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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it is rude to be early?

66 replies

MonsoonAlan · 14/12/2014 22:56

Another mum was picking up dd. She knew we had other friends over. I said she could pick dd up 3pm, she turned up at 2.45pm. Because that was when she wanted too. Aibu to think this is as rude as being late?

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheep · 14/12/2014 22:57

is IT a full moon???????? Xmas Hmm

nocoolnamesleft · 14/12/2014 22:59

Perhaps this woman, who was doing you a favour, came early because she was so terrified of your reaction if she were a nanonsecond late?

iklboo · 14/12/2014 22:59

She may have misjudged traffic. Or had somewhere else she needed to go. She was 15 minutes early, not an hour.

Original poster
MonsoonAlan · 14/12/2014 23:01

??? Yerself! What is wrong with my question? I've seen several threads on here about people being late (those who are always late and apologise, those who are always late and don't care, those who are incensed by others being late) etc. There's threads on here about shoes, feminism, Breast feeding, biscuits, don't think a thread about being early requires full moon queries...

OP posts:
Original poster
MonsoonAlan · 14/12/2014 23:07

She wasn't doing me a favour! She wanted my dd to go out on a day I had said she wasn't available as we were doing something else! I then said the earliest dd would be finished with our planned activity was 3pm and she turned up before then anyway! I'm not interested in vilifying that particular woman, I don't know her well.

Just a general, is it rude to be early?

OP posts:
greenbananas · 14/12/2014 23:09

I don't think it's rude. You could always have made the mum a cup of tea and included her in the general gathering/conversation if your dd wasn't ready to go.

I am always happy when friends treat my home as if they are always welcome whenever they turn up. That's the kind of home I want. ... but we are all different and I do know that some people need more privacy.

RedSoloCup · 14/12/2014 23:09

I think it is as you've said the earliest is 3, I am always early though and I so try not to be :(

ghostyslovesheep · 14/12/2014 23:12

yabu

Girlwithnotattoos · 14/12/2014 23:14

Sorry yabu, 15 minutes early isn't much, maybe she gift to you quicker than anticipated, lighten up.

CheeseBuster · 14/12/2014 23:15

I think it's just as rude as being late if not more so is some situations. But 15 minutes is not worth getting miffed at.

DHandhisJollyCarolingfoot · 14/12/2014 23:15

It annoys me when people are early for certain things but it's preferable to being late.

AuditAngel · 14/12/2014 23:16

Depends. A friend was taking DD1 out today. She offered to collect her at 11.15, but we had swimming lessons, so I asked if I coud drop her at the friend's house at 11. We got there early (10.45) so I telephoned to ask if ok or too early.

bumpthedoor · 14/12/2014 23:16

If you haven't finished doing your hair or make up and the door bell goes, it's bloody awful. On time or slightly late is more acceptable.

differentnameforthis · 14/12/2014 23:20

Such a small thing to get worked up about! Invite her in, make her a cuppa, say your dd is still busy & to make herself comfy while she finishes her activity.

There could be several reasons as to why she was early, so I think you are being OTT by getting so worked up about it.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 14/12/2014 23:20

It's one of those thread where the op doesn't care about the posters who reply unless it's in agreement.

Op grow a spine, if you don't want dd going somewhere say no. She is your child.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 14/12/2014 23:21

It was 15 minutes.

Hardly a big deal is it?

What would you have her do? Wait in the car?

AimlesslyPurposeful · 14/12/2014 23:22

You're being a bit unreasonable.

Fifteen minutes early isn't a big deal. If she'd been an hour early then fair enough but fifteen minutes isn't worth worrying about. Certainly doesn't warrant calling her rude.

Sparklingbrook · 14/12/2014 23:22

No it is not rude to be early in this instance. IMO.

Oakmaiden · 14/12/2014 23:26

It depends. Being early for an appointment, no problem. Being early for a party, yes rude. Being early to pick someone up - not really a problem - you just might have to hang around and wait a bit.

However, 15 minutes either way is fairly close to being on time. If it is a social engagement I don't really expect people to arrive right on the dot...

Marcelinewhyareyousomean · 14/12/2014 23:26

15 mins isn't too early.

I hate guests turning up too early. By that I mean 2 hours as once happened for dinner.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 14/12/2014 23:26

I think it is rude. Nothing worse the doorbell going when you haven't finished getting really / tidying up.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 14/12/2014 23:27

Ready no really

Oakmaiden · 14/12/2014 23:28

Did your daughter want to go to do this activity? If so, then yes, she was doing you a favour. She was taking your daughter somewhere nice/to spend time with someone she liked/whatever. If not, then why did you say she could go?

Sparklingbrook · 14/12/2014 23:28

Nice of her to come and pick your DD up.

WooWooOwl · 14/12/2014 23:29

Yes, it's rude to be early to someone's home when you don't know them well and you've been told that you will be busy until a certain time.