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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Calling an ambulance for excessive drinking and falling down the stairs?

124 replies

LaChatte · 13/12/2014 19:22

AIBU in thinking if you find someone you know at the bottom of a flight of stairs, conscious but pretty much incoherent and extremely drunk, and that they tell you they fell down the stairs, you phone for an ambulance, bearing in mind you don't know if they lost consciousness or not, and that if they vomit it might be because of the alcohol.

OP posts:
Finola1step · 13/12/2014 19:39

Depends. Tumbled down a full flight of stairs from top to bottom, banging the head repeatedly on way down - call an ambulance.

Slipped down a the stairs on your backside but able to steady yourself - no ambulance. But monitor.

I think the term "falling down the stairs" can be misleading. A slip down on carpeted stairs onto a carpeted floor would be very different to banging head on bare concrete.

Fourarmsv2 · 13/12/2014 19:40

The having wet himself would suggest loss of consciousness to me and so I would have called an ambulance.

Sorry LaChatte and your DS xx

Destinycalls · 13/12/2014 19:40

I have assessed a drunk alcoholic in A&E who was found in the street and he had a broken neck and was still trying to get off the trolley until we told him he would be paralysed if he didn't give over!

That's horrifying about your DSs dad but I couldn't really blame the XP as it's so difficult living with an alcoholic. Head/wall/banging comes to mind Sad

canweseethebunnies · 13/12/2014 19:41

That's a hoorible thing to happen and I'm so sorry you ds has lost his dad.

I don't think you can blame the poor woman though. She must be feeling awful and she probably did what she thought best at the time.

Finola1step · 13/12/2014 19:41

X post. Oh my goodness. Please ignore my previous post. I'm so very sorry for your and your son's loss.

LeopardInABobbleHat · 13/12/2014 19:41

Oh my goodness, LaChatte, that is horrendous. No one should have to go through that.

Original poster
LaChatte · 13/12/2014 19:42

Cause of death was declared as being ultimately caused by the fall (bruising was apparent the following morning, and a lot of blood had come out of his nose, neither of which had been visible directly after the fall (she took a photo of him on the floor before helping him on to the sofa, in the aim of shaming him the next day).

OP posts:
sillymillyb · 13/12/2014 19:42

I am really sorry your son has lost his dad.

Honestly? I'm not sure this thread is a good idea. I think most of us would call an ambulance, but if your used to just dealing with it, then maybe - like his ex dp, you would just get on with it.

I understand hating her right now, but it wasn't her fault he died. I'm sure she did the thing she thought best at the time, but I totally understand why you are wishing it was something different too. There's no right answer, and even if there was it wouldn't change the outcome. I'm so sorry for you all Thanks

OhLittleBoreOfWhabylon · 13/12/2014 19:42

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry OP.

LadyLuck10 · 13/12/2014 19:43

Oh gosh sorry for your DS op.
I don't think it's right to blame/ hate the xp. She may have seen this many times before. She dragged him to the sofa and made sure he was warm, it shows that she did care.

Thebluedog · 13/12/2014 19:43

My lodger did exactly this and broke his neck. So yes, I'd phone an ambulance

Original poster
LaChatte · 13/12/2014 19:45

The stairs are tiled and quite high (3 meter ceilings), I know it's not her fault it's his for getting himself into that situation, but no matter how much I tell myself that, I can't help but feel furious with her (not that I'll say anything obviously).

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 13/12/2014 19:47

I think it's hard for anyone to give a right or wrong answer, to be honest. H fell down the stairs a couple a weeks ago and obviously I didn't phone an ambulance, each situation can only be dealt with on it's own merits iyswim?

And fundamentally, it doesn't change the outcome and I'm sure if she realised he was badly hurt then she would have phoned for help. It's horrible for all of you.

Original poster
LaChatte · 13/12/2014 19:51

If she had thought for a second that he was badly injured she wouldn't have hesitated calling an ambulance, I know that. I just don't get how she didn't think he might have been injured.

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 13/12/2014 19:53

Well, she probably didn't think he was hurt. And like others said, people can fall down stairs on their bums and not be hurt at all so it is possible.

Maybe I have missed you saying, but did she see him fall?

LadyLuck10 · 13/12/2014 19:54

La do you know if she found him there or did she see him fall?

ReallyTired · 13/12/2014 20:00

Its all if buts and maybes. I suppose its possible that he would have still died if she had called an ambulance. A drunk is not necessarily treated as being top priority for an ambulance.

I hope that the woman has some support at what must be a very difficult time for her. I hope that both LaChatte and her son also have some good real life support.

LaChatte I am sorry for your loss. I don't think its reasonable to expect either you or her to think rationally at the moment.

slithytove · 13/12/2014 20:00

I'd be blaming her too.

I'm sorry for your and ds's loss. How old is he?

LeopardInABobbleHat · 13/12/2014 20:01

She was wrong to dismiss it as a drunken fall, however jaded she was about his alcohol problems. Even leaving someone that drunk alone is wrong and I don't blame you for being furious.

Original poster
LaChatte · 13/12/2014 20:01

No she arrived after, he was curled up in a ball at the bottom of the stairs. He just said he'd fallen, from the photo you can see he's got white scuff marks from the wall all down his shirt sleeve, and one side of his face is swollen and red (the side that had the bruising the following day).

OP posts:
Original poster
LaChatte · 13/12/2014 20:05

DS is 12. He's sad and disappointed. His DDad had been pretty awful over the last year due to his problems with alcohol but we all thought he'd sort himself out eventually, as he always did.

OP posts:
PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 13/12/2014 20:05

Surely it's a criminal offence not to seek medical help if you find an injured person.

TheWildRumpyPumpus · 13/12/2014 20:07

So sorry for you and your son's loss. I probably would call an ambulance if I found my DH passed out drunk at the bottom of the stairs, having obviously fallen from the top. But if he was an alcoholic and I was used to finding him passed out in various places around the house then i can easily see myself doind exactly what she did.

I'm sure she feels unbelievably guilty for not having called an ambulance, please try not to hold bad feelings against her.

TheCowThatLaughs · 13/12/2014 20:11

I'm so sorry to hear that. I was thinking that I wouldn't necessarily call an ambulance, but I wouldn't leave the person alone either. If he'd wet himself I would be more inclined to call an ambulance unless he did it often when drunk? Was she drunk too?

BOFster · 13/12/2014 20:11

I'm so so sorry to hear that LaChatte. I can understand why you're angry, but I guess she's feeling the hard pangs of hindsight now. Your poor son Sad.

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