do you go to bed at the same time as your DP? is it important?

[whattodoowiththeleftoverturkey]

DH and I generally go up to bed at the same time, but he has a 20-30 minute read on the toilet before getting into bed with me, by which time I'm almost asleep.
This irks me a bit because i like snuggling and chatting before going to sleep, its a quiet moment of intimacy.
Every now and then I let him know that I'd like us to go to bed together sometimes.
Last night he came up and didn't do his usual reading. He came to bed to listen to Question Time on the radio instead.
I was hurt and told him so.
I can't articulate why this bothers me, and we spend time together at other times of the day.
AIBU?

but he has a 20-30 minute read on the toilet before getting into bed with me

You sure he's not rubbing one out?

There is about 2 hours between me and dh bedtimes, I'm up quite early in the eve

I'm Sure we are stronger together when we go to bed at the same time and have that period of closeness. I need more sleep than dh, so I sleep earlier and he plays on the iPad. When we go through periods of not doing this (and he stays up playing in the play station etc) our relationship is not good. I don't know if not going to bed at the same time is the cause or effect but it's indicative of a crap season in our marriage. I think sometimes we both need time out, in the bath or just reading somewhere so I get his doing this. But bedtime is intimate and nice to share.

I try to keep the same hours as DH. On the whole we go to bed at the same time and get up at the same time.

When DB split from his wife one of the problems they had identified was that they had got into separate lives. Going to bed and getting up at different times had contributed to this.

I go to bed before 10pm, Oh goes to bed at 1am. We need differing amounts of sleep.

We go to bed and get up together every day, it's something we think is really important xx

Always when he is at home! Dh works shifts so its lovely when he is home and sleeping in the same bed as me.
We vary from 9-11pm but if one of us is tired the other always goes to bed too for a cuddle. Might read or watch tv but we don't go to bed alone.
Not that it's forced we just like it like that.

We are usually in bed the same time. We go to bed to watch a movie or show we are following together.

Although, sometimes we go at different times, doesn't bother me. I quite like wakingup a few hours later to her warm snuggles!

We rarely go at the same time because if I stayed up til near midnight or past I'd struggle staying awake next day. Also most nights I'm in bed before 9 so I can be up at 4am for work and I've never known him to go to bed that early

I suspect he sits on the loo because op says lets go to bed and he feels too bad to say no but he really wants to stay up and read for a bit more so tells her he's going to the loo.

I go to bed around 10pm and watch an episode of something on Netflix on my iPad and then he comes in around 12-1am.

He needs more sleep than me but I iften go up for a hug and a sleepy chat at the same time as him. Then when he goes to sleep I get up again and watch TV or potter about doing domestic stuff before going to bed in my own room.

We do not have compatible sleep needs but I do like our hugs and chats before bed ??

Yes, that's when we chat most.

id be well irked if dh read on the loo for 20 mins at bed time.

We sometimes sleep in separate beds because I can't stand him playing wow and the stiupid clicking of his mouse.

We both like our own space

oh dear.
No, I go to bed between 10-11:30 and DP does get into bed with me but plays xbox or we watch films or something.
I want to go to bed/sleep at the same time but he doesn't work until the evening, he has his lie ins and is never tired. I want us to have a routine but I work 9-5 so this will never happen. I am getting used to it however last ngiht I was woken up by a loud bang then kept awake by DP on the xbox BUT it never usually bothers me

I think going to bed together is important: I may be projecting because my xH and I stopped and it was the beginning of the end.
DH and I go to bed at the same time 5/7 nights a week or so. Cuddle, chat, whatever and then we either both fall asleep or he does then I read.
If he's staying up to watch the end of a film or something I'll sometimes curl up and doze on the sofa until he's finished so we can go up together.
...not suggesting that you hover beside the loo while you DH reads on it though OP!

We mainly go up together, dh is bothered by it far more than me. There are times when I stay up to watch something or get some bits done. Dh is generally asleep before me and there are times when he is asleep on the sofa and I leave him there when I go to bed. I do try to wake him and tell him I am going up, but after 3/4 attempts I give up and go to bed leaving him there!

Not at all. We used to, but he's a morning person and I'm an evening person so we gradually drifted out it. Nowadays, DH goes to bed about 10 and I try to get to bed by midnight, but it's more often 1. He gets up an hour before I do and gives DD3 her breakfast, but I have to get up at 7:45 to take her to school. Every few weeks, I find I'm exhausted and crash into bed at 9, sleep over ten hours and am revitalised (as much as I ever am these days anyway) for a further few weeks. I do think I need to sleep more but there's so much to do.

We have separate beds in separate rooms. It's bliss! Although in fairness there are medical reasons for this but actually, I'd long dreamed of having the luxury of my own bed, surrounded by books, the radio (which I can listen to as late and as long as I want without disturbing anyone) and the dog!

Admittedly, this situation came about because of DH's health and even though well again, he has to be attached to stuff at night. He has established his own luxurious little lair (Smart TV, radio, laptop) and so have I. We're no less close for not going to bed at the same time in the same bed though and it's quite usual for us to snuggle up on his (king size!) bed in the evening before cheerfully going off to sleep separately.

Everyone's different though. What suits us wouldn't suit others. What I couldn't be doing with was a partner or husband who was insistent that just because they were ready for bed, I had to be as well.