To be a bit upset at my mum? Weight related.

[MikeTheShite]

She's just told me I look like Gemma Collins
I'm a size 16.
Used to be a 6,3 Years ago.

I'm actually so upset

Although, I'd be furious if I was compared to Gemma Collins, not for the way she looks, but the fact she seems void of any empathy (judging by her appearance in the jungle)

Op i've taken these types of ADs in the past and put on a bit of weight. I am back to a size 8 now since switching to an ssri. People made such shitty comments about my weight as if i hadn't noticed. My personal fave was "but you look better skinny".

Politely tell your mum to swivel

Thought- I've had that one too!

The people saying size 16 isn't healthy? Is that everyone, or just some of us, I mean how on earth would you know?

Oh come on. Additional weight isn't good for you or 'healthy' - on your joints, or heart, or many other things.

Of course it's not the only indicator but unless you're incredibly tall and have a very large bone structure, no a size 16 is not 'healthy'.

Fwiw my bmi is within the healthy range when I am a size 16. I don't consider it to be un healthy, I'm not particularly tall either 5'9". When I was a 16 I was riding four/five days a week and always walking everywhere (to save my bus fare for booze). I was very fit and active, just a bit large. My mum is a size 16 on her bottom half and she is in healthy bmi at 5'3".

I was a size 12 and mum told me I looked like I had put on a few pounds. I felt a bit hurt at the time but she knows me and recognised I'd put on weight and it was due to my eating habits. End result is, I lost a few pounds, felt better for it and it just reminded me you are what you eat. You don't always know/recognise when your weight starts slowly creeping up and my mum isn't in the business of being mean so it was more her trying to encourage the right behaviour for me/my health. Perhaps she could have been more subtle than a Gemma Collins comparison but I'm not sure there's a polite way to say you have put on a few pounds.

I was a 16 when I got pregnant, I'd gone down to a 12 but the year between wedding and conception I slacked off the strict control I need to be thinner (I need to only eat around 1,500 calories a day to not put on weight it seems). The gain to go from a 12 to a 16 was also only 1.5 stone, it's remarkable how dress sizes are all over the place and you have only to gain an inch somewhere to go up one. I still wear some 14's. My blood pressure however was always spot on (midwife asked if I had bee an athlete?!) all the way through, I have never had any health related issues. I am however going to sort myself out in Jan, mainly with excercise as I also need to strengthen myself as I find it hard to lug about my giant of a 4 month old about. Excercise such as gym or classes are out as DH gets home late from work so no time really, so I've bought a baby carrier and we will walk walk walk! My mum was concerned about my weight when I was just over eating and drinking loads, but as a new mum she knows not to go there...

I think your mum probably meant well and said it in the best way she could - weight does creep up on people. Does she know about the SSRIs you're on and the effect they can have?

Themoleandcrew your BMI may be in the healthy range at a size 16 but I'm willing to bet that you're in the minority.

I'm a size 6 (I sometimes need a 4 or an 8 depending on the shop) and my BMI is in the healthy range. However I know that just because I am a healthy weight at a size 6 that doesn't mean that everyone will be or even most people. I know most people will likely be underweight at a size 6.

My sister crept up to a size 14/16 a couple of years ago and her BMI was in the obese category. Ironically she was actually bulimic at the time so she certainly wasn't healthy just in case anyone wants to say "that doesn't mean she was unhealthy!"

I would also say that 5'9 was pretty tall for a woman.

This is true. I suspect that we may in the minority being healthy at a 16 but it was said that if you are a 16 you are not healthy which isn't necessarily true. Mind you, I'm currently a 20 (it's on the way back down) and shocked my doctor at a recent medical by having no obvious problems. I suspect my body copes better being large as I'm still pretty active but I'm under no illusions that it will stay this way if I don't get the weight off.

I really do appreciate all of your comments

Could you try Venlaflaxine maybe? One of the ADs for major depression but normally associated with a bit of weight loss rather than gain. I changed into that in October 2013 and have lost 2 stone since then and I haven't been dieting constantly.

I've (sort of met) Gemma Collins. She is utterly unmissable -she's really pretty, very confident, very ebullient. And quite loud.

