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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be getting fed up of these type of jumping on the band wagon breastfeeding threads

402 replies

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 16/12/2014 07:21

here

FTR I'm very pro breastfeeding and think where children are permitted mothers should be able to feed their babies in whichever way they choose. But to me this is a completely different situation and this running to the papers screaming about the inequity of it all is pointless and doesnt actually help in cases where people do breach the equality act.
So AIBU?

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 16/12/2014 16:55

You should see the staff areas In places I've worked in.

no soap

no hot water

broken chairs.
damp
bird poo

I work in an age restricted place. I fully support it. it seems tight at times sure but safer all around because there's always someone who takes piss.

age restricted venues are perfectly legal.

no one can take their kids. bf or not.

why you would want to I don't know. How many of you really would employ someone who brought their baby along? really.

does your plumber turn up with a baby?

carpet fitter?

would you employ a cleaner who interviews with her baby?

Santaslittleblowupdoll · 16/12/2014 16:56

The mother should of called ahead.

Breast feeding mothers/ babies don't trump H&S and licensing regs.

The car was probably cleaner - when I worked in a club the dressing room was used for all sorts Hmm

Madeyemoodysmum · 16/12/2014 16:58

What bulbasaur said!

Applaudes common sense Xmas Grin

PortofinoVino · 16/12/2014 17:00

clearly en par with 'tramps' in your view said Beatrice

There you go again........projecting what YOU think I think. Doh.

I only mentioned them (twice) because they were the latest to get themselves plastered all over the newspapers, and therefore the last in people's minds.

They did all bf mothers a great disservice, but they can't see it.

leedy · 16/12/2014 17:01

Possibly I have had an unduly sheltered career re venue dressing rooms (I don't think I have). Regardless, this wasn't a nightclub, it was one of those super fancy private clubs of the type frequented by Bertie Wooster, I suspect the facilities they offer to visiting chamber quartets don't feature damp, broken chairs, or birdshit.

merrychristmasyafilthyanimal · 16/12/2014 17:01

Excellent post bulbasaur, couldn't agree more!

PortofinoVino · 16/12/2014 17:03

Well said Bulbasaur, excellent post.

Bulbasaur · 16/12/2014 17:04

Dressing rooms are not sound proof. The baby could possibly be heard screaming from inside.

What's the problem with letting one baby in while a reasonable mother makes accommodations with a CM and does her job? Nothing.

The problem is happens when multiple mothers try bringing in babies including their breastfed toddlers, who bring in irresponsible family members who are just as disruptive. You can't make an exception for one mother without making exception for all.

You either allow babies or you don't. Babies do not belong at work, unless you are running a daycare. Work is not a convenient alternative to childcare. If your work provides child accommodations, then great. It's your responsibility to find those places, and if you can't you get to make a choice between your baby and career. But the employer shouldn't be obligated to provide such things.

leedy · 16/12/2014 17:06

How many of you really would employ someone who brought their baby along?

If it was someone who'd come to do a one-off performance and they brought someone with them to look after said baby then yeah, why not? Regardless of the legalities, I'm not sure why this is being presented as a)ENTITLED MOTHER MADNESS THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE EVER (it has) or b)equivalent to me turning up at the office to do internet technical things with a baby in tow and just looking after him at my desk.

Gileswithachainsaw · 16/12/2014 17:08

But that extra person would have to be let into "staff only" areas.

They are for staff only not staff plus husband wife baby cat baby sitter etc.

n

leedy · 16/12/2014 17:12

"The problem is happens when multiple mothers try bringing in babies including their breastfed toddlers, who bring in irresponsible family members who are just as disruptive. You can't make an exception for one mother without making exception for all. "

I am now anxiously awaiting the name of the band consisting entirely of mothers of breastfed babies/toddlers who will be bringing all their children at the same time to a dressing room near you. Also (as someone who has a breastfed toddler) I have never heard of anyone saying they can't leave their two year old for a few hours because they're breastfed, presumably they are from the same straw family as the "pull all their clothes off, flop both their huge unsightly baps out on the table while shouting about how they're breastfeeding now, come look at my big lactating norks" public breastfeeding mothers. I presume as well that you can make an exception for "babes in arms in the dressing room" without you suddenly having to admit children of all ages to the entire venue.

