Calling an ambulance for excessive drinking and falling down the stairs?

[LaChatte]

AIBU in thinking if you find someone you know at the bottom of a flight of stairs, conscious but pretty much incoherent and extremely drunk, and that they tell you they fell down the stairs, you phone for an ambulance, bearing in mind you don't know if they lost consciousness or not, and that if they vomit it might be because of the alcohol.

piper it's not an offence, otherwise you would be prosecuting people that didn't stop at road accidents, or stop to help strangers in the street.

And I think the main point is, she didn't realise he was so badly hurt.

I think blame is natural, I would probably feel the same.

I would only have called an ambulance if there was evidence of injury.I think his XP was kind to look after him the way she did.

I thought there would have to be a post mortem and an inquest into his death?

So sorry LaChatte about this sad loss of your son's dad. I'm sure there will be a post-mortem to ascertain the cause of death, and then the facts will emerge. One can't say whether any action on his exP's part would have made any difference until the outcome of the PM is known.

The sad thing is if he regularly got himself into this state then she probably was desensitised to his drunken states. If i found my dp in that state id be panic stricken . If he was an alcoholic not so much.

Sorry for your loss op.

No PM as the medical examiner called out to the scene deemed it was unnecessary and called natural cause of death. He was 41.

Sorry, my sentences seem to make much more sense in my head.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I can understand why you are blaming her, but I don't think it's fair. You are looking at the photos with the knowledge that something was wrong, that he was dying. She probably just saw a very drunk person, who presumably is quite clumsy. She didn't leave him - she helped him sit up and kept him warm until he sobered, it probably didn't cross her mind to do anything else. Even if she had called an ambulance, if she didn't know how hurt he was, she wouldn't have been able to give accurate information to the ambulance team and they may not have got to him in time anyway.

She dealt with him how she thought was best, based on his previous conduct and her assessment of his injuries. She did all she felt she could.

I am so sorry, though.

No pm? That's certainly unusual in circumstances like that. I attend sudden deaths and it would go without saying our casualty surgeons wouldn't issue a death certificate for a fall. But fair enough if the doctor did.

Were the police in attendance? It's a sudden and unexplained death, in our force they would attend.

"Surely it's a criminal offence not to seek medical help if you find an injured person."

I don't think that any criminal offence was commited. She did not realise that he was hurt. She made him comfortable.

I'm sorry for your son, it's a dreadful way to lose a parent. Although living with an alcoholic parent can be more corrosive in the long term than living with the death of one.

I don't think you're being very fair about his XP though, you said:

'we all thought he'd sort himself out eventually, as he always did.'

and presumably that's what she thought this time.
Accidents happen, she propped him up on the sofa, which she's probably done dozens or hundreds of times before, and left him to sober up.

What a tragic situation and how awful for your poor ds to lose his father like this. My sympathies to you all.

I doubt that the XP will ever forgive herself either. Unfortunately, from what you subsequently described, I can only imagine that she simply thought he was drunk as usual and that if he was conscious at the time, he'd probably not hurt himself very badly.

Yes, I still think I would still have called an ambulance for someone who had fallen down the stairs. But there's a bit of me that doubts my certainty given these particular circumstances. If someone was so alcohol dependent that they routinely fell but normally didn't do themselves much damage it is easy to see how you'd be thoroughly cross rather than terribly worried.

So of course you will be angry. But don't underestimate how terrible she will be feeling too. Nothing she can do will undo her failure to get medical attention for him and she'll be carrying that burden for a lifetime.

Sorry for your loss, and for your sons loss.
Given the further information, I can see why you are questioning her actions, the swelling to his face, obvious signs of a fall, the loss of bladder control and the type of stairs he fell down.
However, it is hard to say what exactly went on that night, and if she had ever found him in a similar state before and he had been fine so she thought this time he would be fine too.
The fact she tried to make him comfortable before she left, and the fact she returned to check on him makes me think she cared for him. From that I would assume she is heartbroken by what happened, and will regret not ringing.
Nothing we can say will make this any easier though, be kind to yourselves xxx.

Yes, police arrived first, secured the area until the medical examiner had been and ruled out any suspicious activity regarding the death. XP explained what had happened and showed the picture. She genuinely had no idea. I know I mustn't blame her. She's in shock too obviously, more so I would imagine seeing as she found him.

Nicky it's not an offence in the UK but is in some countries (Germany is one - you can, and if there is evidence will, be prosecuted for not stopping at the scene of a road accident unless others already have). Whether it "should" be law is morally ambiguous - I think it should, if sensibly worded (nobody should have to put them self or others in danger).

A friend's cousin died of cancer in her 20s and her normally sensible brother went out, got insensible on alcohol, fell backwards down a flight of stone stairs and died. Horrible, senseless and tragic... people will have walked past, nobody called an ambulance til it was too late.

If the XP was used to an alcoholics behaviour it is understandable though, and at least she brought him in and made him comfortable, given he was a drunken x... He could have died where he landed...

Sorry for your ds' s loss - sad and awful :(

I'm so sorry, your poor son.
Fwiw I may not have called an ambulance in that situation. Unless he was obviously injured I would probably assume he was just wasted and do the same as she did. She wasn't to blame.

She cared very much for him. She's just starting to realise how silly it was not to have called.

Re the sorting himself out eventually comment, it was more of a long term thing, he used to be a heroine addict and he managed to get himself off that, we all just assumed he managed to drag himself out of this too, once he'd reached a certain point (hence the photo for shaming purposes).

Yes, I would, because I've seen this dozens of times and more than once I have seen it kill someone eventually. It's always right to get help - but prevention's the absolute best help possible.. If that makes sense.

I'm so sorry for your loss, it is natural to want to blame someone, I'm sure she is beating herself up about it. I feel sorry for her, how awful for everyone. You need to focus on your son now

Sorry, I've only just seen your other posts. Feel daft now. So sorry for your loss. Will ask for my post to be removed :( sorry

Sorry for your ds, and for you

I would be concerned about head injury. I wouldn't automatically dial 999 but would take them to A&E to be on the safe side.

Oh goodness, i'vejust see the outcome of the fall.i'm sorry OP.

so sorry, I think many of us would possibly have not called an ambulance, not wanting to waste their time, not witnessing the event and the drunkeness