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Original poster

To be shocked at this treatment of a DS and DD (news story)

83 replies

daisychain01 · 13/12/2014 13:30

I don't believe in making judgements over people's parenting decisions but I am wide mouthed Shock at what would possess someone to

A) pretend to be Santa for anything other than nice reasons
b) use Santa as a punishment weapon against a naughty child
C) make them so upset that they cry and then ...
D) film them and post onto social media. So everyone one in the world can see images of their distressed child.

Actually made me nearly burst into tears (OK so I do cry at everything from John Lewis ads to poetry).

here is the story, and OK it is reported in the Daily Mail, but even if there is a only shred of truth in it, then isn't that the cruelest thing to do to a child at this time of year. And I reckon it could be storing up massive trust issues for the future, when they know they were lied to.

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2870356/Little-boy-girl-left-devastated-reading-letter-Santa-telling-naughty-list.html

OP posts:
Neverbuyheliumbalonz · 13/12/2014 14:55

Whilst I think it's odd that she filmed this and posted it on FB, I want to know how the fuck the Daily Mail got their grubby hands on it.

I am assuming it wasn't from her, because surely they would have gone round the house to do a proper interview complete with Daily Mail Sad Faces and everything?

As for what she actually did, meh.....I have told DS that if he is not a good boy father Xmas won't come, most people i know do so at some poin in the run up to xmas, although I don't think I would acually write a letter.

Moreisnnogedag · 13/12/2014 14:56

Yeah it's a Hmm posting it online but I think all the really mean comments directed at her here are more shocking. C'mon now, there are tons of parents who at the end of their tether and will just about try anything. Are you planning on telling all those parents who post on the behaviour threads that it's all their fault and they're just shit parents?

Neverbuyheliumbalonz · 13/12/2014 14:56

Yes, I'm also surprised it made the 'news', its the biggest non story I have ever seen!

ouryve · 13/12/2014 14:58

Horrified as you are, you will to be doing a nice job of increasing the hits on the video.

YWNBU to find it awful, but YWBU to do anything help tothe DM to propagate its popularity.

GahBuggerit · 13/12/2014 14:58

really shit of her to film it and post it but as im going through hell with ds behaviour atm i can understand her doing the letter. but yes she is a massive knobhead for going public with it

and my kids ard half naked in their own home most of the time, bit bemused at the pp who had an issue with that

CaramellaDeVille · 13/12/2014 15:02

My mum sent the link to me this morning saying 'this is so funny, wicked but effective'
I should've ignored it as soon as I saw it was a DM link but instead I clicked on it and replied that I don't find it funny and that I do not agree with this tactic at all. Now my mum's not speaking to me Biscuit

KoalaDownUnder · 13/12/2014 15:07

Jesus wept, every day's a slow news day at the Fail, isn't it?! Hmm

furcoatbigknickers · 13/12/2014 15:11

I don't agree with videoing it and posting it going to dailyfail.

However, thousands parents will be saying similar to thier dcs, look at elf on the shelf.

Gunznroses · 13/12/2014 15:21

I actually think it's brilliant what the mother did.

Gunznroses · 13/12/2014 15:22

Not the posting on Facebook bit, that was silly.

Topseyt · 13/12/2014 15:30

I have no problem with the letter in the stocking. I think it was imaginative and effective.

I'm not one for posting very many private family matters on FB or other social media though. That is where I disagree with her.

I used all manner of tactics to bring my kids into line if they needed it. I didn't do the letter from Santa, but I sure strung them along with other such stuff. They were not harmed by it and now that they are older we look back and laugh about it. Hubby might even put some of it in his speech if any of them marry.

What a non-story, and fairly typical of the DM anyway.

treaclesoda · 13/12/2014 15:38

I don't have any particular problem with her pretending that Santa had written them a letter saying their behaviour wasn't what it should be and they needed to turn that around.

I do have a big problem with her filming their reaction and sharing it with people for entertainment. And that's before the Daily Mail got hold of it; I can imagine that part was out of her control. But then she shouldn't have shared it in the first place...

Bulbasaur · 13/12/2014 15:46

I've already said this on a couple other threads but, it's not an effective parenting method.

You got your kids to behave for December. Ok, great. What happens the other 11 months of the year?

Santa threats are a band aid fix to months of ineffective parenting in the first place. If the parents were effective in the first place they would not need to resort to drastic "Hail Mary" threats.

I don't think it's going to scar your child, I just think if you need to make huge threats, it's time to relook at how you parent your children in day to day life.

Are they getting enough attention? Are they cooped up inside? Do they have enough responsibilities around the house? Do you make empty threats you don't follow through? Are you stressed during Christmas season and maybe that's rubbing off onto them?

