To think that working part time shouldn't mean that you are excluded from things?

[merryaid]

I have been in my job for 3 months. I am part time, working 3 days per week. There is one other part time staff member who works 4 days per week. Everyone else is full time.

A couple of weeks ago, some of my full time colleagues mentioned that a secret santa was being done in the office. I asked who was organising it. The organiser is a full time woman who is very loud, and basically dominates the office, eg we all have to move desks regularly to accommodate her when she wants to change desks and if she says jump then everyone jumps. I asked her if I could take part in the SS and was told that it was for "full time staff members only". I thought it was a bit unfair but figured that they would probably be doing the present opening on a day that I wasn't at work, also I haven't been there for very long so I didnt want to make a fuss.

This morning I have discovered that a christmas night out is being planned for this Saturday night; a meal at a restaurant and then going to local pubs. Again, the dominant staff member is organising this. She was actually talking about it as I got into work this morning. I said that it sounded good and she said again that she was sorry but it was for full time employees only! However I have since discovered since she said it that the other part time lady is going on Saturday. Apparently it's different as she does 4 days rather than 3!

I have just now tried to talk to the woman who is organising the night out and said that it's unfair to exclude me but she was very eye-rolly and made out that I was causing a problem and causing trouble.

Is it normal for part timers to be excluded in this way? Is it just something that I have to suck up as a trade off for being part time? I know I could go to my manager but he and this woman are very close friends and I think he'd probably side with her and I'd just be chalked down as being a troublemaker....

Hi everyone, sorry for the delay in updating.

I spoke to my manager yesterday who, whilst appearing to be a sympathetic ear, was very reluctant to say anything negative about my colleague, and basically said that he was sure that she didn't want to offend anyone but as she was organising everything then it was really up to her who she decided to invite! He offered to have a word with her and mention that I'd like to go on the night out, however.

Nothing was mentioned until this morning, when she swanned over to my desk and announced that I could go on the night out "if it was that important to me". I really don't think I will go though, as I think she'll be quite unkind to me if I do.

She's not senior at work but because she's been there for ages and is very loud, everyone seems reluctant to upset her. They seem to dismiss things as just being "how she is". One of my colleagues actually said to me this morning that I need to learn not to take things personally with this woman and to take her as I find her! I said that I do take people as I find them and that I find this woman childish and unkind!

Hmm. The problem with not going is that it gives her the opportunity to tell everyone there that you were making a fuss for the sake of it. Could you go only for an hour?

I would go IIWU. Otherwise she will never invite you again because the one time she did you 'made a big fuss and then did not bother coming'.
I would just be charm personified and smile at everyone, give her no reason to slag you off!

Go and forge friendships with others. Be the life and soul of the party, please.
Saying that, I am very part time and excluded from all social stuff. I focus on the pay and friends outside work.

I can understand why OP doesn't want to force herself to go somewhere where she is not wanted.

I thought this was a work night out. I believe the OP said that work were paying for the night out? If this is the case why should it be up to one woman who she invites to a company event simply because she is the self-appointed social secretary.

It all seems very odd.

at how you are being treated by everyone.

" I find this woman childish and unkind!" and you're so right - what a cow

i know why you wouldnt want to go, but i think you should after making a point about it. Otherwise they may think you a troublemaker for the sake of it.

It is odd that the guest list is the organisers choice rather than all employees and i suspect this is just the path of least resistance for them. which is weak management.

go and be your charming self :)

Go, or you've given her a reason to exclude you from everything in future. What a cow.

What a fucking bitch! And your manager is a spineless idiot.

If work are paying for this night out then it is absolutely not up to her who gets fucking invited. What if she was a raging racist and decided not to invite anyone who wasn't white - would that be ok??

I'm livid on your behalf.

If you can bring yourself to go along, I would. Poor you OP. They are cunts!

For what its worth I work in a small company (40 people or so) and I am part time. We have a few part timers and we are never excluded from anything.

I've worked with people like her before, she's been there so long that she thinks she owns the place and gets away with ruddy murder.

Your manager's response sounds absolutely terrible.

If this is an official work Christmas do - which it surely is if work are paying - then no, it really shouldn't be up to the organiser to decide who gets an invite. Everyone, full or part time, working for the company should get an invite unless management specifically say otherwise, regardless of whether the organiser likes them or not. This woman's behaviour sounds very much like bullying and it's a shame that your manager doesn't seem to understand this.

I can understand you feeling reluctant to go if you think this woman is likely to be unkind, but would it be possible to stay as far away from her as possible and chat to other colleagues instead? Agree she sounds the sort to tell everyone you were making a big fuss for the sake of it if you don't go.

Incidentally, at my work, part timers are invited to all official or semi official social things. Not everyone is able to attend things (or wants to), but everyone gets an invite.

I can't believe this woman - who does she think she is?! So annoyed on your behalf OP!
I would go now it's been discussed. Kill her with kindness and big smiles . I find this always confuses total idiots like her with no social skills, and it will give you the upper hand.

This is just awful. I work in a company of 10 staff and I'm the only part-timer. I'm still invited to all events; in fact they work around me as I end up organising them!

Please go op, sit with someone nice and enjoy yourself.

This is bullying.

I think you should go now you've been invited. Have a good time and if she is horrid to you then just say nothing as everyone will notice her attitude towards you and it could be a turning point and show her in a bad light in front of everyone.

And yes your managers response is appalling. Spineless.

You only discovered yesterday morning that the meal/night out is on Saturday? Dont nights out at Xmas usually have to be organised weeks in advance so large numbers of people can be accommodated? The rest of the staff have never mentioned the night out in your presence? Why are you even bothered about spending your free time with people like that?

It's a form of harassment. You really do need to go - just don't sit beside her!

Oh, I'd go on the night out. Just to wind her up if anything.

What a witch!

id go just to piss her off

and if it happened again id be sticking in a grievance

It is definitely not normal where I work either. Everyone is invited to take part in whatever is going off regardless of if they work 1 day or 5 days.

The organising woman sounds like a nightmare and potentially bullying - is there no one higher you could have a word with.