AIBU to consider letting 8 year old DD change her name?

[EmmalinaC]

Her name is Elsa.

We chose it for her because it's beautiful and classic and unusual without being weird.

She was thrilled when Frozen first came out but in the past year she has been made completely miserable by the constant, relentless let-it-go-do-you-wanna-build-a-snowman comments and teasing.

I know it's a hugely popular film, Elsa is a princess not a reindeer and DD even looks like an Elsa so it probably seems very harmless but it's not just other children - even adults (including her swimming teacher every lesson) comment and sing to her.

She's always been very confident and resilient - she's been teased about her glasses for years but she thinks they make her look clever so it's water off a duck's back! - but this is really, really getting her down.

She goes to a good school and has a fantastic teacher who I know will deal with it within her class group and make it stop - but that's only a small part of the problem when it comes from everyone she meets - and everyone thinks they're being terribly original and witty!

Last night DH took her to the panto at Wimbledon Theatre and she was asked if she wanted to be one of the children who goes onto the stage with Tim Vine. She got really upset and flatly refused which is very unlike her. When DH asked her why she said 'the first thing he will do is ask me my name, then he'll make a joke about it, and the whole theatre will laugh at me.'

This morning she asked me if she could change her name to something similar like Ellie or Ella, or use her middle name, which is pretty and unremarkable.

I can't see that this is going to end any time soon because Frozen Frenzy shows no sign of abating and I don't know how to help her deal with it so AIBU to consider letting her change her name? Or use a different name when she meets new people?

Makes me that the name we chose for her is making her so sad and embarrassed.

My name is very popular now, but when I was a kid it was unusual, and only associated with a hugely unfashionable singer. I spent my entire childhood hearing the same two (crap) jokes. I feel for Elsa, but when the fad fades, as they always do, she'll still have a beautiful name.

Just let it go.

:D

OP
Your daughter is a tad young to hear this version, but have a chuckle

and then let her call herself whatever she likes in whichever places she likes until she decides to pick on a new name in a few years

Brenda
Liz
Lilibet
Elizabeth
Your Majesty

has never let multiple names bother her
nor should you and your DD

Could you not just shorten it as a nickname? Like Elle? Ellie, Ells etc? My daughters name isn't Elsa but she has several nicknames, Elle is 1 of them. DH calls her Elspeth.

sistersofpercy my daughter has a very similar name and she's also an Ellie belle! I wanted to call her Elle but she insists Ellie belle is more fitting....

I can understand being made miserable about her name.

Ellie is fine for now (Elsa is a lovely name.)

When I was a kid, Damian was a popular name - then in 1976 a certain film came out ...
it has taken those people decades to reclaim their name

I would say let her use something similar for the time being. She can always go back to elsa when she goes to secondary school. What about Ella, probably the most similar to elsa

Tell her to women up and get over it. Changing her name is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and what happens if the new name she is known by suddenly becomes popular for whatever reason?

it isn't about the name suddenly becoming popular, it's the fact that her name - a fairly integral sense of her identity - is being mocked and used as a tool to tease her with.

There is nothing like people making a big fuss about what you are called to make you feel like a complete stranger.

I changed my name at 7 from my middle name to my first name

I'd go with a nickname and see how it goes, in a good few years it will have died down but I think it's okay to do what you can to limit the cruel teasing asap.

My sisters and I were named after 60s pop songs and we were always being serenaded as kids/teenagers by idiots. A beady/sarcastic stare at offenders (and using shorter nicknames) did the trick

I 'changed' my name from Katherine to Katy* when I was 7. Everyone at school got used to it within days. My poor old mum took about 5 years to get her head around it, though. I even put it on forms and at the bank these days and no-one calls me Katherine. I still use my 'formal' name at the doctor and with the tax man, but every job etc, I put Katherine (known as Katy) and have no trouble. The same initial helps, unlike my friend Mandy.

*Not my real name...

I think you should suggest that she just chooses what name she wants to use but that she should wait awhile before deciding whether to legally change it.

I think it's her decision to make.

I use two first names. I use my long flowery unspellable first name with closer friends and my 4 letter 'standard' 1960s Middle name the rest of the time. It never causes a problem. People use Nick names and Middle names all the time.

Else is a fab name btw.

My name is Jenny and I hate the film Forrest Gump! Damn Tom Hanks and his bloody boxes of chocolates! Run bloody Forrest run! The remarks lasted a solid 6 months! What made it worse was everyone trying to do his stupid accent and failing badly! I wasn't quite as young and I can truly sympathise. It will stop but never entirely. I would get your daughter to make people refer to her as "your majesty" or "your royal highness" and make everyone curtsy when she enters the room. Failing that, and hoping that she is not quite as bitter about it as I am yet, let her go by whatever name will make her happy. Being 8 is hard enough.

she should wait awhile before deciding whether to legally change it.
She'd be MAD to pay out for any legalese

there are NO restrictions on what you call yourself

deed poll is a nice little earner that means nothing
I do wish people would shut up about legal name changing

TalkingPeace. You are right about legally changing your name not being Important.

Whadda
I use two surnames - perfectly legal.

There are so many "slebs" who do not use their "real names"
Benedict Cumberbatch, Phil Jupitus, Jools Holland, Grant Schapps
ad infinitum

I do not understand where the fuss about deed poll arises

I thought Cumberbatch was his real name?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benedict_Cumberbatch
Yes and no in that he uses his dads real name
and his mum uses another name

family names are fluid things once one has an equity card

I know a lewis Hamilton and a simon cowell

You can change your name by 'being legally known as ' moving forward, however (first hand experience) it makes things awkward. Re.passports etc

Try being a Rose West. My poor aunty still has jokes made about her name and she died 6 years ago. It wound her up but only because she felt any jokes that involved a murdering paedophile were beyond the pale. I thought of her when all the main families in Gavin and Stacey were named after infamous serial killers. Then you have my other aunty who enjoys having a fuss made over her at parties when a certain song plays.