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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell my manager that i'm prengant by email?

71 replies

onemiddlefinger · 15/12/2014 14:21

I need to leave for a antenatal appointment in about 5 min and wanted to tell him before that I was pregnant and going to leave early for an appointment, but somehow didn't catch him earlier (ok I was putting it off), now I can hear him talking to another colleague but I now can't wait anymore, plus I find it easier to write in an email....
Is it weird?
It's my second pregnancy and I somehow feel a bit quilty... (he wasn't my boss the first time)

OP posts:
Funkytown · 15/12/2014 14:23

just ask if you can have a quiet word then say that you just wanted to let him know that you are leaving to go to your antenatal appointment

Leeza2 · 15/12/2014 14:25

I don't think it's reasonable to leave work without any notice for an ante natal appointment . Just because you are entitled to time off to attend doesn't mean that you don't have to inform your employer . You can't just walk out

Fallingovercliffs · 15/12/2014 14:26

Can you not just email him that you have a medical appointment and had tried to catch him on his own to tell him?

Original poster
onemiddlefinger · 15/12/2014 14:26

so is sending an email considered strange?
I just feel much more comfortable doing it this way TBH.

OP posts:
Original poster
onemiddlefinger · 15/12/2014 14:27

I wasn't going to leave without any notice, I was going to send an email...
Why is it so strange?
I actually was expecting to be told it's fine....

OP posts:
DoJo · 15/12/2014 14:28

Have you really not let anyone at work know that you will need to leave early today? I would probably tell a manager in person if I had left it so late to warn them that I would be going early.

Lorelei353 · 15/12/2014 14:30

I don't think it's strange to do it by email as such, but doing it either by email or verbally 5 minutes before you need to leave is wildly inappropriate in my view. You're really not giving any advance notice?

DoJo · 15/12/2014 14:30

I think it's strange not to give more notice that you will be leaving early, unless you usually set your own hours and wouldn't be expected to be at work for the rest of the afternoon, but you know best how it will go down in your workplace. If you are sure it won't be a problem, then email should be fine, although surely he might not see it before you have actually left, which is why I would go for telling someone in person.

Original poster
onemiddlefinger · 15/12/2014 14:30

oh crap!
I really don't know what to do now, he is still having a discussion with a colleague, which looks like it can go on for a while...

OP posts:
Leeza2 · 15/12/2014 14:31

Sending an email OR speaking to some one in person 5 mins before you have to leave IS no notice . How can they get someone to cover your work ?

I agree you will have to say you have a medical appointment and apologise profusely for not giving notice. Then arrange a face to face meeting tomorrow .

crumblebumblebee · 15/12/2014 14:32

Sorry but YABU to have left it so late to tell a manager, unless it was an emergency appt of course.

It isn't considered the right etiquette IMO to email it. I request leave through our system at work and it says for medical appts but I still tell my manager because it's courteous, surely?

Original poster
onemiddlefinger · 15/12/2014 14:32

In my workplace this normally wouldn't be as issue as in I will just pick up tomorrow where I left off, no one has to cover me.
but now that I'm thinking about it - of course I should have told him sooner

OP posts:
TheBiscuitStrikesBack · 15/12/2014 14:33

It fine to let him know you have a medical appt by email, not fine IMO to tell him 5 minutes before you need to leave. I wouldn't get away with that.

ScreamingSpires · 15/12/2014 14:34

The thread title made me think that great strides have been made in assisted conception..

Just me then?

raltheraffe · 15/12/2014 14:34

Are you having a laugh or what?

As an employer I would go ballistic if one of my staff pulled this one on me. You must have known for at least a few days that you had the appointment and should have raised it then, giving your boss the chance to arrange someone to cover for you while you are away.

I have no issues with employees getting pregnant, but would have major issues with someone just nipping out for a few hours without warning me first.

Original poster
onemiddlefinger · 15/12/2014 14:34

I have sort of thought that this sort of thing happened in our office, that people would just casually send an email saying thay have an appointment etc, not really give much advance warning....

OP posts:
InternetFOREVER · 15/12/2014 14:35

I'd send quick email saying you need to leave for an appt and sorry for not letting him know sooner, then ask to speak to him next time you're in to tell him. But FWIW I told my boss by email

InfinitySeven · 15/12/2014 14:37

I can email to say I have an appt, and I'm not covered so I'd just pick up where I left off. I can't imagine anyone would be too thrilled with five minutes notice, though. I usually give a few days, at the minimum, or at least a few hours for a same day emergency appt. It's courteous.

Original poster
onemiddlefinger · 15/12/2014 14:37

like I said, there are no cover issues in our workplace,
I will simply carry on where I left off tomorrow.
I have sent an email.

OP posts:
FlorenceMattell · 15/12/2014 14:42

You are going to email your boss and tell him :

  1. You are pregnant
2 You are leaving immediately for an A/N appointment. No not acceptable. Only if it is a medical emergency eg you are in pain, don't feel baby move, bleeding should you leave without notice. And then on your return you would give a doctors note. Yes tell him you are pregnant & ask him how much notice he would like re appointments. Re schedule the antenatal appointment and give notice. You sound are very self centred to think you can just walk out. Yes you are allowed time of for ante natal appointments but you need to give reasonable notice.
crumblebumblebee · 15/12/2014 14:44

I'm sorry to be harsh but all the time you spend pishing about MN would have been better spent telling him face to fave

DidoTheDodo · 15/12/2014 14:46

As a manager I would be seriously unimpressed by someone who sent me an email saying they were pregnant as a first action.

I would expect to be told face to face as a courtesy, with a follow up email detailing dates (expected confinement and any ante natal appointments).

Original poster
onemiddlefinger · 15/12/2014 14:48

Well all the time i spent on mn, he was talking to another colleague.
Anyway i have realised i made a mistake in not taking the time to talk to him earlier and wont to this again, so thank you all for comment ing.

OP posts:
msrisotto · 15/12/2014 14:51

Ok, I get that thee are some workplaces where you can nip off early some days for appointments with no major issue. Fair enough, if that is the normal way of working. You should let him/her know in person that you are pregnant though.

goddessofthunder · 15/12/2014 14:53

I run a business with two other colleagues and I would at the very least have mentioned this morning if I was leaving the office for any kind of personal appointment. We also have a number of employees and although we are very relaxed and flexible about these things I would be a bit surprised if someone just got up and said they were off to an appointment without mentioning it at all previously.

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