I'm quite down with banning irresponsible family members from dressing rooms, mind. Still pissed off at the brother of a member of another band who sat in our dressing room at one gig and drank all our beer.

PortofinoVino · 16/12/2014 17:14

I presume as well that you can make an exception for "babes in arms in the dressing room" without you suddenly having to admit children of all ages to the entire venue.

To reiterate.........it says "no under 12s". No exceptions. What NOT to get?

SquirrelledAway · 16/12/2014 17:15

Well, it's not so much Entitled Mother Madness, rather that Person A was hired by Club B to do a job, Person A asked Club B if she could bring her baby along, Club B said no, and Person A's complaints are being reported in the papers.

leedy · 16/12/2014 17:15

"But that extra person would have to be let into "staff only" areas."

Artists performing in a venue aren't really "staff", though, are they, or at least I'd never have considered myself part of the venue staff. Also big bands usually have at least some ancillary people with them (sound man, people to carry stuff (OH THE DREAM), person doing the merch stand, etc.), I don't see why "oh, and that's the babysitter" wouldn't fit under that category.

Gileswithachainsaw · 16/12/2014 17:16

And you can't IF babies ffs.

Under 1s who are bf only clause?

how do you police that? Get them to squirter milk at u on the way through?

produce birth certificate?

PortofinoVino · 16/12/2014 17:20

Under 1s who are bf only clause?

And then there'd be people saying the "my baby is only over the limit by 32 months" - can he come in Grin

Beatricepottershouse · 16/12/2014 17:21

"They did all bf mothers a great disservice, but they can't see it"

Did the now? Have you done some sort of empirical research on this? Is this a fact?

Imo your comments upthread are sadly ignorant but you cant see it (the irony). I doubt you can speak with any authority on behalf of "all bf mothers" thankfully.

As for 'projecting' (what clever concept!) please don't open a can of worms here; the things you have said on this thread such as comparing bf with masturbating in public one must seriously wonder what sorts of twisted projections are going on in your mind. I'd rather not.

Gileswithachainsaw · 16/12/2014 17:26

Grin.

It's getting ridiculous now.

no kids under 12.

that a plus to staff and customers.

9 months plus a year's maternity leave to figure out your options re times and feeding methods and still it's a venues fault or not being accommodating even if it's terms of the license.

We have got far to used to laid back work environments. We breech uniforms we turn up late or leave early we call in sick with hang overs we expect rules to be broken because our situation is so much more important than everyone else's.

why else would people be so surprised that no under 12/18s means no kids under 12 or 18.

PortofinoVino · 16/12/2014 17:26

"They did all bf mothers a great disservice, but they can't see it"

Everyone I know who saw the picture in front of Claridges raised their eyes heavenword and said "not again".

Yes, you ARE projecting your thought and feelings into what I have said. No-one has commented negatively except you Smile

I suggest we agree to disagree, because this is getting a little silly and is NOT what the thread is about.

Gileswithachainsaw · 16/12/2014 17:27

I would he fired for allowing a baby in my work place.

GraysAnalogy · 16/12/2014 17:27

There's a serious lack of common sense, and a seriously heightened air of entitlement.

This reminds me of a thread a while back where a woman thought she was being discriminated against because her kids weren't allowed to attend a flower show - for their own safety at that.

Tell you what, we'll all just bring our kids to work shall we. See how much good that does.

GraysAnalogy · 16/12/2014 17:28

Next time I pop to a club with the baby in tow I'll let the establishment know I'm being discriminated against, because I can't get a babysitter y'see and I should still be able to have a social life.

GraysAnalogy · 16/12/2014 17:30

We need a change in the law; women should be able to bring infants to work and employers should ensure that there are appropriate locations on the premises for women to breastfeed

Next time I'm on the ICU I'll think about how great it would be to see toddlers running around all over the show.

PortofinoVino · 16/12/2014 17:32

Next time I'm on the ICU I'll think about how great it would be to see toddlers running around all over the show.

I hope there's no-one bf-ing or toddlers running around in the operating theatre when I go in in January Grin

GraysAnalogy · 16/12/2014 17:36

You never know Porto. 'no2 scalpel please.... tube please... baby to breast next...'