To not want dhtb to go to this funeral?

[ineedsomeinspiration]

We are getting married on 23rd December. Dhtb works in a job that involves shifts. He is away four days a week. He is due to come home on the 22nd. He is picking my auntie up on route home and it usually takes him about 1 1/2 hours to get home so would be home mid morning. This same day we have his family arriving and some people fixing our roof. We also have a 3yo ds and are going away for Christmas, leaving on Christmas Eve.

There has been a very sad death at dh work, not someone he was close to though and not on his shift. The funeral is at midday on the 22nd and he wants to go. This means he won't be home till around 5.30. I have asked him not to go as I don't want to be doing everything on my own on the day before the wedding. I won't be able to leave the house due to the builders being here and all will have to be done with a three year old in tow. It might not be so bad if it wasn't for the builders.

He doesn't understand my point of view and says everyone on his shift is going. I told him no one else on his shift is getting married the next day and that I'm sure they'd understand. As a point of note he missed his granddads funeral to go on holiday. I know I'm perhaps being a bit selfish but aibu to ask not to go?

Well, as long as he feels he has a duty to be part of a mass, and not go to the wake.

Take any offers of help that you get, friends, family, whoever. If I was your sister/ friend/ SIL, I would gladly lend a hand in whatever way I could, whether minding the little fellow for you, or collecting stuff for the wedding, or whatever.

Hope all gets sorted, and that you enjoy the day.

Wait... They're waiting almost 2 weeks for a funeral??

How are they going to preserve the body that long? Is he going to be cremated?

Are they just sticking him in a freezer for two weeks?

Given the visiting relatives, wedding and travel on Christmas your husband being delayed for a few hours seems small in comparison.

Purple has it. Delegate as she has suggested, and when in doubt delegate some more. If you have half a dozen adults, then it should be pretty easy to make sure everything's done, the builders are completely teaed up and cleaned up after, almost without you having to lift a finger! Most people want to help and don't want to make things more difficult, so they hould all be willing enough.

It's terribly timing, but what can you do?

Have a great wedding

Bulb, my grandfather died last summer and it was nearly 2 weeks between him passing and the funeral
The undertakers said this was pretty normal, because the paperwork from the hospital takes a bit longer, and there is a back log at a lot of crematoriums and graveyards.
I think it can be quite regional though, because DH's grandmother died a few months earlier and the funeral was 3 days later

Bulbasaur, we waited nearly 4 weeks for mum's funeral because she wanted a particular priest whom no one could get hold of. I had completely forgotten that we have a very close relative who could have officiated and she would have been very happy to have him too.

We also waited nearly 6 weeks for my brother's. That was because it was horribly complicated, we had to wait for the coroner to relase the body and the cops were supremely unhelpful. Also they were an awful lot of people who needed to be there and to be coordinated and heaven knows what else - it's all a blur to me now.

I assumed they did hang about in freezers.

Dd was a month cos of her post mortem :(

DFIL's funeral was yesterday - nearly three weeks after he died. Not at all unusual.

I think Bulbasaur is in the US and may be more familiar with open casket funerals where it matters what the body looks like? They are pretty much unheard of in the UK. Thank goodness.