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Original poster

Outdoing others at Christmas

81 replies

QuinnTwinny · 15/12/2014 00:57

I have several friends giving daily updates of their (frankly ridiculous) lists and generally getting quite braggy about what they have bought their children. I put a photo on Facebook of our tree and was almost immediately met with questions about how many of them are for DS, what they are and how much I had spent. I also ended up looking on netmums, because of a few comments from here, am I am gobsmacked at the blatant bragging!

AIBU to feel sad that christmas is pretty much turning into a pissing contest for some people?

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Fallingovercliffs · 15/12/2014 09:56

YANBU. I hate all the competitive rubbish that goes on over Christmas. How many events are you attending? How many cards do you send? How many presents to you have to buy? etc etc etc
I have pulled away from it a lot this year and tried to focus on the important things about Christmas and not get involved in all the madness. Otherwise the whole meaning of Christmas just gets lost in the midst of a huge spending and stress fest; Christmas day ends up being a disappointment as it's impossible to live up to all the hype; and January is a horrible anti climax, not to mention a reality check when all the bills start pouring in.

LoisHatesChristmas · 15/12/2014 10:01

I posted a pic of my ds opening a really expensive birthday gift one year because he was so excited and I got a couple of comments at the school gate which made me feel shit. I posted in excitement not to brag so I don't think all the pics are to brag but listing what you've bought and spent is just weird!

ebolahat · 15/12/2014 10:08

People wrap empty boxes to put under the tree? That's ridiculous and hilarious

LoisHatesChristmas · 15/12/2014 10:13

A friend of mine bought herself a big bunch of flowers to put on fb on her birthday instead if the ones her Dh actually bought her because his looked crap. Confused I couldn't keep a straight face.

ChickenMe · 15/12/2014 10:17

FB brings out the worst in people. It's pretty transparent too-the ones with the apparently perfect lives on FB usually have anything but. It's just PR.

You should look at STFU parents' archived Christmas stuff for a laugh at how tasteless people are over the pond.

youarekiddingme · 15/12/2014 10:24

lois Grin your friend wins!

TimelyNameChangey · 15/12/2014 10:29

My sister is like this and she seems to take it personally that I don't buy my DC hundreds of pounds worth of electronics at Christmas.

She has bought her DD a laptop on credit as well as about 400 pounds worth of gifts and she was outrageous when I told her I'd not be getting my DD a laptop.

I spend about 150 on both children (each) and that's enough. It's all "real" money. Nothing on credit...I just won't.

DD can have a laptop for her 11th birthday in the summer.

Hoppinggreen · 15/12/2014 10:31

It's horrible and not really what Xmas is about for me.
I hate the posts on here listing what they have spent as well - to be fair it doesn't happen much here but Nethuns was terrible for it!!!
My niece was proudly showing me photos last night of the pile of wrapped presents for her last year and sayng she's been told it will be even bigger this year, it's awful. I get that people want to treat DC's and if you can afford it why not but there's no need to make sure everyone knows about it. It's tacky and tasteless IMHO

Original poster
QuinnTwinny · 15/12/2014 10:40

I just find it all very strange. I understand a few pictures can be nice but it's the posed, fake ones that are posted to show how much has been bought that REALLY irritate me. I had one girl last year (now deleted from Facebook) who made an incredibly snide comment to a friend for buying her son a second hand DS. 'It's Christmas, it's the time to spend money' ehhhhh no, it's the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ.

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TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 15/12/2014 10:49

I post a pic on Christmas eve after Santa has been.It's not to brag,it's sharing the excitement,acknowledging you've just finished your Christmas 'job' and knowing your child is going to be running down in the morning to a lovely surprise

Mammanat222 · 15/12/2014 10:52

We are having a very small, minimal Christmas this year.

DS is getting a few bits, cat will get a pack of treats and we have some nice food in (choccies, cheese and biscuits, some buffet food in freezer for Boxing day - we are out for Xmas dinner) but that is it. Still probably spent a fair bit but have really tried to keep costs down this year as we've just moved and new baby is due in a few weeks.

cardibach · 15/12/2014 10:52

Facebook May bring out the worst in some people! but I've said it before and I'll say it again. It isn't Facebook's fault! I don't get bragging in mine...it's the people.
Presents under the tree before late on Christmas Eve is wrong when you have small children. Fact. Santa brings presents (even if some are bought by other people) so that has to be the case.
I think all the bragging you are experiencing is very sad.

