire to bake the cake himself.

This would be all well and good if it were not for the fact that in the 20 years I have known him he has never baked a cake, nor shown any interest. I imagine I will need to end up standing over him trying not to be sick into the mixture. The result, even if edible, is not likely to be very exciting.

He is miffed with me and had gone out for a run in huff, because I suggested he was being cheap and not wanting to pay for it, and that he would need help with baking and I wasn't up to it. He is in a grump because apparently he thought it was a lovely gesture he had made, he wants to do it, and I 'think men are stupid and can't do anything'.

I'm peeved because he seems to think baking is so piss easy he can just knock out a fancy cake for son no bother, so clearly he doesn't value the efforts I put in to these things. And I think he just doesn't want to pay.

AIBU? Is he? Do I let him bake it and cack it right up just to prove a point? Or go ahead and order a cake anyway?

[TheIronGnome]

He could always bake it, and cake lady could decorate it?

[MollyHoHoHoHooper]

Some posters are being overly sensitive on behalf of Sandfish's DH.

My DH is an awful cook, last time he attempted to bake was a box of brownie mix and he managed to burn them to a crisp.

I don't think he is an incompetent person, he's just crap at baking.

[JuxaSnogUndertheMistletoe]

Sandfish, I'm interested in how it comes out! How old is your ds?

Getting your dh to cook Xmas dinner is a truly splendid idea. Give him Delia's Xmas book - it has all the timings in and is v useful for first-timers!

[chocomochi]

Glad you changed your mind OP (YWBU, but totally understand where you are coming from - it's "my!" kitchen at home!).

It's sweet your husband wants to bake the cake. I can bake, and creations tastes great and my decorating skills are next to none, but my DCs think it's brilliant as they say "I think it's the best cake in the world because you've made it mummy!"

[Honeydragon]

I'm a massive tit when I'm pregnant, I had hyperemisis both times and when not hospitalised was massively pissed of at stuff I couldn't do, that was normally a walk in the park.

So I was a tit to poor dh, I'd get pissed off at him doing something for me and bitch it wouldn't be done probably.

I was just angry that I wasn't doing it my way.

The poor long suffering sod quite rightly would ignore me and just get on and do stuff till I had a word with myself and apologised to him.

Neither your Dh's cake or the cake makers cake will be YOUR cake. But if you want one made with love for your Ds than you have one made by dh.

If he's not totally keen on baking, the Wrights Madeira mix is very good. I have it the cupboard for short notice fancy cakes, it's idiot proof and turns out fine.

[grocklebox]

My kids loved the cakes I made for them the year I broke my dominant arm! They were quite hideous but they loved that I did it anyway, because its tradition to have a homemade cake.
Although to be honest the cakes I make with full use of two hands are not really that much better

Kids love the effort.

[skylark2]

How old is your son?

Mine's had a major input into making his own cake since he was eight or so, and has been making them on his own since he was ten. It really is not difficult to make a basic sponge. It has four ingredients. You mix them together, put into two cake tins and cook for the time the recipe says at the temperature it says. Everything else is unnecessary extras which a beginner does not need to worry about. Is your DH really incompetent at the level that a primary school kid can manage?

I still make and spread the icing (and DS then does the decorating), but that's hardly rocket science either and your DH could get ready made.

I think the saddest advert on TV at the moment is the one where the dad makes a perfectly recognisable ladybird cake and then calls a professional cake maker because it doesn't look like the fancy picture on the internet.

[ouryve]

DH doesn't do much in the kitchen, but often bakes me a birthday cake.

Just let him do it. It won't matter if it's not perfect. It won't matter if he doesn't organise himself exactly the same way that you do.

[skittycat]

For what it's worth, it might turn out better than you think. I am a hopeless cook, and have so far managed to bake three cakes in my lifetime. All of which have tasted pretty good. (Sponge, lemon drizzle and chocolate orange). My only downfall with the decorating has been not knowing that excess food colouring = disgusting taste.

I'm baking a cake for Christmas this year - all of my family (and me included) expect it to turn out badly one way or the other as I'm decorating it too... But I think they love the fact that I'm trying, and I think your son will love the fact that his dad has tried too.

