To have an imaginary 'piece of mind' at this rude girl - even though she was long gone!

[Leela5]

Got off train at Victoria today and was walking to ticket barriers with everyone else - it's rush hour so lots of people.

I'm 9 weeks pregnant and in that period of feeling constantly knackered and hungover, so I'm just concentrating on the job at hand, hoping not to be sick on the man in front's Burberry coat. Surrounded by people so can't walk any faster than I am.

Next thing I know I'm being rudely pushed by a young girl, who shoves me sideways and pushes past.

'Excuse me!' I say loudly, 'excuse me!'

'Well walk faster then!' she retorts, tosses her hair and strides off, looking all youthful, carefree and non-sicky.

AIBU to have then spent a disproportionate amount if time replaying the situation in my head, where I'd come out with the perfect restort ; equally heartfelt, equally cutting, rendering her so full of remorse that she falls over her words in apology?

Am I completely doolally, or does anyone else do this too? And why can I never think of the perfect thing to say at the time?

*retort, obviously. Stupid autocorrect

If there is any justice in the universe she will have slipped on a banana skin just round the corner. She was indeed VERY rude.

All my best arguments are in my head after the event. I am at my wittiest then & my remarks are so cutting they could slice bread.

You were very unreasonable not to catch up to the woman and give her a genuine piece of your mind, although I can appreciate that running after people is not easy when you have morning sickness.

It is a good idea to run over particular insults in your head as then you are armed and ready should another similar situation arise.

I always mull over situations such as this and then if it arises again I am ready to give both barrels and it does pay off.

Actually one of my made up retorts was very similar to that - 'remember, karma will always bite you in the ass!'

...not one of my finest I have to admit, it probably wouldn't make the short list

Oh yes. I'm still replying in my head to a woman that shouted at me crossing the road in the summer.

It was my pissing right of way!

She called me a stupid cow in front of my children!

Witch

ral so what you're saying is I should keep a retort book on my person at all times, categorised by situation?

I love this!

P: 'Pushed by impatient cow at station'

I had something a bit like that screenclean when I was helping my mum who was nearly blind and had arthritis across a zebra crossing.

She was beeping her horn and revving her engine which scared my mum who fell and tripped.

I went over to the car which could now not pull forward due to mum lying on zebra crossing, opened her door and gave her the verbal bollocking of her life.

A retort book in your memory. No need to write it down!

Indeed Screen! She sounded very rude!

It's similar to the day I wore a leopard print top to work. It's not a slutty one, it's a long sleeved round neck cotton top. Not sexy, not tight. I had jeans on and looked perfectly normal and boring.

Was outside Sainsburys and heard someone shouting. Turned round to find a man in a van shouting 'Dress your age!'

I'm 34

If course the perfect retort came to me 20 minutes after he'd driven away

Put an ad in the Metro! Rude twit.

ral good on you! Hope your mum was ok :(

Leela you need to confront more at the time. That way you get it off your chest and it does not bug you as much.

I would do Lois but I really doubt she reads anything other than Cosmo or maybe Heat.

Mum was fine but the woman was absolutely petrified. I think she thought I was going to start decking her, which I would have done if she had not apologised to my mum.

I don't think I'd have managed a perfect retort but fairly short I'd have managed "fucking bitch" or similar. She was very rude.

My problem is that the right words don't come out if I'm angry, so I end up sounding like an idiot.

Example:
1994 - east 17 concert, I put up my (very small) banner for all of about a minute. I'm very conscious of not being a banner hog.

punch 'ow, someone just punched me!'

i turn round to be faced by a snarling bomber jacket-ed girl

"Put your fucking banner down, I can't fucking see!"

Adequate responses in this situation:
"Sorry"
"Fuck off"
"Would you like me to punch you back?"

Nope, instead I say (haughtily):

"Have some patience"

Yeah. That told her!

Have some patience

dignified
I like it

Someone pushing you a bit at rush hour in London's busiest station when they're behind you and can't see you're pregnant or psychically know how you're feeling hardly makes them a "fucking bitch".

She didnt push her a bit. She shoved her sideways out the way. Regardless of the pregnant status of the pushee I think that makes the pusher a fucking bitch.

You don't go round shoving anyone out the way sideways just because they're walking slower than you. And if you do you're a bitch.

Beaver speaks sense.
She was a bitch.
(Pusher not Beaver! )

Yep, i did this yesterday! Two (yes, two) cars parked over my drive. I tapped on the window of the woman in front's car, and said "can you move your car please, I need to get out" and she said "well you could at least have asked nicely!". I stepped back towards her car and said "I beg your pardon" and she flipped me then finger and drove off! What I really wanted to do was storm over to where she'd parked, rip her door open and tell her to "fuck right off! , that nice enough for you?!" But I didn't. Once I'd calmed down i figured she must have been having a worse morning than me. Bitch.

ThaT would have been so much more appropriate at a Take That concert!

Oh yes. I do love head arguments.

I always win.