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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that working part time shouldn't mean that you are excluded from things?

102 replies

merryaid · 17/12/2014 10:26

I have been in my job for 3 months. I am part time, working 3 days per week. There is one other part time staff member who works 4 days per week. Everyone else is full time.

A couple of weeks ago, some of my full time colleagues mentioned that a secret santa was being done in the office. I asked who was organising it. The organiser is a full time woman who is very loud, and basically dominates the office, eg we all have to move desks regularly to accommodate her when she wants to change desks and if she says jump then everyone jumps. I asked her if I could take part in the SS and was told that it was for "full time staff members only". I thought it was a bit unfair but figured that they would probably be doing the present opening on a day that I wasn't at work, also I haven't been there for very long so I didnt want to make a fuss.

This morning I have discovered that a christmas night out is being planned for this Saturday night; a meal at a restaurant and then going to local pubs. Again, the dominant staff member is organising this. She was actually talking about it as I got into work this morning. I said that it sounded good and she said again that she was sorry but it was for full time employees only! However I have since discovered since she said it that the other part time lady is going on Saturday. Apparently it's different as she does 4 days rather than 3!

I have just now tried to talk to the woman who is organising the night out and said that it's unfair to exclude me but she was very eye-rolly and made out that I was causing a problem and causing trouble.

Is it normal for part timers to be excluded in this way? Is it just something that I have to suck up as a trade off for being part time? I know I could go to my manager but he and this woman are very close friends and I think he'd probably side with her and I'd just be chalked down as being a troublemaker....

OP posts:
DixieNormas · 17/12/2014 11:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AMumInScotland · 17/12/2014 11:15

I would start by going to my manager and saying "There seems to have been some misunderstanding, as X is saying the Christmas night out is only for full time staff. That can't be right can it, specially since Y is also included? Could you clarify?"

Chances are he/she has no idea that X is doing this and will sort it out.

If the manager does know, ask for the justification in treating you differently from the other part-timer.

Try to stay calm and 'reasonable' about it, that makes it easier to make sensible arguments back against any silliness.

ArthurSHappeyChristmas · 17/12/2014 11:17

Not normal at all. I've worked part time for 5 years and have never been excluded. I've been invited to everything even if they fall on days I don't work. Speak to your manager.

LtGreggs · 17/12/2014 11:19

FWIW, I run a small business with both full and part timers.

LtGreggs · 17/12/2014 11:19

FWIW, I run a small business with both full and part timers.

LtGreggs · 17/12/2014 11:21

FWIW, I run a small business with both full and part timers.

As everyone else has said, what is happening is very much not OK!

As a comparison, we have our Christmas meal on Friday afternoon this week. Anyone not working on Friday has been told that they are very welcome to come to it. And I think that's reasonable - I can't make a date that fits perfectly in to everyone's schedule, but we're also not wanting to exclude anyone.

Vycount · 17/12/2014 11:21

Yep, workplace bullying. I'll be interested to see what your manager has to say.

KarenHillavoidJimmyswarehouse · 17/12/2014 11:22

Normally I'm quite upfront, but I don't think this woman merits that courtesy.

I'd email or speak to the manager in faux-innocence asking how to be added to the list as it seemed to have been organised on a day you don't work.

LtGreggs · 17/12/2014 11:24

(sorry)

bananapickle84 · 17/12/2014 11:25

I only work 2 days a week and I'm included in everything. I'm going to the Christmas meal this year and I'm on maternity leave.

It really isn't fair or right and it sounds like this woman needs putting in her place on more than this issue.

YANBU.

Roonerspism · 17/12/2014 11:28

It's not normal and it is actually discriminatory!

MrsKoala · 17/12/2014 11:32

not okay at all. Sounds like she doesn't like you and is enjoying exploiting the little bit of power she can exert. Nip it in the bud. Be professional and feign confusion in a 'oh i'm sure that must be a mistake because that would be quite unfair and probably discriminatory, and i know that wouldn't be your intention, i'm sure we can sort this out tho '

Flippityflip · 17/12/2014 11:37

That is so wrong and she IBVU. Speak to HR,it is a form of discrimination and absolutely not on.What a horrible woman.In my last place there was a woman who incessantly made crabby comments about 'part timers' as though it was laziness,nevermind the fact people seem to ignore that your pay is clearly proportionate to the hours you do but also I did several times the work she did in her 5 days in my 3 days.(not bitter at all...)

