AIBU to not want my husband to bake my son's birthday cake

[sandfish]

I like baking cakes and enjoy making special birthday cakes for my children. However, with my Son's birthday in 5 days time, I'm struggling with horrible morning (all day) sickness and can't bring myself to open the fridge to look for eggs most of the time let alone bake. I'd feel sad for my son if he didn't have a special cake for his party, so have found a recommended local cake making lady who might be able to make for me, for a fee naturally. Was about to book it, when mentioned the plan to my husband and he suddenly expressed a desire to bake the cake himself.

This would be all well and good if it were not for the fact that in the 20 years I have known him he has never baked a cake, nor shown any interest. I imagine I will need to end up standing over him trying not to be sick into the mixture. The result, even if edible, is not likely to be very exciting.

He is miffed with me and had gone out for a run in huff, because I suggested he was being cheap and not wanting to pay for it, and that he would need help with baking and I wasn't up to it. He is in a grump because apparently he thought it was a lovely gesture he had made, he wants to do it, and I 'think men are stupid and can't do anything'.

I'm peeved because he seems to think baking is so piss easy he can just knock out a fancy cake for son no bother, so clearly he doesn't value the efforts I put in to these things. And I think he just doesn't want to pay.

AIBU? Is he? Do I let him bake it and cack it right up just to prove a point? Or go ahead and order a cake anyway?

[BarbarianMum]

I'm quite good at cakes and always do the kids birthday cakes. One year an over ambitious attempt at an Octonauts submarine saw us running to Tesco. It wasn't the end of the world.

[JuxaSnogUndertheMistletoe]

MokunMokun ... it's only cake ??? It's only cake? How can you say such a thing? That's blasphemy, that is.

[MokunMokun]

I can see in 5 years time when he's on the Great British Bake Off he'll be able to tell the story of his wife's morning sickness and his son's birthday and that's how it all got started.

Or it might be shit but it's only cake.

[Psycobabble]

I don't get it. Let him bake it and help you out and do a nice thing for your dc so what if it's not perfect who cares

Men are actually quite capable human beings you know

[BestZebbie]

He should be given the chance to make a birthday cake if he wants to, if you usually do it - and a cake from Daddy will be better than one from a shop because Daddy made it especially, the gesture is even more meaningful if it is outside Daddy's usual comfort zone.
I agree that a basic sponge cake is not rocket science, but if he is worried (him! not you!) then there is always prepackaged cake mix....

[WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid]

Aff at read the fucking thread

Hope the morning sickness isn't too bad today

[MonsoonAlan]

Sand fish you are marvellous. I would have felt the same as you in that situation. You have been gracious in the onslaught of Aibu and changed your mind.

Aibu is a damn scary place. Ignore the idiots who haven't read the rest of the thread before posting (athrawes for example...)

[SanityClause]

There's no point in my typing this, because the posters it's for won't be reading it, anyway, but RTFT, PEOPLE!

[Mehitabel6]

There are lots of books on it, YouTube clips etc- it is not difficult to just follow instructions.

[Branleuse]

its not hard to make cakes.

[Cathycat]

If your son said the same thing in 10 years time (ie., I am going to try to bake a cake by myself for the first time) what would you say? Similarly if you tried to create something for the first time how would you like your husband to respond? I think it's great to develop new skills and other people's responses can be key in this.

[Athrawes]

Jeez. Let the man bake the cake and get off your precious high horse. It's baking a cake, following the instructions, not brain surgery. Seriously is this all you can do and so need to protect your territory?

[SugarPlumTree]

Well done OP for remaining gracious in the face of people still going on at you.

There are some of us who are challenged on the cake making front and whose sponge cakes resemble flat biscuits. My DS has such a Mother and didn't know the pleasures of a home baked cake.

Then one day he decided he wanted and Xbox cake. Much male huddling in the kitchen ensued and expensive trips to Hobby craft for coloured icing. The result was a magnificent sponge covered with white icing and an impressive looking black x box controller with correct coloured buttons. Total result from DH and DS and I had never seen DH baking before then.

Hope the cake making goes well and you feel better OP.

[Mehitabel6]

Men can't do right! They are accused of not doing enough to help and then when they offer they are dismissed as useless before they have even tried!

[40somethingwonderful]

Sorry but I think YABU

Let him make the cake, he might surprise you.

[Mehitabel6]

Let him go ahead - you may well be impressed.

[Mehitabel6]

If you are not well it seems sensible to let him. I expect he will be fine- maybe that is the problem! We used to have a novelty Christmas cake every year which my son used to do once he turned about 10 yrs. He had igloos, ski slopes and all sorts, so if he could do it I am sure an adult can!

[Bogeyface]

I use the weighing eggs method. Good enough for the WI so good enough for me. Its good too because you can make as much mixture as you like without faffing about multiplying up the ingredients. 2 eggs makes enough for a standard sandwich, so you just add an egg for each extra layer you want.

[Bogeyface]

I thought that people were over dramatizing this whole fancy cake making business. I mean really a basic sponge is easy enough to make, and then all you need is some icing and a steady hand, right?

WRONG! :o

Turns out that there is some faulty wiring between my imagination and my hands, you know that advert for Google where he is making a ladybird cake? Thats what my efforts are like. In my head they will be perfect creations that would make Mary Berry hang up her apron in shame. Several hours later I have something that wouldnt look out of place in a disaster movie after the ship has hit the iceberg and sunk to the bottom of the sea. I am better now but it has taken years of practice.

I dont think that the OP worrying that he doesnt quite get how tricky it can be is her BU at all. However, I do get that her husband wanted to make it for traditions sake, which is very nice, every man I know would say "Oh dont worry, we'll just buy one" it wouldnt cross their minds to have a bash themselves. I would be more concerned about wasted ingredients tbh, making properly iced cakes isnt particularly cheap, but I am glad you have sorted it OP :)

Hope it goes well, and I hope you get some respite from the MS soon....sucks big style doesnt it?

[MokunMokun]

I think it's 6 ounces of self-raising flour, 4 ounces butter, 4 ounces of sugar and 2 eggs. That's what my mum always used.

[vitabrits]

Definitely report back op.

And what's this 6/4/4/2 thing that doublevalium mentioned? ?

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

Will you post a picture of the cake when he's done please? In return I will supply one of the gingerbread house I made with the kids, inspired by GBBO. It went in the bin

Sadly it really did!

[Ericaequites]

A box mix makes a lovely and foolproof cake. Just use butter instead of oil, and add a teaspoon of vanilla.

[Bulbasaur]

Oh, that reminds me. My parents just did a cake with a river, green icing, and put green dyed coconut on top of the cake (Sandwich baggy, coconuts, drops of food coloring, squeeze and squish until all are green). Then they put my favorite cartoon character action figures on top, which I got to keep. I'm sure with a couple youtube video tutorials he could make a nicely decorated cake.

He'll manage. :)

If it's bad, you'll laugh about it later. If it's mediocre DS will have forgotten in a few days. If it's good, you've got a new chef to put to work around the kitchen when you need a break.

[MultipleMama]

DH cooks but never bakes. He attempted his first cake last year. He followed a simple chocolate cake recipe to a T. Bloody thing tasted better than any of mine and I bake whenever I get the chance. I know bribe him to make one every few months!

Don't underestimate him. Let your DH bake your DS a cake. Your DH will feel proud and chuffed he made one and your DS will get a special rare cake made by his dad :)