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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this unreasonable?

35 replies

Pyjamaramadrama · 17/12/2014 10:47

To save seats in the front row of the nativity for several members of the extended family (think mum, dad, grandma, aunty, cousin, cousins husband), 45 minutes before the performance starts. Then not allow other parents who's actual own children are in the show to sit there as you are saving the seats.

Just for the record I had already got my seat so it didn't affect me, but it's just not something I'd do.

OP posts:
merryaid · 17/12/2014 10:51

Very selfish behaviour but unfortunately it happens all the time.

MinnieM1 · 17/12/2014 10:53

Very unfair!
This is why our school limits 2 tickets to each performance and they do a special grandparents performance, means no arguing over seats

merryaid · 17/12/2014 10:54

Our school issues tickets too but everyone just ignores the fact and turns up with their entire extended family regardless. Unfortunately our head teacher is a complete sap and would never do anything about it.

SweetsForMySweet · 17/12/2014 10:55

If it doesn't affect you why is this in AIBU? There is already a similar thread in AIBU about this problem. First come first served so it is up to everyone to get there early. Most schools have a limited number of invites(2 people per child) so this is not a problem.

Original poster
Pyjamaramadrama · 17/12/2014 10:59

I can post about something that doesn't affect me, why shouldn't I?

These people didn't get there early, one person got there early then saved several other seats with her bags, coat, hands, then told anyone else who went to sit down that they couldn't as she was saving the seats. The rest of the family turned up 5 minutes before that actual start.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pyjamaramadrama · 17/12/2014 11:01

Actually one person did sit down and she told them that she was very sorry but that seat was taken.

OP posts:
Spanglecrab · 17/12/2014 11:02

I'd have sat on one of the coats. Then I would have farted.

AlwaysDancing1234 · 17/12/2014 11:02

YANBU This sort of behaviour drives mad, bring lots of family if you want but don't expect them all to have front row seats!
Also annoyed by those holding aloft iPads so I can't see my child.
Oh and people who talk all the way through the bloody performance (yes MIL I mean you!!)
I'm on a roll now...!!

AlwaysDancing1234 · 17/12/2014 11:02

Ha ha spanglecrab great idea! Grin

Original poster
Pyjamaramadrama · 17/12/2014 11:05

What particularly made me raise an eyebrow was when somebody, a lone person, asked if they could sit in the chair that her bag was taking, and she told them that she was saving it. The person then sort of pleaded with her that they'd got their early as their boys were desperate for them to have a front row seat. She just shrugged and said "sorry".

OP posts:
NellysKnickers · 17/12/2014 11:09

Some people are just selfish. Ds1 does drama and singing. The behaviour of some of the parents when they do a show is shocking.

MaidOfStars · 17/12/2014 11:10

Not allow others to sit there? What are they going to do? Fight?

RiverTam · 17/12/2014 11:15

I would have asked how many parents the seats were for and then sat down on being told that they were for extended family members. DH would have been dead embarrassed though!

maz210 · 17/12/2014 11:16

That's really cheeky, they've got a lot of front.

Having said that I suffer from a chronic pain condition which means I can't stand up for longer than a minute without being in agony, walk with a stick etc.

At my son's nativity I couldn't get there until 5 minutes before the start due to work but knew there would be no seats left by then - I therefore asked the school if they could reserve one for me due to the circumstances. They were very happy to do so and even apologised the next day in case I was offended that they'd written disabled on the chair (obviously I wasn't!).

They asked me whether my husband would be with me and I said yes but not to save him a seat as he's able bodied and can stand with the rest of the latecomers, which he did.

AlwaysDancing1234 · 17/12/2014 11:16

I would have asked politely which of the 5 seats she would like me to sit in. Save 1 or two seats fair enough but not half the front row!

ClaudetteWyms · 17/12/2014 11:16

There is a lot of this, happened a lot at DD's nativity this week as well. Many parents stood at the back while several saved seats. A couple of people for the saved seats arrived after the show started and made people move so they could get past and sit down! So selfish.

ClaudetteWyms · 17/12/2014 11:17

What are they going to do? Fight? Grin

I might check this out next time Wink

Nancy66 · 17/12/2014 11:18

I'd have just ignored them and sat there anyway. Bollocks to that, you can reserve an entire row.

ArthurSHappeyChristmas · 17/12/2014 11:19

Very unreasonable. Ours has a two tickets only policy... So extended family can't attend.

Roseformeplease · 17/12/2014 11:22

I run the school plays and we don't allow saving seats at all. We just get people to fill up from the front (or wherever they want to sit) and keep filling up rows. If you want to sit together, you get there early. Also, we sell tickets in advance but give cast / crew about a week to get their tickets before the production is opened to the rest of the school / community, meaning that they can get the seats they need for their family. Appreciate that this is secondary so there are only about 1/4 of the school involved, unlike in primary where it might be all of them!

LegsOfSteel · 17/12/2014 11:24

In our school hall if you're not in the front two rows it is difficult to see.
So I prefer to stand at the back anyway - you get a better view.
Our PTA serve coffees and teas at ours so there is lots of saving seats while partners pop out to get the drinks.

Icimoi · 17/12/2014 11:28

YABU not to use a thread title that actually tells people what this is about.

Sprink · 17/12/2014 11:34

We had a PTA that served drinks, free. Two volunteers had been there 30 minutes before doors opened and had put their coats in front seats. When it was time for the performance they finally stopped serving and went to their seats to find the coats moved, seats occupied.

I thought that was unfair. In that case I'd have been happy to let them save their seats.

Others took the attitude that PTA were 'always saving the best stuff for themselves.' Hmm

lisylisylou · 17/12/2014 11:39

If it's a small hall which the previous school was then I would always head for the back and then stand up so I wasn't in anyones way plus I got to see my kids very easily

AlwaysDancing1234 · 17/12/2014 11:45

I was 7 days overdue (and enormous) with DD when I attended one of DS school plays, they put a reserved sign on a front row seat near the aisle for me but I wouldn't have expected another half dozen seats to be saved as well