Wilf83 · 17/12/2014 11:41

You should post this on the Work- Employment issues section where you may get replies for HR people.

IMHO it is very wrong that Mouth Almighty said about it being for full time employees only. Replace the word 'full time' with 'black' 'white' 'able bodied', 'male', 'not pregnant', 'under 20' and it is clear that discrimination is taking place- the use of the word 'full time' is no different. Mouth Almighty is excluding a group for no clear,valid reason.

On a light hearted note could you organise a part time only party & s.santa & be bigger & better? Thought I can't remember if you said how many part timers there are at your work.

Hobby2014 · 17/12/2014 11:44

We have employees ranging from 4hour contracts to 39hour contracts. Everyone is included in everything. If that's a party/meal or even a cake day or buffet, or whatever. However big or small the celebration, every one is included.

Woozlebear · 17/12/2014 11:44

Christ! She sounds an utter bitch!

In my team we have a lady who sits with us- doesn't work in our team - and only works 1 or 2 days, term time only. We include her in everything we can!!

You're being bullied HmmHmm

chirrza · 17/12/2014 11:48

I'm not an expert, but I think if it's an official company paid for one, it has to be open to "all employees" for them to avoid reporting it as an expense and paying NI on the cost. Do you know if the company is paying or are they paying for themselves?

www.gov.uk/expenses-benefits-social-functions-parties

If it's just her being the unofficial organiser of the company, getting people together, that doesn't apply. But I think it's shitty of her. Is it literallly all of your department except you?

Either way I would mention it to my line manager. If you don't feel like making a big issue of it, just next time she asks you how things are going, mention it. It's difficult to integrate yourself into a new role/department if you're being excluded.

It doesn't suprise me. I've worked in two places where a prominent member of staff would deliberately exclude one or two people from social get togethers. I don't think it's anything to do with you being part-time.

NellysKnickers · 17/12/2014 11:50

Get this. I wasn't included in secret santa this year but the fuckers kept the box for all the presents in my office so on the days I was there they kept coming in with presents. I didn't sabotage them, maybe I should have Grin 2 of my lovely colleagues got together and got me a pressie when they realised.

I also have to scrape around for any info if there are meetings on days I'm not in.

They don't do it nastily, they just don't think.

NellysKnickers · 17/12/2014 11:52

Forgot to add the organising woman at your work is bang out of order.

ErrolTheDragon · 17/12/2014 12:00

I work part time and get the invitations to everything. Which is actually mildly annoying because I work from home hundreds of miles from the office so am very unlikely to be able to attend! Grin Sometimes when there's obviously freebies being handed out I vaguely think it'd be nice if they could send telecommuters something (but then again, I get the regular reports of the blockages on the roads round the office and count my blessings)

TwinkleDust · 17/12/2014 12:05

She's being a bitch. Call her bluff. Email the manager and say that organising woman says you can't be invited because you are p/t, and is that correct..?

Aherdofmims · 17/12/2014 12:09

Stupid cow. Agree with "how do some people not grow up?" - her not you.

It is bullying and you should speak to manager.

skylark2 · 17/12/2014 12:19

I think that's really mean and absolutely you should discuss with your manager.

I'm in three days and my office does try to schedule things on the days I'm there. Sometimes it's not possible - then I can swap my days if it's possible (I work somewhere else the other 2 days), but if not then I do sometimes miss out.

Fallingovercliffs · 17/12/2014 12:24

To be honest, I don't think much of your colleagues if they're standing back and saying nothing. I don't understand why they're 'in awe' of a bully like that. They're all adults and should be objecting to her speaking to you like that and leaving you out of things.

Runwayqueen · 17/12/2014 12:25

Yanbu, your colleague is wrong to exclude you. Fwiw I am pt, yet I'm the one who organises our departments social outings, and I would never exclude anyone even if I don't particularly like them