You should channel Gemma. WWGD ? What would Gemma Do? She'd probably get nails done, get more lashes, put on a very short sparkly dress and go out and have a laugh.

She'd obviously not stay in a jungle for long though. She'd be a crap role model for that.

Please don't cancel going out at Christmas. You must be very loved and popular to be invited to Christmas events.

I'm sure you look absolutely fine. I walk past gorgeous people of all sizes every day, and someone wearing a size 16 wouldn't even register as a "larger lady".

I know it's hard to accept yourself as you are. I too have gained weight due to anti d's, and it won't shift. But fuck it. One life to live, why waste it waiting to be a size 8 again?
Give yourself permission to love your body, today.
You don't have to hate yourself.
Being in your body allows you to live your life. Appreciate it for that, and look after it with kindness.

OP, un-cancel your invitations, go out and have fun.

Then, if you want to lose weight - and the fact that your mum's comment hurt so much suggests that you do - take an honest look at your diet and exercise. I realise that on your meds it may be difficult.

I really recommend MFP. I'm not trying to lose weight at the moment, but I've just lost over a stone on it and feel much better. It helps me keep a check on what I eat - which I need, as I maintain weight on what seems a cruelly low 1200 net cals a day.

I also know the mum truth pill can hurt. I remember mine telling me I should lose half a stone. I was a size 12 at the time and SO affronted. But she was right - my BMI was tipping 24 and I was on the verge of being overweight.

Hi, I used to be a size 16. I was happy with how I looked at that size.I looked better then than I do now.

I didn't lose weight because I wanted to but because I had an illness that a doctor tried to attribute to my weight when it had nothing to do with it and slowed down my treatment and diagnosis. I lost a bit of weight and then found out my weight was also causing my fertility problems too.

I have never been tiny though and hated dieting and didn't want it to take over my life so I'm still a bit overweight but am now a 12.

I used to get compared to Gemma Collins but even at a 16 I'd want to knock out anyone who said that to me because I read the other day she's a 22!

I'm going to try and do everything suggested x

I would say being 7st 11 at 5 foot 7 is also way too light too so don't fixate on that as an ideal weight because it's not.

I'm size 18 - pcos and post pg weight (it seems progesterone really piles the weight on me - as discovered via pill and depo and pregnancy and pcos I would imagine is part of that - I am also insulin resistant due to the hormone inbalance from pcos) and I have to work extremely hard compared to the norm to maintain weight ( do not have takeaways, or drink anyway - there is little to cut out ) let alone lose weight. But you always get the twats hat think they are doing you a favour with the straight talking - just telling you how it is brigade who exactly don't know how it actually is as their understanding of the very many different ways people gain weight - and they always add the caveat of except for illnesses etc but they don't know whether the person they are slagging off for their weight /laziness/ greed has an illness/condition or under treatment which causes weight gain.

Ps medication that puts weight on IS a tough battle - something that with a normal diet actually puts weight on at such a pace despite not eating what is the suggested calorie intake for losing weight for example (in my case this is true) so don 'to beat yourself up about it and do talk to your gp about other meds that might not put weigh on.

Thank you mad!

Some of the ten stone i lost which i mentioned upthread was while i was on the depo.

In the last 15 months i have lost 3 stone 9 The last stone has come off quicker......while ive been taking the Mini Pill.

That's you darkesteyes- my body is not your body and reacts differently - I did lose after the depo with bloody hard work - and the 3 stone that I out on in one year with the depo with no change to my diet or exercise was hard to shift - my pcos does make it hard to lose weight and easy to put on and I do react to progesterone quite dramatically - and your experience with depo which is not my main problem does not mean that I am in fact lazy and greedy or that I have not tried as hard as you (apologies if I have misinterpreted your post but it seems to indicate that your experience on depo shows that mine is a lie/excuse).

maddening i wasnt being funny honestly i mentioned it to point out that everyone is different which some people on this thread seem to find it hard to get to grips with. I did NOT mean and do NOT think that you are greedy OR lazy. Im not fucking shallow!

I think each woman CAN react to a synthetic hormone in different ways.