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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed when my clients are still in pjs when I turn up for work?

336 replies

missjenniferhoney · 14/12/2014 22:36

I'm a self employed domestic cleaner, have been for a number of years. I've recently taken on a few new clients (since Oct/Nov) and have been surprised to turn up to work at their homes to find them still in nightwear. It happened at 2 appointments last week, both at 9.30 in the morning. I turn up at the same time on the same day each week, so I'm not unexpected, and I always knock on the front door for them to let me in before using my own key as I think it is just polite. I honestly didn't know how to react, so just ignored it and got on with the cleaning after a quick 'Good morning, how are you?'

AIBU to wish they would get dressed before I arrive?

OP posts:

CupidStuntSurvivor · 15/12/2014 08:59

I could understand you being a bit if you were arriving at 3pm or similar. But you're not there for a meeting with them (as their accountant would be) and 9:30am is still morning time. You're performing a domestic service.

I used to stay in PJs all day when I worked from home...I'd certainly not add to the laundry mountain pile for someone who was arriving at my home but barely interacting with me. Even nowadays, I only get dressed once I'm going out...being in clothes without a bra doesn't feel right and I'm not hoisting a stone's worth of breasts into what needs to be a highly structured bra unless I'll actually be having more than a casual conversation with a person.

YeGodsAndLittleFishes · 15/12/2014 09:00

They could have all manner of conditions which are not disabilities, don't put them in the category of claiming DLA or equivalent, and don't make them look disabled.

For example, hypothyroidism means someone would feel the cold mornings much more keenly than most, be slow moving and stiff and struggle to get up and around (especially after a late night doing seasonal travelling or partying.) They might not want to tell a cleaner about their medical condition, and many might not even have been diagnosed or realise they have a problem that's got an underlying medical cause.

What I mean is, wouldn't it have to be intentional disrespect for them to be being rude to you? If it is accompanied with complaints and fussiness and lots of requests that you do more than you can fit into the time then YANBU, but in itself, not getting dressed before you arrive is not rude.

When I worked as a cleaner, I did find it was more work, and rather unpleasant to clean shower cubicles just after someone had had a shower, because it was all wet and steamy and harder to dry off, and my socks/feet would get wet. Not rude really, and it didn't usualky bother me as it was only people who were ill who would do this. There was one man who was not ill, and just chose to have a shower while I was there (and watch porn or swear down the phone while I cleaned near him) who was horrible, behaved like a spoilt nouveau riche brat and thought the world owed him money for nothing. I wasn't at all sorry when he said I couldn't clean his squalid little gaff any longer!

Latara · 15/12/2014 09:04

The window cleaner turns up monthly and I'm often in my pjs when I knock on the door.

This is because I do shift work and get very tired, and he understands that because we discuss it.

Maybe your clients do shift work or just like to have a lie in. What's wrong with that?

As a cleaner you're there to do a job, not to judge your clients.
(Having said that I'm quite a judgey person at times, for example if a toilet was filthy I'd be judgey, but I understand why a person may wear pjs at 9.30am).

DrSeuss · 15/12/2014 09:05

Is it not a good thing that they feel so comfortable around you?

hackmum · 15/12/2014 09:07

I agree with the OP. I don't have a cleaner, but if I did, I wouldn't dream of opening the door to them in my PJs. It's just a mark of courtesy in one's dealings with other people.

Latara · 15/12/2014 09:07

PS I always wear my bra under my pjs when the window cleaner turns up. And quickly brush my hair. Because the window cleaner is very fit (sadly he's married). Hehe :)

YeGodsAndLittleFishes · 15/12/2014 09:11

Anyone who says that's judgey, yes it is. Part of any job is making a judgement on whether you want to be there. As cleaning is generally poirly paid, I was not doing it for them money, I did it to help people out and for the exercise. So if someone was sitting on their arse the whole time watching porn or playing computer games (telling his hard working wife he was looking for work) then I do judge, yes! Just as I judged every single other customer to be a joy to work for.

fairylightsonthetree · 15/12/2014 09:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MistressDeeCee · 15/12/2014 09:13

Its nobody's business what you wear in your own home in your own time. Being polite and personable to the cleaner would be enough for me. Im not expecting that they're in my home to judge and watch - just clean, please. & I couldn't care less what the cleaner is wearing either, as long as they do their job well.

TeWiSavesTheDay · 15/12/2014 09:20

I was in my pjs when my cleaner came this week. I don't like to get changed until after I've had a wash and the kids were ill so that hadn't happened yet.

Now slightly paranoid! Definitely nothing to do with respect, more like I'm comfortable with you and don't feel like you'll judge me for not having got my act together yet today.

Mammanat222 · 15/12/2014 09:22

God I get dressed even when I am expecting a delivery!!!

How hard is it to throw on a pair of leggings and a top?

Cerisier · 15/12/2014 09:24

This reminds me of the comment my postman made to me one morning when I was heading to work (he delivers very early and often sees me putting bins out and defrosting the car in my pjs), "I didn't recognise you with your clothes on".

diddl · 15/12/2014 09:29

I think that this shows how unimportant some people think that their cleaners are!

but also the divide between people who don't see not getting up & dressed as a big deal.