(I've seen that you've said you are unreasonable, so let him try and sit back and relax with a warm drink and some medicine!)

[Bulbasaur]

I can't cook and even I can make cakes.

It's not that hard to do. You just follow a recipe and make sure you pull it out of the oven on time. Just give him the basic cake recipe, nothing fancy.

[skittycat]

*try and YOU sit back...

Grr

[Jessbun16]

Looking at this from the other side - DP is the cook in our house, if I tried to bake a cake it would likely be a disaster. If he said he thought I would need his help making anything I wouldn't assume he thought he was superior (ffs), or that I'm an idiot not capable of following a recipe, just that it would be easier all round for him to help and there'd be less chance of it going wrong Some of the posts on here are more than a bit over the top!

[TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge]

Anyone can bake a cake,it's incredibly simple.It's decorating it to look like something that's the difficult bit

[MokunMokun]

Yes, he can make a basic sponge. Cover it in Betty Crocker icing and stick sweets or sprinkles on top. If your son is into a particular toy like Lego then he can buy a Lego figure to stand on the top. Your son would be thrilled.

This is where the OP drip feeds that the son is 36.

[Morloth]

Good call, a cake disaster (and it probably won't be) made by Dad would make my kids happier than a perfect bought one.

And yes, get him to cook Christmas Dinner!

[howtodrainyourflagon]

Yabu. If you doubt his baking abilities get him to use a betty crocker mix. I can bake just fine from scratch yet I always use betty mix for kids birthday cake as it's ultra reliable and holds its shape when you frost it.

[CattyCatCat]

Let him do it. The cake will crash and burn. Then laugh and buy a replacement at Asda.

[MultipleMama]

DH cooks but never bakes. He attempted his first cake last year. He followed a simple chocolate cake recipe to a T. Bloody thing tasted better than any of mine and I bake whenever I get the chance. I know bribe him to make one every few months!

Don't underestimate him. Let your DH bake your DS a cake. Your DH will feel proud and chuffed he made one and your DS will get a special rare cake made by his dad :)

[Bulbasaur]

Oh, that reminds me. My parents just did a cake with a river, green icing, and put green dyed coconut on top of the cake (Sandwich baggy, coconuts, drops of food coloring, squeeze and squish until all are green). Then they put my favorite cartoon character action figures on top, which I got to keep. I'm sure with a couple youtube video tutorials he could make a nicely decorated cake.

He'll manage. :)

If it's bad, you'll laugh about it later. If it's mediocre DS will have forgotten in a few days. If it's good, you've got a new chef to put to work around the kitchen when you need a break.

[Ericaequites]

A box mix makes a lovely and foolproof cake. Just use butter instead of oil, and add a teaspoon of vanilla.

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

Will you post a picture of the cake when he's done please? In return I will supply one of the gingerbread house I made with the kids, inspired by GBBO. It went in the bin

Sadly it really did!

[vitabrits]

Definitely report back op.

And what's this 6/4/4/2 thing that doublevalium mentioned? ?

[MokunMokun]

I think it's 6 ounces of self-raising flour, 4 ounces butter, 4 ounces of sugar and 2 eggs. That's what my mum always used.

[Bogeyface]

I thought that people were over dramatizing this whole fancy cake making business. I mean really a basic sponge is easy enough to make, and then all you need is some icing and a steady hand, right?

WRONG! :o

Turns out that there is some faulty wiring between my imagination and my hands, you know that advert for Google where he is making a ladybird cake? Thats what my efforts are like. In my head they will be perfect creations that would make Mary Berry hang up her apron in shame. Several hours later I have something that wouldnt look out of place in a disaster movie after the ship has hit the iceberg and sunk to the bottom of the sea. I am better now but it has taken years of practice.

I dont think that the OP worrying that he doesnt quite get how tricky it can be is her BU at all. However, I do get that her husband wanted to make it for traditions sake, which is very nice, every man I know would say "Oh dont worry, we'll just buy one" it wouldnt cross their minds to have a bash themselves. I would be more concerned about wasted ingredients tbh, making properly iced cakes isnt particularly cheap, but I am glad you have sorted it OP :)

Hope it goes well, and I hope you get some respite from the MS soon....sucks big style doesnt it?