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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that working part time shouldn't mean that you are excluded from things?

102 replies

merryaid · 17/12/2014 10:26

I have been in my job for 3 months. I am part time, working 3 days per week. There is one other part time staff member who works 4 days per week. Everyone else is full time.

A couple of weeks ago, some of my full time colleagues mentioned that a secret santa was being done in the office. I asked who was organising it. The organiser is a full time woman who is very loud, and basically dominates the office, eg we all have to move desks regularly to accommodate her when she wants to change desks and if she says jump then everyone jumps. I asked her if I could take part in the SS and was told that it was for "full time staff members only". I thought it was a bit unfair but figured that they would probably be doing the present opening on a day that I wasn't at work, also I haven't been there for very long so I didnt want to make a fuss.

This morning I have discovered that a christmas night out is being planned for this Saturday night; a meal at a restaurant and then going to local pubs. Again, the dominant staff member is organising this. She was actually talking about it as I got into work this morning. I said that it sounded good and she said again that she was sorry but it was for full time employees only! However I have since discovered since she said it that the other part time lady is going on Saturday. Apparently it's different as she does 4 days rather than 3!

I have just now tried to talk to the woman who is organising the night out and said that it's unfair to exclude me but she was very eye-rolly and made out that I was causing a problem and causing trouble.

Is it normal for part timers to be excluded in this way? Is it just something that I have to suck up as a trade off for being part time? I know I could go to my manager but he and this woman are very close friends and I think he'd probably side with her and I'd just be chalked down as being a troublemaker....

OP posts:

Chillyegg · 17/12/2014 12:32

It's bullying go to your manager and complain! I've worked places with a variety of different contracted staff part time/full time and 0 hours no one has ever been excluded! It's actually a chance to see people you wouldn't usually ! She sounds a dream

DontTurnAround · 17/12/2014 12:37

YANBU, totally wrong, we had a girl work with us who only did 3 days, she still came to the night out that was paid for by the copmpany - why wouldn't she?

Definitely time to speak to your manager!

iloveaglassofwine · 17/12/2014 12:45

Outrageous! What a bitch! Jeez, I thought we left this kind of behaviour in the playground when we left school and y'know - grew up

Time to speak to your manager about it. I work days a week from home and I'm still invited to company stuff even though is 150 miles from home and I'm not always able to go.

YANBU

Fallingovercliffs · 17/12/2014 12:46

Is this woman in some kind of position of authority? Why does everyone move desks anytime she wants to change? I've never heard of such nonsense.

Notmuchhaschanged · 17/12/2014 12:48

She sounds like a fucking bitch.

hellsbellsmelons · 17/12/2014 12:49

That's awful.
Even our temp staff get an invite to the Xmas party.
I really hope your manager can sort this out but if you are changing desks on her whim and your manager doesn't step in then I'm not holding my breath on this one!

Fallingovercliffs · 17/12/2014 12:51

Maybe she's one of those people who think that longevity equals seniority and that because she's worked in the place for donkey's years she's entitled to lord it over everyone and have her own way all the time.
Someone should be disabusing her of that notion, if that's the case.

Viviennemary · 17/12/2014 12:58

At first I was tempted to say well you've only been there three months and no point in rocking the boat. But no. She is being a bully and singling you out for rotten treatment. I'd have a word with the manager. Somebody like this in the workplace is bad news. If it wasn't you it would be somebody else. that's how these types operate.

threepiecesuite · 17/12/2014 12:58

Sorry, this is happening OP, it must make going to work a bit unpleasant.

I am the only part timer in my office and they go out of their way to accommodate me for things which I get a bit embarrassed about.

Don't suffer alone in this, talk to your colleagues and a manager.

Summerisle1 · 17/12/2014 13:10

No, it really isn't usual for things like Secret Santa or Christmas nights out to be restricted to full-time staff. It might be that some part-time staff might decline, say, a Secret Santa that'll be held on a day they don't normally work but you'd never exclude someone just because they work part time. In my DH's organisation, very few staff work a conventional full-time pattern yet they have no problem organising inclusive Christmas events.

