Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you have ever been to a wedding where someone was "jilted"

105 replies

Mammanat222 · 15/12/2014 10:48

Was talking to MIL yesterday and she said she has been to 3 where this has happened.

One was a classic jilt - the bride didn't turn up, the other two there were issues at the ceremony. Fight between bride and groom at one ceremony and bride leaving another ceremony.

Seriously - 3??? Shock

Although she did say in her lifetime she has been to well over 100 weddings (receptions, she has been to less ceremonies)

It got me thinking that it can't be that uncommon?

Has anyone been to a wedding where this has happened?

OP posts:
weegiemum · 15/12/2014 12:05

Dh's best friend called off his wedding with less than 24 hours to go - he'd felt railroaded into it and had tried to postpone it but the bride wouldn't agree.

He's now very happily married with 2dc and a different bride. I was chatting to his mum after the second wedding and she said "I wouldn't believe it had happened if I hadn't seen it myself!" Mightily relieved!

sparechange · 15/12/2014 12:07

Not a proper runaway bride jilting, but I was invited to a wedding which was called off a few weeks before it was due to happen.

And a friend is a manager at a wedding venue (a very naice one which has hosted lots of celebrity weddings). They were due to host a big wedding, but it was called off the day before. As all the food and drink had already been ordered and delivered, the couple still had to pay the vast majority of the costs, but the venue turned it into a party for the staff!

Alisvolatpropiis · 15/12/2014 12:07

It is very sad. My mum believes that it was related to the wedding related debt that the bride and her not very nice family refused to take their share of, the groom had covered the wedding almost entirely. She thinks he would have been able to get over being jilted with time but the debts were too much.

She maintains that jilting is one of the most cruel and cowardly things a person can do to another. When I was planning my wedding she said that if I got "cold feet" very close to it she would not support me in the fall out unless there was a very, very good reason.

taxi4ballet · 15/12/2014 12:10

I used to work with someone who was in a church choir. She said that at one wedding, at the bit when asked if there's any reason why the wedding can't go ahead, the bride turned to her chief bridesmaid, handed her the bouquet and said "Yes, you slept with him last night - you marry him", and walked out of the church!!!

PuppyMonkey · 15/12/2014 12:11

My DP's brother did the classic "having a wobble in the vestry" before bride arrived. DP and his mum assured him he didn't need to go through with it if he had doubts and it was touch and go for a while. He was pacing the floor trying to figure it out.Confused

In the end, the wedding went ahead. I'm not sure the bride ever found out about the little drama that had unfolded (this was before I knew DP do I wasn't there myself). They divorced after a few years.

FayeFruitLoop · 15/12/2014 12:15

I know of someone who had the wedding and then left it with the person she was seeing behind his back. Very sad as a lot of people knew and could have spared him the humiliation really, he wasn't even a horrid guy more one of the "overly nice" types

I also was engaged at 21 prior to my now DH and the guy I was engaged to had a whole story about his sister in Africa needing an operation they couldn't afford, my family helped him with money to send back for her. He called off out engagement on our engagement party (3 months before wedding date) and sent my uncles and dad a long letter with all my failings why he couldn't marry me (mostly that I wasn't a traditional 'African' wife, and just a british girl who hadn't yet mastered jollof rice) later found out he went on to marry the girl who had the same name and looked (I fb snooped) identical to his 'sister' I guess that's where my family's money went. At the time I was heartbroken and tried to top myself even.... If I saw him now I would shake both their hands and genuinely mean it telling them how perfect they are for each other. Grin

Me624 · 15/12/2014 12:21

Not been to one but I've got a friend who called off her wedding 2 weeks before, just after her groom had upped sticks from the US to move here and be with her! But she's now very happily married to someone else so right decision.

When I got married there was due to be another wedding in the church the day before ours - we'd all been to pre-marriage classes together. When we went to sign the register the page before ours had their details filled in but was crossed through (they fill it out in advance to avoid delays) and the vicar told us that the groom had called it off the night before!

I can't believe people go through all the planning and spend all that money before changing their minds ... but at least it's better than changing your mind after the wedding I suppose!

SirNoel · 15/12/2014 12:33

My friend called off his wedding after finding out his bride to be was having it off with the Best Man the week before. He actually caught them at it, at a pre-wedding gathering.

He still holds a grudge despite going on to marry a bloke Grin

Fanfeckintastic · 15/12/2014 12:38

When I was 19 I went on holiday to Turkey with my friend and towards the end she met an obnoxious waiter and booked flights back to him the second we got home. While over there she texted me saying she had gotten married Sad

She only got divorced this year as she's engaged but her new husband to be has no idea about her first marriage!

KarenHillavoidJimmyswarehouse · 15/12/2014 12:48

Paraphrasing Emily Giffin here (Something Borrowed) - once the dress is on it's a done deal.

Either call it off beforehand or go through with it and do something about it afterwards. No-one deserves the humiliation - and the forthcoming pity - of being jilted although in the case taxi4ballet mentions, then it is!

Like whoknowswhere I've been to a reception where the Best Man digraced himself - just completely beyond the pale and I'm pretty boroad minded.

I've also been to weddings where it is clear they are making a mistake - although it had been clear from the point they got engaged. No idea why they forced themselves down that path.

