...to think this woman was being ridiculous

[MrsCosmopifairylight]

I was out shopping yesterday in a small local branch of a chain store. The store has a lift and a flight of stairs.

I was coming up the stairs with my 3 year old (who was a bit ahead of me), and there was a woman at the top of the staircase.

Woman at top of staircase was peering down, anxiously, holding onto the rail. I assumed she was nervous about falling, so asked DD to stop and move aside so the woman could come down the stairs.

Woman remained at the top of the stairs, and then a young boy passed me and DD, and started to go up. Woman appeared even more anxious.

I said we'd stop to let her pass, so she could come down.
Then she said to us, and to young boy (who was headed to where she was) "I'm very superstitious. Please can you go back downstairs so I don't have to pass you?"

I rolled my eyes and stomped past her, with DD. Woman shot me nasty glares.

There was a shop assistant upstairs, about to approach the woman, but as the stairs were now "safe" she'd headed off to leave the shop.

If she was that bothered why the fuck didn't she use the lift? Or why didn't she just wait for other people to come up the stairs?

I don't understand superstition and I find it incredibly frustrating when there is no rational explanation for this sort of behaviour.

Before I get totally flamed, I've a friend with a number of mental health issues including OCD. She advises me that she has issues with things, and I accept these. However, she would NOT ask other people to go out of their way to accommodate her needs. If she needed to not pass people on a staircase then she'd get in a lift.

I watched a programme once, something to do with psychopathy, and there was a doctor talking about how as a collective society we have more psychopathic traits now ie in busy public places we don't view other people as people, with problems, lives, etc but just as inconvieniences in our own busy lives.

I've never heard of people being superstitious about stairs. Sounds very odd and a bit of a nuisance in daily life, but being superstitious isn't the same as being mentally ill, and I don't think that other people's superstitions should be indulged really. I don't think I'd have gone down the stairs either, it was not a reasonable request. She should have waited until you both had gone up the stairs and then come down when the coast was clear.

I wouldn't have gone back down as I have mobility issues and it would be too painful to be going up and down.

She obviously had an issue but unless you suffer it probably is hard to understand.

She may have been scared she would fall. I think there was possibly unreasonableness on both sides.

I wouldn't indulge that weirdness either... Doubt many would

This post makes me wonder if OP met my mother.

She didn't inconvenience the op who simply ignored her and stomped past.

Nana had a whole collection of these superstitions.
Passing on the stairs, new shoes on the table, not handing scissors or knives, not cut your hair or fingernails at full moon, no 'up' umbrellas in the house, no walking under ladders, black cats crossing your path, various phrases to be said to various wildlife (!), spilled salt over the shoulder....the list goes on.

We smiled kindly and accommodated her.

I thought most of these had died out, but clearly your stairs lady still believed hers. I would have walked up the steps quickly and smiled at her.

I've never heard of this superstition, or most superstitions when it comes down to it. My sister, also not usually superstitious, scolded me recently for unwrapping my parcel containing new shoes on the table instead of the floor, something about not putting new shoes on the table? I was . The irony is that I am a chronic anxiety sufferer, so I understand worry, I understand it far too well. But it's like a whole other world of things that apparently I should be worried about but thankfully I'm not because I've never heard of them.

I was taught that passing on the stairs is rude (?) And that whoever is already using the stairs has 'right of way'. On a narrow staircase I just wait for the person on the stairs to get to the bottom/top but on wide stairs in shops, railway stations etc I just stay to one side.

YABU for rolling your eyes at her, getting so het up that you swear about her on MN and using your friend as the definitive measure as to other people's issues.

To be 'stuck' on the stairs and ask strangers to backtrack I would guess she does not have a typical level of 'OKness'.

But I agree that superstitions are irritating

oh god. She wanted you to wait a bit but you got huffy. Why drama it up so much?

Yanbu to think it's her issue and you, your dd and the boy should just keep going. There was no need for stomping though or being dramatic, just walk past and leave her to get on with it and come down in her own time.

You wont get superstitions unless you believe in them, I hold to some bit others seem stupid however im sure people look at my ones and think they are stupid too.

Just because it is a superstition doesn't make it a fact that it's not also mental health. Some of my compulsions are based on superstition. Perhaps other people are similar and that's why a lot of us wondered if she also had a mental health condition. Sometimes people just do weird things. Sometimes it's because of mental illness.

Threads like this are a reminder to me as to why I can't go out in public. I'd get classed as selfish and superstitious and rude. I'd never expect anyone to go along with my issues but I've had people do the nasty eye rolls and stomping when I've been stuck places. It's shit.

She might not have had any mh issues but she MIGHT have. It'd be nice if people could consider that people do have hidden illnesses and hidden disabilities rather than lump everyone off as rude just because what they do doesn't quite fit their idea of mental illness.

I would happily have waited at the bottom if asked. TBH, no, I wouldn't have dragged my three year old back down the stairs. I wouldn't have huffed or rolled eyes though. I'd just have got on with my day.

Why was the shop assistant hovering in the background? Maybe this woman is a regular

As someone with OCD I wouldn't expect people to accommodate me and my quirks, however there is no need to eye roll, I find it so rude.

I bet she would rather not be like that.

I wouldn't have gone back down the stairs if I had my children with me, but I would have been polite and said I'm sorry but we are part way up, and I don't want the children going up and down stairs. If I was by myself, I probably would, as I think a small kind gesture can change someone's day.

So YABU to be rude, but not to carry on up the stairs.

If she really was just superstitious then she was being silly and I wouldn't go back downstairs to accommodate her.

If she has anxiety or other issues it might serve her better to say so rather than saying she's superstitious.

I'm intrigued by the shop assistant, who sounds as though they were hovering about the woman. Did they know who she was?

But I think she WAS waiting until the coast was clear. The problem arose because you decided to stop halfway up, thereby putting pressure on her to move and to explain why she couldn't.

Mrs DeVere surely it is a mental health issue to allow your life to be ruled outaccording to beliefs which are totally unfounded?

All I can see was someone who was anxious about something being a bit thrown off track by someone else unexpectedly stopping for her, which made her more anxious as she then felt she ought to go, so she blurted out (politely) the first thing that came into her head. And for that she gets rolly eyes, stompy feet and someone starting a thread containing f words about her on a public forum. It wouldn't have hurt to step back for a moment and show a bit of compassion, even if you do think it's superstitious nonsense.