This woman is a bully and I'm willing to bet that the rest of your colleagues have no idea that events are restricted to full time staff. The problem with people like this is that, over the years, they get tolerated precisely because they are so difficult to deal with. Thus their unreasonable behaviour carries on unchallenged and actually, they get ever more controlling.

That doesn't mean it is easy to break the pattern and I can quite see why you'd rather not put your head over the parapet. However, I would have a word with your manager along the lines of "I'm just checking that Christmas events are only for full-time staff because there's a couple of things I would have liked to have taken part in". That way you don't blame the Nasty Cow directly but you do get a definitive answer.

londonrach · 17/12/2014 13:13

Very strange. I sometimes locum for a nhs trust and was included in their xmas meal last year. Talk to hr or your manager.

Cauliflowersneeze1 · 17/12/2014 13:15

You need to sort this out , she is being very controlling .

Email your boss to check that it's full time staff only

Then watch her face , bet she says you misunderstood her

WildFlowersAttractBees · 17/12/2014 13:17

DH took on a new part timer on December 1st and instantly asked if he wanted to join them for a christmas meal (the boss pays the meal and DH pays the gifts). There is no reason to exclude anyone.

BestIsWest · 17/12/2014 13:18

It is bullying and if work are paying for it then it is discriminatory too. Don't suppose you are a member of a union?

Theorientcalf · 17/12/2014 13:27

It's bullying and discriminatory. I'm part time and so are many of my colleagues and it makes no difference.

GlitzAndGigglesx · 17/12/2014 13:35

No it's not normal. I used to work 3 days and now work 4 and have always been included in any plans. I've also planned a few things and invited everyone including people I see once a week. She sounds a right twat

TooSpotty · 17/12/2014 13:39

She's a huge bully and behaving illegally. Someone senior needs to be aware of this.

I work part time and am missing my Christmas party as it's on my non-working day. However, I am invited, I just can't go as I've got no childcare, and they did apologise for having it that day, but they don't have much choice about it owing to the way the place works. How horrible to be deliberately excluded like that.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 17/12/2014 13:39

She's a cow

whois · 17/12/2014 13:41

That's shit, talk to your manager.

I wouldn't expect a Christmas party to happen eg on a Tuesday so it can be on one of your working days. But I would expect an invite whatever the day!

SunnyBaudelaire · 17/12/2014 13:48

come back merryaid and update us!
do not let this woman get away with such outrageous behaviour!

emms1981 · 17/12/2014 14:01

I worked in the same place for 12 years, only did part time even tho I asked for more hours should they come up, in the last 2 years of me being there it was clear to me that they didn't like people with children and took on 2 young single men and gave them both 40h a week jobs, I was sick! Our christmas bonus was always a voucher from sainsburys and the full timers got double!
So they young single ones got twice as much to spend as well as having a larger pay as me a 30 something mum with 2 young kids :(
My dh now works and 2 lots of people from his place have had a christmas night out the ones on his section haven't.

JudgeyHotPants · 17/12/2014 14:22

This woman sounds like a bully, well done for calling her out for excluding you. I'd definitely mention it to your manager.

WeeFreeKings · 17/12/2014 14:39

I'm part time but am treated as full time by everyone in my team. I'm invited to the Christmas party although I can't go as I'm off sick. If I managed someone who was excluding part time members I would have a word regardless of how friendly I was with them as it's discriminatory behaviour. Presumably the people who work part time are women and probably mums? So it's kind of discriminating against mothers. What a horrible woman. Shame she's trying to alienate you when you've not been there long. This should be the perfect opportunity to welcome you to the team.

Andrewofgg · 17/12/2014 14:52

The only thing you can reasonably exclude a part-timer from is an evening bash if the p/t works mornings and even then the chance to come should be offered.

JudgeyHotPants · 18/12/2014 14:27

Any updates OP?

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