MindReader · 15/12/2014 10:54

I find it amazing that folk think other folk will be ieven nterested in the minutiae of such things.

I can see it's nice to put up a pic of tree/decorations, happy Christmas morning pic of kids opening gifts for distant rellies to see, for example, but that's about all?

But then, I don't think I really 'get' Facebook Confused

Mammanat222 · 15/12/2014 10:54

Our tree is fake (was gutted about this but I always spend £60+ on a real one) and our decorations are what we have bought over the years.

Cards are from Card Factory and nieces and nephews just getting a £5 token gift each.

Ragwort · 15/12/2014 10:55

You need new friends and to spend less time on FB Grin.

I find I more 'competitive' about not overdoing Christmas, in fact I rarely talk about the preparations for Christmas as it all gets so tedious, if anyone asks me 'are you ready for Christmas' I have great pleasure in saying 'yes' and being cool, calm and collected. Grin.

MindReader · 15/12/2014 10:55

'even interested' - even.... Hmm

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 15/12/2014 10:55

Is it really bragging though or is it perception?

I've seen various people accuse others of bragging purely because they have more than them,so in their view should hide everything away.They were just sharing and being happy like everyone else.Why should people with more have to hide everything away to make others happy so they don't get accused of bragging? Are they not allowed excitement and happiness too?

TimelyNameChangey · 15/12/2014 11:00

Some people live by social media. My friend, can't do anything without continually posting pics on FB. She literally ITCHES to get them on so everyone can see what a nice life she has.

She's barely finished something when she's sharing images. She took her DC to a Chrismas event and the whole time was documented on FB AS IT HAPPENED!

So she wasn't even fully present. She was photographing and sharing.

ONce she forgot her phone at a party we were at and she harrassed me the whole time to add pics. WHich she vetted first.

ilovespaint · 15/12/2014 11:01

Who are these children with the concentration span to open so many presents anyway?? We have begged MIL to rein it in with the kids (not cost, just too many presents) because they get bored and then don't look at/appreciate the presents that others have thoughtfully bought.

And it takes SO long to open masses of presents. I'd rather the kids got chance to look at them properly and play with some of them, rather than just ripping the paper off then hurling stuff aside to get to the next present.

Just grim.

Storytown · 15/12/2014 11:05

That bothers me too Timely. Some people are so busy putting their lives on FB, they forget to actually live the life. I have a friend who Facebooked all the way through running the London Marathon. I've done it too and it was such an amazing experience I wouldn't have wanted to miss a second looking at a small screen

Fallingovercliffs · 15/12/2014 11:07

I hate that too iloves. Some kids are just bemused by the amount of stuff they get on Christmas day, and end up appreciating very little of it because they're just so overwhelmed by it all.

KarenHillavoidJimmyswarehouse · 15/12/2014 11:07

There was another post about this recently.

Agree with others -it's only a compettion if people join in. It's not limited to buying stuff either - the competitve kitchen martyrs come into their own this time of year too, but each to their own. I don't feel bad because someone else has made their own brandy sauce from scratch.

It does work the other way though. Last year out DSs were bought a present between them. It was pretty expensive, but a) it was between them and b) we'd gone for the more expensive option to "future proof" it if that makes sense - we thought it would last longer than a cheaper alternative. We did think about whether we'd be setting a precedent where our children would think such expensive presents were the norm but decided that was for us to manage (this year they have far more modest presents). However there were a couple of snippy comments from others as if we had deliberately bought our children something to make their presents for their children look inadequate.

Original poster
QuinnTwinny · 15/12/2014 11:09

TripTrap - I'm talking about genuine bragging. The particular individuals who have annoyed me haven't actually spent more than me, have nicer things etc. Why does being excited and happy have to be constantly photographed and talked about? Where is the chance to enjoy watching your children having Christmas fun, when you are immediately posting photos on Facebook, Instagram etc?

The netmums thread of people posting photos of everything they have bought is BIZARRE. Seriously.

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DangerousBeanz · 15/12/2014 11:37

I think with my friends it's almost a reverse brag, we are all skint so are trying to have the best Christmas spending the least money. Aldi, Lidl and home bargains are the order of the day and we are all sharing tips as to where the best bargains are.

Original poster
QuinnTwinny · 15/12/2014 11:51

DangerousBeanz I actually really like that. I have done similar with a neighbour, not getting into debt for a ton of presents!

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