FreudiansSlipper · 15/12/2014 12:56

no I haven't

my mum went to a wedding where on the wedding day (after the wedding) it was discovered the groom and maid of honour had been having a relationship

a few years later her new fiancé had a relationship with another friend of hers

she was such a nice lady my mum lost contact with her (my mum was not the ow) I hope she found happiness

Oldraver · 15/12/2014 13:09

I was very late to my wedding.....the wedding car woman was told it was a local fete day and their were floats on the road and to go another way but didnt listen.... it was way before mobile phones and they all said they thought I wasn't turning up.

I knew of someone whose fiancee called it off in the week running up to the wedding... she had moved out of their house to a flat in town so must of known for a while she was going to do it. He was a twat though

Dontstepinthecowpat · 15/12/2014 13:19

I should have also said that my mum tried to out pressure in me in the final run up to our wedding asking me on a few occasions if I was sure, I didn't have to marry DH etc. I could find no reason for her doubts but two weeks after the wedding she left my DM so perhaps she was projecting her own anxieties/regrets.

WeAreEternal · 15/12/2014 13:27

I've been invited to two wedding that have been canceled close to the date. One was two weeks before the other was the day before.
With the latter the couple eloped a couple of weeks later.

A couple of years ago I was a bridsmaid at a friends wedding, she was absolutely fine until we got to the church then as we waited outside the doors to go in she started panicking, it quickly turned into a full on panic attack and she ran outside and started hyperventilating and hysterically crying. She then locked herself in a room and refused to talk to anyone for three hours, she just sat there and cried.
Her DP was devistated.
Eventually we managed to get her to come out after all the guests had been sent to the reception.

It turned out she changed her mind about the dress as she though she looked fat and unattractive in it and as she isn't very confident anyway the though of everyone staring at her just sent her over the edge.
They did get married with just a few of us and then we went and joined the reception after stopping at their house so the bride could get changed and reapply her make up.
Once she felt comfortable in another dress she was fine.

misskangaandroo2014 · 15/12/2014 13:29

My uncle confessed to my dad on the way to his wedding that his bride to be had been cheating and he wasn't sure he could go through with it. My dad drove them both to a pub so they could decide what to do. Dad then sent the ushers to tell the priest to send everyone home. I was about 6.

misskangaandroo2014 · 15/12/2014 13:32

... posted too soon. I was a bridesmaid, I'd just got in the car with the bride when her dad came to tell her. I was sat around while all these adults I barely knew were arguing. Fortunately her mum sudddenly realised I was a bit of a spare part. She drove me to meet my dad and I remember she actually bought my uncle a drink before going home. (Sorry it all sounds reasonable in some ways).

SuperFlyHigh · 15/12/2014 13:40

fan - off topic a bit but if your friend is still married shouldn't you tell either the fiance or authorities that she's still married (in Turkey) as she's committing bigamy and breaking the law.... puts on judgy pants

that's if she isn't planning to divorce her Turkish DH or tell her UK fiance about each other? awkward

Failedspinster · 15/12/2014 13:40

My MIL tried to persuade my DH to jilt his first wife on their wedding day. He was marrying her basically to avoid her being deported as she had outstayed her visa. It was an abusive, violent relationship (the wife was the abuser) and MIL thought that if he refused to marry her, he could get away. Sadly he was too scared to jilt her, but the authorities deported her shortly after anyway.

SuperFlyHigh · 15/12/2014 13:41

and no never been to or heard of someone being jilted. apart from Eastenders or on another soap opera

dawntigga · 15/12/2014 13:45

I use to run a catering company, so a few, yes.

ALWAYSGetInsuranceForWeddingsTiggaxx

firstposts · 15/12/2014 13:53

Ex wedding coordinator here. About 1 a year was cancelled, at a venue doing 50 - 60 weddings a year. Sometimes you knew at the meetings there was something 'off'.

Worst bit was explaining venue cancellation policy, lots of people believed they'd just lose their deposit... Unless the cancellation was more than 6 months prior to wedding they were liable for a lot more Sad

Canyouforgiveher · 15/12/2014 13:54

Years ago a friend called off the wedding the day before. His fiancee worked for him too (small business) so effectively lost her job as well as her husband. It was very hard. About a year later they got married quietly without telling anyone.

I knew someone who when she got to the top of the aisle realised her husband to be was quite drunk. It was clear to everyone else too. She was very young and went ahead. I thought the priest was a disgrace to let them go ahead in those circumstances (and this took place in ireland when there was no easy divorce at the time). They separated very soon afterwards.

A relative was at a wedding of a good friend who was also her first boyfriend (at age 14 or so) but part of a big gang of friends. At the reception he had a bit to drink and his mother called her in to the room - the groom was crying and saying he didn't want to go off with his new bride as he really wanted to marry my relative. They didn't say anything to the bride but got him off and he had a long and happy marriage in the end.

Juliejools89 · 15/12/2014 14:00

Not jilted but my wedding was called off 3 weeks beforehand as groom was at it with ha work colleague. I was 17 weeks pregnant at the time- went on my honeymoon with my matron of honour who'd flown in for the wedding from South Africa.

cardamomginger · 15/12/2014 14:02

I went to one where the bride, my friend, pulled out the night before. We were all quite relieved as he was a total arse. Her mother was actually crying with relief.

muffinmonster · 15/12/2014 14:05

A good friend of mine from university was due to get married and phoned me a couple of weeks before the date to say the wedding was off. Her fiancé had basically got cold feet, thought he was attracted to someone else etc. DH and I had already made travel plans (wedding was in my home town) so we went anyway, and we and some other 'guests' went out for a rather drunken and emotionally charged dinner on the night of the big day. I have always admired her for that.

Fiancé got over his issues and they were married after a year or so - they still are. I admire her for that, too.