do you go to bed at the same time as your DP? is it important?

[whattodoowiththeleftoverturkey]

DH and I generally go up to bed at the same time, but he has a 20-30 minute read on the toilet before getting into bed with me, by which time I'm almost asleep.
This irks me a bit because i like snuggling and chatting before going to sleep, its a quiet moment of intimacy.
Every now and then I let him know that I'd like us to go to bed together sometimes.
Last night he came up and didn't do his usual reading. He came to bed to listen to Question Time on the radio instead.
I was hurt and told him so.
I can't articulate why this bothers me, and we spend time together at other times of the day.
AIBU?

So he has to have a poo for 30 minutes before bed every night? I would be really fed up with that. He'll get piles.

Minnie we have sex elsewhere at other times....

Go to bed after he is finished his poo then I think you need to chill out snd sort yoyrself out. To answer your question sometimes it depends

Nine times out of ten we do. It's nice. I like the closeness - we get to cuddle up in bed, and there are no distractions, which there are if we're sat in the living room - one of us is always on the phone/computer/watching TV and it just feels quite disjointed a lot of the time.

Occasionally one of us is knackered and will go to bed early, but it's not often and neither of us really LIKE going to bed alone if it can be helped.

He needs to change his bowel habits and go in the morning. TBF if it's taking 30 minutes he probably doesn't need a poo.

Some nights we do, some we don't. I get annoyed most nights we do as he sits watching his damn iPad next to me and I like to sleep in total darkness. Really should ban technology from the room, at least I've managed to get the tv out of the bedroom.

When men take half an hour on the toilet- with reading material- do they do the business then sit in their own cess and stench for 30 minutes before wiping; or does it take half an hour to lay the log?

If the former then that's just plain nasty. If the latter then it is a medical issue.

I would love to cuddle up in bed and chat once in a while but DP a night owl and doesn't come to bed til 2 or 3 am. We hardly see each other in day times and I feel like we are ships in the night most of the week.

Generally, DH and I do go to bed together.
When we've bruushed our teeth we often read side by side. We're like Morcombe and Wise!

DH and I used to go to bed together and read - it was nice.

Then he started listening to the radio while we were in bed together. Less nice - like you, I felt a little hurt as it seemed like he was deliberately cutting himself off :( he was bemused when I said this and said it was just 'cos Radio 4 is a good soporific!

Now we've got 2 DC and I have got into the bad habit of staying up late revelling in the silence so we rarely go to bed together any more. He'll just be listening to the radio anyway, so I can't see the point of trying to go up earlier.

If you're a saddo then I am too

Not usually. DP comes later bit we do some snuggling and chatting on the sofa before I go to bed so we still get that time which you are missing.

Better for sex life if you go together tho I think!

We go to bed at exactly the same time, but we have separate bedrooms. I've no idea what he does once he's in bed, tee hee! But we have our nice snuggle, chat and cuppa in the mornings. You're right, OP you do need some intimate 'together' time to create closeness and loving moments. Otherwise you can start to feel almost lonely.

I very rarely go to bed at the same time as my husband. My medication causes insomnia, so I go to bed roughly 2 hours after he does. That way I don't keep him awake with my moving about (arthritis means that I get very achy in one position and have to move). Even if I accidentally wake him up when I do get in bed, it's much easier for him to get back to sleep. He gets up earlier than me in the morning. It suits us fine.

Always. Illness is the only time that's changed. We read, very occasionally watch tv, but we also talk which we find is alovely part of the day after all the chaos of work and kids. We also get up at the same time.
My ex used to stay up all night watching tv downstairs, I hated it. he would lie in bed all morning, sometimes until the afternoon ay the weekends which was a huge problem for me.
Different strokes.

I go at 9/10 he goes later much later, I can not fall asleep laying next to him it drives me mad.

We always go to bed at the same time. He comes into my room, we talk and cuddle for a bit then I kick him out as we have separate rooms.

Would I care though if we had a few nights where he wanted to go to bed earlier/ later than me? nope.

I have a 13yo who "sits" on the toilet for ages. I doubt he's reading though....

Oh and I would be hurt if we never went to bed at the same time for those chats. With teens that is sometimes the only time we get to talk alone and in peace. That time is precious to us.

My DH doesn't come to bed with me, but when he does, it's such a special lovely time. He likes it because we normally have sex and I like it for the cuddles and closeness. He would come to bed with me more if I asked him too, but he just doesn't need as much sleep as I do.

Have to say your dh habits would annoy me. We mostly go together and sometimes not but 30 mins on he toilet rather than cuddling in bed is a bit unusual

I used to stay up a lot later than DP, I'm a real night owl, and would happily get the ironing board out at midnight etc.
Our relationship went through a really rocky patch for a while. One of the things we vowed to do going forward was to go to bed together. I'm glad we do now, it's lovely and I love having a little late chat about the day.
We compromised on bed for 11 and asleep for 12.

We used to, and I have to admit it was always important to me too. I just enjoyed us going to bed together, it was a time to chat and unwind etc without the pressure of jobs to be done! However DD is still not sleeping through the night and I am exhausted as I do 90% of the night wakings and I also struggle to get to sleep, so I now go to bed extremely early and DH comes up an hour or so later. I'm hoping we'll go back to normal when DD starts sleeping better!

I am fascinated by the 20-30 minutes on the toilet If he's pooing all that time, something's surely gone awry? I can't get past that bit at the mo.

There is nothing needy about wanting to spend quality time with your husband op. Some of us might not have much of a chance at any other time. You also don't need a grip because something is important to you that may not be to others.