PrincessTheresaofLiechtenstein · 15/12/2014 09:34

I was brought up to believe you never let anyone see you in your pyjamas (always had to be dressed before postman due etc ) so my instinct was to agree with you, OP, but actually I think things have changed. Casual clothes are often very PJ like anyway, and isn't it quite common for people to actually go shopping in PJs now? It isn't for me, but I really don't think it is meant disrespectfully.

eurochick · 15/12/2014 09:39

My cleaner is very important to me. I would have made sure I was dressed the first few times she came (if I saw her at all - she usually came when I was at work). Once she had been cleaning for me for years and I was on mat leave, I was sometimes in my dressing gown when she arrived. She's cleaning my house, not there to meet with me. I tell her to carry on as if I am not there. She does! (Meaning Jezza Kyle on the telly rather than my preferred Homes Under the Hammer...)

LoblollyBoy · 15/12/2014 09:41

My cleaner comes really early, and I am not dressed when she arrives. I'd have to get up at the crack of sparrowfart to have all my steroids and moisturisers dealt with in order to dress to receive her. While I acknowledge I feel odd not being dressed, I try to remember that the employment of the cleaner is meant to be a benefit to me, not a day to dread.

DustInTheWind · 15/12/2014 09:41

In my family, being disrespectful to a person working in your home is not offering them a drink, a snack and the free use of your toilet, and getting in their way when they are trying to do the job you are paying them for.

Johnogroats · 15/12/2014 09:44

During the week I am usually out of the door 7.45- 1900. Wearing cycling kit. I change at the office , although I forgot my clothes last week which was a tad embarrassing.

At the weekend our cleaner comes about 0815. I am invariably in PJs and dressing gown, eating breakfast and trying to organise homework or get them to footie. She has never commented.

listsandbudgets · 15/12/2014 09:46

I wasn't dressed when my cleaner turned up last week. I didn't tell her why but the fact was I'd only got out of bed when she knocked. Id had a nocturnal fit which left me feeling beaten up and exhausted. Not being dressed was certainly not intended as a mark of disrespect.

There could be any number of reasons why they are still in pyjamas op

anarseasusual · 15/12/2014 09:46

I might have completely the wrong end of the stick here but I worry a lot about how people like the cleaner and the CM see me (why am I not doing these jobs myself? Do they think less of me? Do they think I don't work hard?) and it makes me on edge. This thread makes me think that some cleaners actually do want to see their clients not too relaxed while they are working, as if it is offensive in some way. this makes me sad.

When someone gives me a lift somewhere, I would never sleep while they are driving, but stay alert in case I can help with navigation, unwrapping mints, general support. Because we are in it together, they are doing me a favour not working for me.

When the cleaner comes, sorry, she is working for me. I don't have to look like I'm working too (whether I am or not). this is what I think logically but I don't feel it and I think some of you on this thread feel the same way: lazy woman with cleaner should be working "properly" at something else if she is not cleaning.

(on the other hand my lovely babysitter posts on her fb group that she is sometimes booked when the mum desperately needs a day in bed and that is completely fine and understandable)

FreudiansSlipper · 15/12/2014 09:51

Oh dear op you have ruffled a few feathers

Unless you work nights, poorly or have a young baby skinning about in pj's all day is slobbish

But it's ok to be slobbish on mn as long as your staff do not dare to question this

I agree op I would rather be dressed just seems more appropriate I would not want to work around people in their stinky pj's

DustInTheWind · 15/12/2014 09:54

But Freudian, why doesn't she just tell her employer that she's annoyed by it?
You seem to imply that it's snobbish as well, in some Upstairs/Downstairs fantasy of servants and mistresses.
The OP can choose to work elsewhere if her clients aren't up to her standards.

HeeHiles · 15/12/2014 10:02

I used to stay in PJs all day when I worked from home...

And then I work from home but have to be dressed - I can't work in my PJs. The OP has been raised to believe being dressed appropriately when in the company of others is important and I agree, I think it's respectful and I was always told when growing up that I had to be correctly dressed for whatever occasion be it Church, visiting or playing out.

Not everyone shares these values but I'm sure we all have our irrational bug-bears as to what constitutes good manners - I could really hurt someone who didn't look at me if they are passing me something, makes me so angry No idea why!

MrsCaptainReynolds · 15/12/2014 10:04

I think that this shows how unimportant some people think that their cleaners are!

Nonsense, you can only be projecting your own view here.

I have a cleaner and wouldn't always be dressed when she comes. Ultimately having a cleaner is a luxury but there's pros and cons.

Pros -clean house, don't have to do it myself, don't have to buy cleaning products

Cons -cost, stranger in my house every week, having to tidy for cleaner coming (i.e. to a deadline)

It's a fine balance for the pros to overide the cons. If I also had to make sure everyone was up and dressed and "visitor ready" the cons might win out and I wouldnt bother having a cleaner.

Bumpedbonce · 15/12/2014 10:04

I work shifts, I have cleaners now because I have 3dc, a Dh and a large dog (list not necessarily in order of importance). On the days I have to look after the youngest between nights we have a pj day to signal to her that we will not be going anywhere and we won't be doing anything desperate more than eating, cuddling, reading books and playing in the living room. Is this not acceptable then?

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