But that's just my opinion.

Santa comes to children based on how they've been all year, not just the month of December.

Neverbuyheliumbalonz · 13/12/2014 16:00

Bulbasaur its just an extra handy thing to have in your arsenal leading up to Xmas, that's all? Sometimes kids misbehave and its handy to be able to use the father Xmas threat when they misbehave leading to Xmas. At other times of the year I'm sure people have other ways of keeping their kids in line. I guess I'm more talking about simple 'if you don't behave the. Santa won't come' type verbal threats though, rather than full on letters.

Bulbasaur · 13/12/2014 16:09

Yeah, but unless you truly plan on cancelling Santa, it's not a good threat. I can see it as playful gesture "Santa's watching..." to up the theatrics of Santa to make the season more fun, but not as a serious threat.

chrome100 · 13/12/2014 16:14

I don't really see anything wrong in what she did in writing the letter - if it gets them to behave, great! but selling it to the press is exploiting her kids.

Pyjamaramadrama · 13/12/2014 16:20

Bulbasaur I think in most cases (certainly in mine), Santa is used as a momentary, half joking, threat, a throwaway remark that might work in that split second. Not really used to tackle any ongoing, serious bad behaviour.

Sure it's probably pointless, but sometimes life gets in the way and parents say daft things that were probably said to them as children.

usualsuspectsparkly3 · 13/12/2014 16:28

She sounds like a cruel parent.

Her kids will remember that for ever.

ElkTheory · 13/12/2014 16:32

Horrible. Just purely, utterly horrible. I couldn't care less if this technique "works" (though I have serious doubts as to the long term efficacy of such an approach). The ends do not justify the means at all.

aermingers · 13/12/2014 17:59

I'm not sure I agree with people who are saying that she didn't go to the Mail. There are direct quotes from her.

And anybody who reads the likes of the Mail and Closer will know that there are plenty of people who know that you can make a tidy packet of money doing or saying something controversial in their pages or getting their attention to prompt them to do one.

For example, recently the woman who said she was too fat because her benefits weren't enough and she needed more benefits to slim, the woman who said she spends £3,000 on her kids Christmas from her benefits and thinks she should get a Christmas bonus. That's the only ones I can think of off the top of my head. You the story then do the rounds of 'This Morning', 'Loose Women' and 'The Wright Stuff'.

Sadly there are people who would do something like this to their kids to make a bit of cash.

LST · 13/12/2014 18:25

Santa only comes to good children here too. And me and my db when we were little. I don't agree with putting a video on fb though..

Topseyt · 13/12/2014 18:44

I remember once being told one Christmas Eve that if I continued to refuse to go to sleep I would receive a lump of coal instead of pressies. I still refused to sleep. When I got up there was the promised lump of coal.

That was the year my parents stopped putting stockings in our bedrooms for us to wake up and find. Instead they put them in the living room or hallway, where there was space for us all to gather at the same time.

My real pressies were waiting for me in the hall. The lump of coal taught me a lesson - i.e I couldn't keep everyone awake all night just because it was Christmas. It did me no harm at all, and I certainly didn't have abusive parents. They were and are lovely. I was being a precocious brat and I learned to be more respectful.

ZenNudist · 13/12/2014 19:04

Some really sanctimonious comments on here. I'm willing to bet some are either blind to little darlings bad behaviour or have naturally well behaved dc.

Back in the real world the Santa myth fed to kids is that 'he knows if you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sake !'

I took an email from Santa in the middle of wrangling with ds4, he'd dropped a few presents off the sleigh. He also has Santa-cam and Santa-bots to keep an eye on everyone.

Actually Blush as feel it should be a reward for good behaviour, not a punishment for bad. So shoot me. I had zero sleep and the little so&so does nothing I asked of him.

In our house Santa gives more gifts to good dc, so it's not as if Christmas is cancelled entirely.

I don't agree with needing to share your parenting with the whole of your social network. I don't agree with sharing naked pictures of your dc. I don't agree with taking a delight in seeing your dc cry. I approve of the idea of encourAging dc to behave.

ExtraVolume · 13/12/2014 19:07

It might get short term results but you should be guiding your dc's behaviour for the long term results, be kind, listen to instructions etc. because it is the right thing to do. Not because it will lead to getting a load of stuff.

Mintyy · 13/12/2014 21:16

"Some really sanctimonious comments on here. I'm willing to bet some are either blind to little darlings bad behaviour or have naturally well behaved dc."

I think that is utter rubbish.

You can't come on this thread saying "I agree with what she did, but not the filming and sharing of it".

The entire story only exists because she did that.

I would love to know the timeline of events and if she got any money from the Mail for selling out her children.

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