To have an imaginary 'piece of mind' at this rude girl - even though she was long gone!

[Leela5]

Got off train at Victoria today and was walking to ticket barriers with everyone else - it's rush hour so lots of people.

I'm 9 weeks pregnant and in that period of feeling constantly knackered and hungover, so I'm just concentrating on the job at hand, hoping not to be sick on the man in front's Burberry coat. Surrounded by people so can't walk any faster than I am.

Next thing I know I'm being rudely pushed by a young girl, who shoves me sideways and pushes past.

'Excuse me!' I say loudly, 'excuse me!'

'Well walk faster then!' she retorts, tosses her hair and strides off, looking all youthful, carefree and non-sicky.

AIBU to have then spent a disproportionate amount if time replaying the situation in my head, where I'd come out with the perfect restort ; equally heartfelt, equally cutting, rendering her so full of remorse that she falls over her words in apology?

Am I completely doolally, or does anyone else do this too? And why can I never think of the perfect thing to say at the time?

Well, these commuters are just EVER SO busy and important donchaknow. They're totes allowed to push people who are in their way

Slow people can be frustrating but in this case there was a queue, not a dawdler. But even if it were, it's never ok to shove someone out of the way.

Its never acceptable to shove someone out the way even in London. I go to London quite a bit, never been shoved. People might get irritated by slow moving people but you just have to wait till you can dodge round them.

I swear if you did that round here someone would turn round and lamp you one. Never mind a pithy retort you'd be nursing a black eye!

YANBU at all. Imagine away until you start to feel better. That was a really nasty thing to have happened to you. I hope you are feeling better soon.

I lived in London for ten years, went through Victoria station every day. I have been pushed two times by rude idiots. Both times my retort was "What the fuck do you think you're doing, you fucking twat?"

I am sorry she was so rude and nasty and it's what I don't miss about working in London. However it's not just London it's various places and there's so much rush and rudeness everywhere and lots of people of all ages with no manners.

I too can never think of a good retort to make them feel bad. Perhaps we need to construct a Mumsnet Retort book filled with suggestions for every occasion ?
recent examples ... In London last weekend with 7 year old DS -waiting nicely for tube , it arrives we move to the side of door to let customers get off when we are shoved in side and my DS nearly knocked over by a 40 ish smartly dressed man who strides onto tube knocking departing customers everywhere too. It wasn't that busy and there were tons of seats. I said politely but firmly "Excuse me could you not wait just a minute to let people off " - not exactly withering put down ! He snarled and said rude word in a shirty manner and my DS piped up with " that's rude and you're old and should know better !" As we sat down DS turned to me and said you should give him your scary ET stare Mummy - it scares me!

That's brilliant, BeaLola! Putdowns from children to rude adults are fantastic and very withering. Hope that man felt truly humiliated.

I am strangely good at thinking of retorts fast. Once when I nearly got knocked over by a psychopath man in a car when I was walking across a shop's car park, and then when given abuse by him for "failing to wear hi visibility clothing or carry a light" (yes, seriously) and being a "dumb blond", observing the gap in his mouth where someone prior had obviously taken more direct action, said "Who is a gap-toothed cretin like you to comment on appropriate public behaviour?"

"Wow, you must be so keen because you're out without your lead."

"Walking on your hind legs must be tricky for you."

People who push and shove like animals deserve to be pulled up on it.